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Posted

I think that is one of the most difficult decision one has to make about themselve. Having had sex as a teenager with my male friends and also dating girls, would make some of my close male buddies jealous. That is something that made me ask GOD for help. Got married to a women at age 22 and never had sex with a man until 20 yrs. later. That is when I decided that I only wanted males as my sexual partner. After divorcing my wife, I decided that I never wanted to have sex with a women again. I enjoy a male sexual partner 100% now. So GOD what am I ?? Bi or Gay?? There are still many female and males that consider me to be good looking, and desire me as a one nighter or a LTR. GOD please help me, I am so confussed. I am really scared when a female approaches me for sex, because I know that I could never satisfy a female sexually. I am willing to speak to any of you of this issue, and would like to hear from anyone who is in the same situation.


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Jodie_Hendricks
Posted

Ken,
I will keep you in my thoughts & prayers.


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Posted

You are Human, give yourself, a break and don't judge yourself too harshly. Allow yourself to make mistakes and also believe the Our father is there to guide you ever step of the way.
Don't be so quick to put a label on yourself. Being human means that we are always growing. Many people both men and women can not deal or question themselves, so they self medicate with alcohol, drugs both or suicide.
I am glad you are here with us. Love yourself as God does.

A you tube, that might help you-I hope.

IT GETS BETTER - singer/songwriter Jake Walden -

http://youtu.be/woL-v2N-G7g

and a song for you by him

Jake Walden - For Someone - Music Video

http://youtu.be/Vu6l4C-XSUU

JAKE WALDEN "We Are"

http://youtu.be/P8JZQho1pEs

I pray you find peace and joy and most of all,.............Love!

Andre

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StuartLacey
Posted

hiya ken

I think the first thing thing you should consider is that many people male/female gay/bi/lesbian can struglle to satisfy there partners. so the fact that you feel you couldn't satisfy a woman is a totally different question.

the whole sexuality question is a combination of how you feel emotionally and sexually in my opinion.

Also from what i hear/read women tend to be slightly harder to satisfy in bed, compared to a guy (i'm gay so dont know personally, but theres more books on pleasing a woman in bed than men, so that must mean something eh). With men, we are far more easily satisfied, gaining sexual pleasure.

Personally i wouldnt be worried about what your label is, if you feel that you're not sure then stick with the bi label. not all bi people are strictly 50/50 with there liking men and women you should also think of that. so you could just be more attracted to men more than women.

And the fact that you are more comfortable sleeping with men, speaks volumes with where your preference lies.

And i would to finish with this.
Everyone one likes to liked,
All because a woman (or man) approaches you for sex, doesn't mean you have to sleep with them, comfortable or not.

(not sure if that helps) :-)


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Posted

Dear God, please help Ken out of his confusion and fears. You know him more than any of us. You know his hearts of heart. May you personally talk to his heart, quiet his spirit, body and soul so he can truly hear YOU and enable him the power to change, to find the light, to see the open door, and the courage to walk through it. Wherever that may me, may joy, peace, and truth always be in his heart. God bless him always and forever, Your child, Freeja


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Posted

I think a lot of us have gone through this self loathing that leads with pleads to God and sometimes suicide.

I was married had two sons, knowing all the time I was gay. Did that make me bi. No... not in my wildest imagination. I was satisfying the social mores of my family and society. Not my wishes.. not my feelings. I never lost that desire for a man.

Just look inside.. it doesn't make a bit of difference if you considered yourself bi or gay as long as you have come to terms with yourself now. The past is the past. As long as you are satisfied that is all that matters.

Now, leave God alone with this subject. I've got some important stuff in the prayer line....LOL


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Posted

My goodness, I want to thank all of you for your comments on my situation. You guys are all great and may GOD bless all of you. Your comments have warmed my heart as if GOD has spoken to me. All of you will be in my prayers also. I just wanted to add that I have tried suicide 3 times, and GOD saved me every time. Also I have 4 daughters that I have no contacts with what so ever. In fact 1 of them has been on this site checking me out and just sent me a very nasty up setting message about me being gay. So I am thankful to GOD that I can have contact with all of you. I love all of you and invite you to contact me on my cell phones. 216-744-6148 or 216-854-3563. I would really love to hear from any of you. Once again thank you ffor your kind inspiring words.


