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To You Younger Guys Out There - Gay Guys! <3

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How fragile, this thing we call, “Friendship.”

It’s sad in a way, that we treat each other with such distrust and disrespect. You will never get to know me and do you know why?
It is because I’m older so you think I’m less attractive, not the kind of friend you’d want to have, or maybe you think all I want to do is take advantage of you. I’ll admit there are those out there that would, but they are not how most of us are, so you turn guys like me away, not realizing you are the one missing out.
Missing out on all the love, compassion, knowledge, experience, and friendship I’ve collected all these years. My heart is no different than yours. It loves out of feelings for someone I care deeply about and a wanting to be loved in return. Still it is treated as if feelings don’t matter and everything on this earth is more about taking than giving. I have been loved and I have been hated, but I’m still here.
You will, one day, struggle to find acceptance, to find a lasting love, to know how it feels to be allowed to live your life on your terms and not be judged by anyone, especially people who have never taken the time to know the real you inside. You will never get to share what you know or have those moments that only true friends can experience because you decided guys like me weren’t worth it. One day, you will be one of those “guys like me.”
So think about how it might be years from now when you get to be my age and you are treated as wrongly by guys younger than you are. Oh, and you will be, only you will never have prepared for them like I’ve prepared for you. So turn me away, ridicule me, say whatever you like, you will be the one who misses out in the long run.
My life has never depended on whether people like me or not and it never will. So I’ll go on, but how long would you last?
Think about this:

Not all gifts you receive in life might be what you want or even expect, but sometimes the greatest gifts come to us because we took the time to appreciate them. Friendship is a gift, not a given, so accept it when it is offered, enjoy it while you have it, and appreciate it for all it‘s worth.


You sound like very depressed William, and it also almost sounds like you are trying to blackmail or frighten younger guys to be friends with you?????


u are so right william! ppl judge on looks and never character i mean look at me ima unsexy blob with to much hair... T^T but im a nice person and fun to be with but nobody sees that just on how big i am, oh well they'll miss out on wat could be


Have to say i agree with Dean. I understand that your wanting a younger male to be friends with, but on the other hand making a plea like you have just done sounds like blackmail, like your trying to guilt the younger male into being friends with you.

It is understandable that you are attracted to a younger male, but you also cant expect those younger people to have the same kind of attraction to you just because you are attracted to them.

If you can make a connection with someone then you will soon find out that they can see past the age (and taylor even being a 'unsexy blob with too much hair') just by being you.

Dont sound desperate because people can see through that. If you are a fun loving guy like you claim to be, then be that fun loving guy.

I am in no way having a 'go' at you, just telling the truth. We all have a right to happiness, even you. Just be yourself and there will be that one young guy that will notice, then another, then another.

Theres no need to feel sorry for yourself, just have an understanding that most younger guys want to be with other younger guys.

Be happy with who you are people. Only then can we see the real you, and begin to love the real you...


I am not trying to "guilt" anyone, or do I "feel sorry for myself." I'm not desperate in any way and finally I really don't care what people think of me. I have always lived my life with an attitude of treating people decent regardless of how they chose to treat me, but I see so much nastiness going on like I've never seen before. Older guys are all "perverts," while all younger guys are "vain" or "using others to get what they want." So I guess if I'm anything, I would say I'm tired of the nastiness of it all.
I do appreciate the comments, though, so don't think I'm lashing back. Finally, just for the record, I'm attracted to whomever I am meant to be with, whenever he comes into my life, and whatever amount of time I am given to be with him. It should never be about age - it should Always be about the Love!


i've been used by older guys but i don't judge on the looks of people...granted that gets me into trouble at times but i prefer to have fun the to have something attractive to the eyes... to me if a person is kind to me even they're scars are lovely.


Allister, that is the best out look a person can have. Its what i mean that while there are those that judge, there are so many others that dont.. You just need to find them


i agree with dean the way you talk that is what are scaring them young guy away from you william i know it would be nice to have a young friend but that is not what life is all about


Its no problem William. I'm not trying to hurt you, just helping to understand because we have all been there


I know, which is why I have to respect everything you say. I just posted something about Truth on Facebook:

People will tell you, “The truth will set you free,” but when it doesn’t work out, it’s only because it took so long for you to tell it.
Truth should never be a last resort when all else has failed.

I don't always understand why the Truth is so hard for some people. I do Thank You for your honesty, it is very refreshing.


I have put up a status about the damn scary flirtyness from people who are 40 odd and it is really SICK!!! They've asked me to take of my clothes and show myself to them! This has happened on more than one occasion and quite frankly it is getting to me!
Yes I am starting to refuse to talk people above 25 because it freaks me out when people at the age of 40 start flirting with an 18 year old!
Yes, I AM having a go at you! You have made me feel as if I've been pushed into a box with all the other teens who don't talk to the older people, haven't you thought MAYBE THEY HAVE REASONS!!!! Look beyond what they are saying to WHAT the REASONS are!
This has really annoyed me, I feel pushed into a box that you've created for these people who you seem to dislike because they refuse to talk to people your age, seriously look at the reasons they may have and don't try an guilt them into talking to the older people, they may feel so guilted by you that some sick 40 year old pedo may take advantage of them!, Well done! Congratulations on making all the teenagers feel like assholes! 40+ FTW!


