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D.M_Barrera

Gay Marriage...? - Lesbian Ladies

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D.M_Barrera
Posted

Have yu consider the idea of marriage? To me gay marriage, straight marriage, is just marriage. I bet both encounter almost identical problems down the road. My friends however (straight or gay guys) don't believe I will ever marry a girl. Does that happen to any of you? Could it be that they deep down believe I will one day meet a man who changes everything, I fall deeply in love with...like a prince charming that rescues me from this lesbian fantasy land? Haha! I find it impossible..


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Rachel_Kind
Posted

marriage is about bondage, this is the 21st century I don't beilive in it. Desiring things will lead to ruin and so to desire to keep another person forever leads to ruin and always will.


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jessicazylee
Posted

I like the idea of a recognition of strong commitment. It's not religious to me, since I'm an atheist. But I think there is something fundamentally different from a boyfriend/girlfriend than a spouse. I'd like that recognition too.


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Posted

No offense D.M Barrera but if you believe your living in a lesbian fantasy and believe a prince charming as a man will save you then you might not really be a lesbian. I mean a real lesbian wouldn't believe its just a fantasy its real. The feelings, the sex, everything. If you really want to be with a man though you might not be lezbian in the end...


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Rebecca_Grant
Posted

i agree with rachel elegantly worded


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Posted

i agree


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D.M_Barrera
Posted

Lxis... i never said i believed tht, I said thts what my friends believe.

Jessica..as a new atheist, I think...I still can't fully let go of that part of religion. Maybe it was indoctrinated too much..I still look forward to it maybe not with a priest..


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ANDREA_ACOSTA
Posted

well i think that marriage deteriorates a relationship for some strange reason...but if u rlly love that person i guess there is no paper or i do's that cn tear that apart..i might be wrong but who knows??


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jessicazylee
Posted

i think it can be deteriorating if the couple has not thought clearly about the ramifications of marriage. being in a formalized recognized relationship comes with many benefits, but just as many restrictions. if you are not prepared... yes it's a stressor.


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ANDREA_ACOSTA
Posted

ms jessica lee.. maybe restrictions is what deteriorates a marriage..yes it has it benefits, but marriage gives a 360* degree turn to the couple..


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D.M_Barrera
Posted

Don't relationships have restrictions to? Unless yur in an open relationship


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ANDREA_ACOSTA
Posted

mr barrera in my personal opinion marriage is commitment...ur are commited to the person you married...open relation ships for me are like ah gf and bf...


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D.M_Barrera
Posted

mr? haha |-)
Ahh when I date someone, I am committed to them.. except tht in marriage.. idk if feels like once yu agree on marriage yu are ready to start a new beginning


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ANDREA_ACOSTA
Posted

TRUE THAT BUT U SEE WHEN U DATE SOMEONE AND IF THERE IS SOMETHING U DNT LIKE U CN WALK AWAY ANYTIME..BUT CN U DO THE SAME THING IN MARRIAGE???


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D.M_Barrera
Posted

Yu kould...but only few do


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D.M_Barrera
Posted

I think the problem with marriage is that people maintain this image of their partner, of how he/she was before the marriage or right at the beginning..and as he/she changes the spouse becomes frustrated and begin to complain even about that stuff that they once complimented.

So it's all there... Impermanence. Nothing is permanent, neither are people. There are things that happen daily that slowly change each person. I think that if both partners could understand that...marriage would have a better opportunity for survival.


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ANDREA_ACOSTA
Posted

SORRY BOUT THE MR PART I WAS WRITTING TOO FAST LOL
WELL THATS THE WHOLE POINT OF MARRIAGE BEING WITH THAT ONE PERSON YOU "LOVE" FOR EVER RIGHT???


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ANDREA_ACOSTA
Posted

I ALSO THINK THAT THERE IS NOTHING OR ANYONE IN THIS WORLD THAT CN CHANGE THE WAY WE ARE...WHEN PPL GET MARRIED THEY BELIEVE THEY KNOW EACH OTHER BUT DAY BY DAY THEY DISCOVER SOMETHING NEW ABOUT THAT PERSON...IS NOT THAT THEY CHANGED, IT JUST THAT IT WAS SOMETHING THEY DIDNT KNEW BOUT EACH OTHER...


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D.M_Barrera
Posted

Its ok lol

No, nothing last forever. Look around yu, can you name anything that has been the same forever? Not a tree, it started as a seed and it grew, and as it grows it changes, not the air, not a building, not a person, not even the Earth has been the same forever. I kould die tomorrow, or in 10 minutes. That is the thing with impermanence. Since there is no forever, you remember the past so that yu dont make the same mistakes in the present. And then, yu live the present.


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ANDREA_ACOSTA
Posted

TRICKY BUT STILL DISAGREE A SEED ITS PART OF A PLANT ISNT IT? AIR IS MADE OF NITROGEN AND OXIGEN ISNT IT?? A BUILDING IS MADE OF METAL AND A PILE OF GRAVEL ISNT IT?? A PERSON IS MADE OF CELLS BONES ETC ISNT IT??? AND EARTH IS MADE OF IRON, MINERAL COMPUNDS, ULTRAMAFICK ROCK ETC ISNT IT?? EVERITHING MYGHT CHANGE SHAPE STRUCTURE BUT NOT WHAT IS MADE OF....ANYWHO WE GOT CARRIED AWAY FROM THE MAIN TOPIC...LOL


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jessicazylee
Posted

whoa stop with the capslock abuse. who burned you against marriage?


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ANDREA_ACOSTA
Posted

its just personal opinion..bout the caplocks no commts.


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D.M_Barrera
Posted

Haha, yes yu are right. It is still the same essence, but never the same exterior. Thats something about impermanence, the essence remains. So the essence of the person you marry is there, but the person is not the same he/she was a year or two before.

Anyways...I thought i found the person I would marry, but I was wrong...so I guess theres no point in worrying about it


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Posted

I definitely like what you ladies have said about this. You both make very solid arguments. To me when you make that vow in a marriage its an eternal vow, You are completely committed to that person and promise that you will be there through thick and thin. Its an unconditional sort of love. It takes 2 people to be truly committed into making it work, They understand that there will be difficulties and things may change. But they want to be there for each other while these changes occur. We all long for some sort of companionship. And to have a bond where both want to be by each others sides no matter what the issue is comforting selfless and beautiful. I'd say its a blessing.

Although Marriage isn't always necessary. Every person doesn't have to get married to be happy either. Two people can still be committed to each other without having this bonding contract noticed by society.

Anyways...so in this serious committed relationship if both will love each other unconditionally and are aware that things do change. They can then work together to adapt to those changes and a successful marriage could be possible. It may take work but overcoming every obstacle together only makes the bond stronger. Ultimately if both don't agree on what this marriage should ideally be like then chances are it won't work out.

So if you find the right person....then yes its possible. and by the way because i think this was about gay marriage initially....it doesn't matter what gender race or social status you may be. Its who you are that counts. So placing the word "gay" before marriage doesnt change anything. There we go. permanence.


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