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Samantha_Cruz_51415

growing up - The Gay Christian Network

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Samantha_Cruz_51415
Posted

i have a ? for all u out there its been on my mind for along time.y do poeple get the fun out of pick on people about who they are or what they like?


Posted

bully's are insecure they want others to feel bad so they feel good


Samantha_Cruz_51415
Posted

not when the person having a bad day an want to cut


Posted

they don't know that and cutting will do NO good


Ryan_Siriwardene
Posted

if you like something that is not perceived normally by your peers you are considered gay.

Its when you leave high school diversity is acknowledged and you finally be yourself.

Dont cut yourself, you are too beatiful to have scars on your body. It takes time to love yourself, trust me on that.

Dont give into bullies by cutting yourself, try and stand up for yourself as much you can without forgetting yourself in the process.

There is a loads of people who behave like sheep and forget who they are just to fit in. DONT DO THAT.

Love yourself no matter and in time you will find people that will also like you for who you are.

Keep living and get the teachers involved if the bullying continues. Nowdays you can sue the school for not controlling the bullying.


Samantha_Cruz_51415
Posted

i go to college an i just dont want to be alone anymore what ever i do is not good for anyone it seams


Posted

Samantha... that's not true. It can't be. If you are having that sort of difficulty, you might look at whom you look at to be friends.

Time is not an enemy. It is our friend, and unless you are as old as I am, it's your friend... LOL You have all the time in the world to make friends and possibly along that pathway, someone special.

People will pick on people or things that are different or what they perceive as different. They will use all sorts of ideas, mostly unfounded, to discredit.. embarrass. or otherwise control the other person's mind. You can't allow that.

You just continue down your path and be yourself. I have always said there is someone out there for everybody. All you have to do is lower your standards, because there was only one perfect person and they hung Him on a cross. Then keep your eyes and ears open and only listen to the positive. The negative can go to hell for that matter, but you need to listen to the positive things in life. From that you will find friends.. like thinkers.. who will be special to you.


Ryan_Siriwardene
Posted

Lower your standards....Patrick she cant do that. I have done that, I have taken myself to a bad place and got with guys I shouldnt have got with in the first place just to get rid of desperation.

Sam, I am sorry to hear you still being bullied in college. Loneliness does drive you insane, it certainly did for me.

I agree with Patrick, focus who are your friends and they way they treat you and you treat them.

I am still single but instead of waiting for Mr Right, I am working on how I treat my friends and use that as practice especially if I bump into the one. If I dont treat my friends right how am I meant to treat the one right.

It was only just last week, I stopped seeing a Psychologist. I have been seeing them for a couple of years but I am finally at a stage where I am loving myself. It takes work.

Try and focus other things in life and dont let the bullies get their way. They are distracting you. Could you transfer to another college?

Do you have respect for yourself as well? Sam you can be a strong individual, dont choose the path where bullies get their way and the mind says yes Sam cut yourself. You can do this.

Believe in yourself


Posted

I was kidding.. a little bit, Ryan. Too many times we set our standards, and those standards are us. We need to find someone who meets certain criteria, but we don't need to clone ourselves.

Before you can love someone, you have to respect yourself.

Ryan, when I was saying lowering your standards, I didn't mean that far...LOL


Samantha_Cruz_51415
Posted

i do respect mysalf i just can stand that i feel as i am not good for a bf or gf anyone that i get leave me.even when i am a great as i can been.i am just go fed up with it


Ryan_Siriwardene
Posted

Oh I freaked out when I read that Patrick.
It makes sense what you said now!

Samantha you are not respecting yourself if you have to cut yourself. I really urge you to speak to someone like a counsellor or psychologist first. I am not sure where you live but here in Australia, I was able to go to the psychologist through medicare and get most of my money back for each session.

Dont expect a miracle, it took me at least 5 years to get where I am now but I had depression for longer than that.