I'm very sorry if you took it that way. I didn't mean it in a negative way, but I'm glad you felt angry enough to tell me. I've been lied to also, used, abused, etc; so don't think I h have no idea what you're going through. Your "Truth" is very real to me and my intention was not to put you in a box. Have a go at me if you need to, it's okay, I listen and I feel what you are saying. If I hurt you in any way, I'm truly sorry. I know there are some sick people out there and it's just a fact of life, that people, if given the chance will take advantage, but there ARE some of us who wouldn't because we've been there. Your understanding would be appreciated, but if you can't then that's okay too. I do Thank You for your honesty though.


Well i am all the way with Dean on this discussion.


In case you're wondering why I'm so accepting is because Truth can be a great thing, because it leads to discussion, which in turn helps with understanding. Understanding how someone else feels can make a huge difference in some day changing the way people treat one another. This is why I'm so Thankful to You all for your comments. Truth is the only thing we all seek in life and You all have been great.


Do we? I don’t agree with that William. Anyone gets the amount of trust and respect they want just by the way they live and the company they keep. Like attracts ‘like’. If any person regardless of their sexual orientation, lives by his Truth, they will attract the people they need around them. That’s the way humanity operates. Remember, Truth sets you free….WOW….and that’s real freedom.

What a load of bullshit!

William, I am hardly a statue of David myself. I’ve got bits hanging out all over, so I’m fat, what of it? Why do YOU think that you are less attractive. To me, it sounds like you’re not happy in your own skin. You will be very attractive to someone, maybe you just haven’t found them as yet. Just be happy in your own skin.

Well, if you are a sad sack, I can understand that no one would want to be too close to you. Obviously I don’t know you and you might also be a great person to know. However, if I am in the company of someone who is inclined to be negative as you seem to be, I have to be very careful that some of that negativity doesn’t rub off onto me. I’m a very sensitive person and it can happen. I have to take steps to make sure that when a person with a negative aura interacts with my aura that I make the disconnection quickly otherwise I feel it for hours and hours later.

William, it sounds to me that you don’t trust yourself. I used to be like that so I know how it feels. I got over it. However, carrying your thought to the nth degree, the other person still has the right to say “NO”. We are all responsible to ourselves.

You sound very sad William and you are lamenting the fact that you are the one who is missing out.

That is true and experience plus maturity counts for a lot.
Then ask yourself, why aren’t all the men all chasing you? If you are really all of those things that you have listed something should happen somewhere. Are you really a friend to others?

William, I think that is a principle of life of love freely given will come back to us. If you want to feel loved, you will have to start the ball rolling by loving and showing concern for others expecting no return. Then things will happen in ways you could not even dream about.

William, maybe you need to ‘give’ to humanity before you will receive that for which you are longing.

Everyone experiences that. Forgive, put whatever it is in the background, don’t dwell on it, and move on. Been there, done that.

I don’t experience that.

I don’t mean to sound nasty, and I’m sorry if I come across that way, but I think you are being very self-centred instead of giving out, you are trying to ‘accumulate’.

I am not judged because I judge no one. No one can judge me, God doesn’t even judge me, I am the only one responsible for me and I judge myself.

But we could all say that, very few people get to know us and our true feelings intimately.

William, it’s up to you to do that. You have to find ways to make it happen. It is only in opening up in a positive way to others and sharing your expeiience that they will then get to do the same with you.
William, I’m not on the attack but what makes you more special than me?
I too have had a lot of experience, I’ve also seen the ‘dark night of the soul’ and it sure ain’t pleasant. I’ve seen and experienced what “Hell” is like and by the grace of God, have been brought through all of that. We all go through times which can be very tough for no apparent reason. I can only say from my own experiece that those bloody awful times, which was over a 12 year peiod for me, can be a catalyst for growing out of and for building on. I have experienced a couple of those catylitic episodes and I just say “Bring it on” because I grow spiritually out of those experiences. You list yourself as a Spiritualist, I am the same and you will know that that negative experiences are intended for growing out of and that they are intended as ‘learning’ experiences.

No way! I couldn’t be that negative and that self-centred.

I do not agree William.
Damn it all, I’m 66 and have bits dropping off me all the time. My dick doesn’t even work as it did when I was younger but I will tell you this. I am having an absolute ‘ball’. I don’t have a lot of money but I have wonderful friendships from the whole age range. To me, friends are like touching a part of the Divine and they are very very special. I am very careful not to say anything to a friend that could be taken in a negative manner. If I do slip up, then I quickly do something about it. I have also noticed that there are friends who stick around for a very long time and there are also friends who come into our lives for some purpose, then they tend to fade out a bit. That is normal and friends are like stepping stones, in a very positive sense, to something of a fuller, more enriching experience of life. Out of those friendships there may be a special friendship which may involve intimate physical contact and a relationship. I too am alone and it suits me, I do not seek a relationship, I am very happy as I am and I can direct my love on a very wide scale. If I need intimate physical contact I can always take care of that myself at a time that suits me, it really doesn’t bother me and I’m not despirate.