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Posted

I truly hope from the bottom of my heart that you will live a whole and beautiful life! Never try to take your life away again. You got all these people caring for you. Pray for your daughters. In His timing, everything will work out. Keep the faith Ken!


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StuartLacey
Posted

I ditto what feeja says, don't try to take your life away again. Unfortunately not everyone will accept you for who you are whether it be family or others.
Be happy with yourself and surround yourself with good people, good friends etc That will help get you through the times when your feeling low.

You probably know this already, but personally i have only a few good well great friends then many aquintance type friends. and i find it so much better that way. As no matter what you do, or how you feel you willl always have someone to share your good and bad times with and have support (whether it be sexuality related or not of course).

Chin up mate. Chin up mate :-)


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Posted

I have been blessed with my children. When enough was enough and it was time to live my life for me instead of everybody else, I divorced my wife, and got custody of the children. There were other reasons for the divorce, but my freedom was one of the primary reasons.

When I sat the boys down and told them I was gay, I was expecting the worse, but was met with love, understanding, and "Can we go out now," at the end. I still have a great relationship with my boys, and any problems we have, and we do have problems, have nothing to do with my being gay. They really like my partner, and give him all the respect he deserves.

As I said, I am blessed with two of the greatest young men a father could ever want.

It is her loss, not yours, I'm sure you are a loving person and she is missing that. Of course there are always other influences, like ex-spouses who mold their thinking, but again it is her loss.

Feel free to pass this along to you daughter if you like.


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Posted

Thanks for your comments and concerns Patrick. My 20 yr. open relationship with a young man who was homeless is about all I have in my life. I do have many str8 and gay friends that I see on occasion. But I am so happy to hear that your sons accepted you. All four of my daughters will not speak to me, not because I am gay, but because my ex-wife brought them up to hate me and my family. When my parents died, not one of them came to their funerals. This just torn me apart. Bevause my parents always loved them, even after my divorce. If it weren't ffor my casual get togethers with other guys for sex, I would go crazy for sure. It's just that I have so much love that I want to share with the right person. But I truly appreciate knowing you and all the other guys that have commented about my situation, and may all of your lifes be filled with kindness and happiness always. Thank you, Ken in Cleveland, Oh. USA


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Posted

There will be a better day. You live your life, and let them live theirs. There are stories of how relationships have been mended after many years. Of course those years can never be made up, but a new beginning can come from it.

I understand the spousal situation. My eldest son has been going through this for quite some time with his son. So sad, but in a way he asked for it, and now that he sees what is going on, he regrets his actions. I keep trying to push them together, but my son's bullheadedness and my grandson .. as they say, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

I have maintained a relationship with my ex-daughter-in-law, and I see my grandson about 3 times a year. So sad and he lives about 20 miles away.

I do feel your pain, but again, there will be a better day... for both of us.


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Samantha_Cruz_51415
Posted

i am going though the samthing i love bing with girl but i can see mysalf with out a guy.


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Posted

Hi everyone, it's been awhile since I've come on this site. I missed everyone. I feel very sad hearing everyone' s story. I do not understand why God has to put us in these difficult and often unbearable circumstances, but I know if we follow His will, all things will work together for the good. I went through pretty life threatening events in my life. While going through it, I asked God why. But when I came out of it, I understood. All my life's trials and tribulations have taught me infinite amount of priceless lessons, and has given me holy wisdom and shaped my character to be more like our Father. All I know is there is a time for everything. The bad part of our journey is not so bad after all, if we follow His will, we will see that all is meant for a greater good beyond ourselves. I pray that everyone will hang in there, pray for guidance, and follow through on His Words, for our Father will never deliberately hurt us. Remember the story of Job who did nothing wrong, but was punished anyways? His reply was "The Lord give and the Lord takes. May the name of the Lord be Praised." (I don't think it's by verbatim, but close). So praise the Lord in whatever situation you are in, and miracles will happen. Our Father has shown us again and again in the Bible, the power and miracle of PRAISE!


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