Also put your belief in God. I am sure whoever that may be surely does not want you to keep cutting yourself


Samantha_Cruz_51415
Posted

i dont cut i feel like it but i dont do it i am a cryer when i get upsat i cry an think about doing it.


Ryan_Siriwardene
Posted

pen these thoughts in a journal with what you are feeling.


Posted

God made you well Samantha...other people are mean a lot of times and they may leave you, but God never does. But dont let other people's meanness reflect on who you are, because it doesnt...it reflects on them. You dont need to cut yourself...in fact please dont. Let God take the pain...and find yourself a c ounsellor in your area.

There is someone out there for you...just keep waiting and praying.


Ryan_Siriwardene
Posted

well said Daniel!


Posted

I have been in depression since 1998 and deep depression since 2000. I was in therapy for over 11 years and still see a psychiatrist for my medications. Some are for the depression and the rest to help my back.

I finally decided about a year ago, enough was enough. I am stronger now than I have been in a long time, both mentally and physically. I stopped therapy with the blessings of my doctor, and I really want to quit my meds, but alas, there must be some to maintain the help they give me.

I can now talk about it, which I didn't for many years. I was embarrassed, frustrated that I could not control my emotions, and angry at about everybody including God. We have since made peace, and I can pretty much tolerate ALMOST everybody else... well maybe except Vick... LOL

Samatha, you need to get a grip on reality and seek what you wish to find. Seldom do wishes and dreams come true without your input. Ryan is wise beyond his age and gave you good advice. God can take whatever you have to offer... good or bad .. pain or joy. It is up to you to take it to Him.

If indeed you are in as serious trouble as your postings sound, do as Ryan says and find yourself a therapist to help you through these times. People make a serious mistake in not accepting the help God gives us through others. I can tell you if it were not for Dr. Brown, I would not be sitting here writing this. God led me to him and he helped me find my way out of that darkness which seemed so deep.

Now... do something damn it!!! :-)

Love, hugs and blessings upon your house.


Ryan_Siriwardene
Posted

Patrick - Me, wise I doubt that.

I am still learning. Ive just been through what Samantha gone through but I hit my low point when I turned 25. I couldnt supress it anymore.

I even begged God to kill me cause I didnt want to do it myself.

With my psychologist, I did maintained an active lifestyle but going to the gym regularly and trying hard to not feel sorry for myself.

Sam - all of us have been given your some great advice, please take heed of it. From me I wish you the best and have a happy easter.

Life is VERY tough but I ensure God is still with you!


Samantha_Cruz_51415
Posted

i do go to one not all the time bc of school but when i can get there i go.it just seem that i cant fund anyone that want me


Ryan_Siriwardene
Posted

Hey Sam

Dont you see God still wants you? Otherwise you wouldnt be living and breathing at this very moment.

Even in our dark periods, always think God is still with you and try and take comfort in that.

I did when I felt so desperate and thinking why everyone getting what I want really bad.


Posted

Sam.. just live your life. Be the beautiful you that you are and one day.. it will hit you like a steam roller. The love bug will bite you and the other person so hard you won't understand it.


Samantha_Cruz_51415
Posted

patrick i will try


Ryan_Siriwardene
Posted

well said Patrick!

Sam: I am sure God has a purpose for you. I was desperate a while back but these days I am really enjoying getting to know people like you and Patrick.

Not sure what happen to my desperation of wanting to be with someone, lets put it down to God's work.

I just had to be patience and started really focusing on my University studies.

Sam - do you have any hobbies you really enjoy?
Also what else do you want in life besides having a partner to love?

Have a great easter or chocolate day?


Posted

You are more than welcome darlin'.. All is going to be better in the future... bet on it.

By the way Ryan, I have really enjoyed meeting you. Your insight is tremendous and an asset to our community. Thanks for including me in the discussion.

Love to you both and Happy Easter. He IS Risen!


Samantha_Cruz_51415
Posted

i go to college so u know what all come with that



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