Oh! Come on, who the hell do you think you are? You are sounding like the ‘external’ God of the fundamentalist church. Do you think that you are the only man who has the ‘experience’? That sounds awfully conceited.

Oh, bravo, bravo, William Shakespeare couldn’t have put it better in one of his plays.

William, you are being a real drama queen. Your words alone are evidence to the fact that you are stopping people getting close to you. We all want that closeness but you are taking a negative approach to it. Lighten up, learn to smile and do it a lot, learn to laugh at what life throws at you.

I’ve thought about that and I think that other people would last a lot longer than you William. Unless you change your attitude of course.
William, I’m not being critical but I think you are going the wrong way to try to get the things that are so meaningful to you and to me. It’s all ass-up (oops, that wan’t meant to be a pun).

William Reulbach

William, friendships start with you.
Think well of yourself and have confidence in who you really are.

By the way, I’ve lost count of the invitations that I’ve had from beautiful guys at this site for relationships. I’ve only been here since about February and I’ve met some beautiful people who have become great friends. I’m not really seeking a relationship. Life is just too busy for that and now that I’m retired I’m involved with some volunteer work in my local area. I love doing that and meeting new men all the time. Maybe nothing sexual will come of that but oh, it keeps my heart ticking along very nicely. Life is meant to be a ball and fun. If it’s not, ask yourself “why?”

I wish you lots of love.


I did feel sad reading some of these posts.I am 40 and have difficulty speaking with guys who are under 25 as a general rule.However i have experienced young people who seem to have been born old and visa versa.It is very tempting to put everything in boxes isnt it.
A very detailed and interesting post from you John.You sound like you have such a healthy outlook on life.Living proof that older guys have a great deal of wisdom to share.


Thank you Anthony.

I'm a pretty conservative guy who didn't come out until I was about 47. A section of the fundamentalist church (Baptist) always taught me to reject my true feelings. Well, that didn't work for me. I found that without being a raving idiot, that I have to live by the Truth that is in me. For me, that's the only thing that works. I also play church organ in a church where I am totally accepted for who I am. I don't play the old 'musty' stuff that bores people but try to keep it all fairly light. I've taught organ all my life and I know a little about what works and what doesn't. Yesterday after the service, a beautiful young guy, he must have been around 25, came up to me and thanked me for the music. He was genuine and I've now got his email address, I think it's going to be the start of a very nice friendship. I don't have a clue what his ideas are regarding sexuality but it doesn't matter. I've already told him who I am because I want him to be in the picture from the start. I think that if you are operating in your own 'Truth' that others will be drawn to you. I've experienced that many times and life is just so exciting. I'm not a religious 'nut' either but spirituality must be practical for me. I don't want any part of superstition, that doesn't help me.
Hey, I'm just an ordinary guy who has found what works for me and I'm very happy in that.
I've had to make adjustments going along and I'm quite a different person to who I was years ago. Thank goodness, I needed to change. The powers that be have done a complete makeover on me so that I'm quite different from my younger years.

A handful of true friends have carried me through some pretty interesting times and it's only in those seemingly 'tough' times that it sets the stage for growth and maturity.


In all honesty, we understand that we will become "those guys", but what mostly younger guys are looking for, are people their own age. They want to go through things together, and not have that someone who has been through it. It helps. Having a friend of any age is important, one of my closest friends is in her early 50's and i look up to her as my own mother. However, her man, who has a crush me, understands that i look up to the older generation for advice and support when needed, and look for a more plutonic love, instead of an intimate love. I also work in a store, where guys of the older generation like to hook-up because they are afraid what the world might think of them. We all understand what it is like to not to be accepted.


Excellent points!
I would feel like a parent with a younger guy,making sure he washes behind his ears etc ha ha.Seriously though,i was always taught to respect my elders because of their wisdom i was not taught to have sex with them.I have a friend who i hold alot of respect for who is in his 70s.
On the previous post.Yes we are who we are because of whats happened to us and when bad things happen i believe its all part of the master plan.When i reflect back on my life i can see why things did happen and as they say what doesnt kill you makes you stronger.One thing i do NOT want to become is a bitter old queen.Look to the future and leave resentement behind and be thankful for what you have,I always think.So we must let the young guys make all their mistakes and grow because of this.


By choosing to hang on to your corner of freedom, even in the worse situations you can process your world with the energy of appreciation and beauty, and create an pooportunity to transcend your circumstances


I had a relationship with a guy of 63 when I was 14. He had a go at me for having around toilets and never tried anything on. It was me that asked to meet him again and me that pushed him to do stuff. It lasted for six months, till he died of cancer, (He never told me about that bit). He was awesome but never pushed himself and also taught me loads about other things in life, not just sex.

He attracted me cos of something, but no idea what it was, it just happened.

Don't label me and then I wont label you. Everybody is a unique person that will never be repeated.

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