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Posted

I had a boyfriend once lol.
14th Feruary 2010 Valantines day the day we got together!
Things were great for 11 months.
15th January 2011 the day we broke up - his reason?
'I don't love you anymore'
Isn't that nice? NOT! But we still agreed to be friends.
Anyway, I sorta like someone else, today (26th March) the ex told me he fancies someone else - it hurt... Big time it felt like a thousand daggers stabbing me in the heart tbh really bad.
Now I don't want a b/f anymore, it hurts too much, I'm scared.
I don't know if it's a temporary thing or if it's my defence system coming into play.
It's too much to take in, too much for me to control, heads a mess right now.


Posted

Been out of relationship, with boyfriend of nine years, Andrew and I met, after placing ad in gay personol's, it was love at first sight. We traveled alot, went out for dinner's, movies, etc, he never did ask me to move in with him, saw each other on weekends, sometime's spent weekends together. Best trip ever, was going to Wyoming, for two weeks, kissed on hilkl side, watching sunset.


Posted

Sorry to sound a bit rude but that helps me, how?


Tach_Chew_We
Posted

well if it was me take some time to know what you truly want first before rushing in on smothing that might be a mistake, things look better with a clear head.


Posted

I must agree with Tachuwe. You should take some time to clear your head. Love is out there,and you really never know how long something will last,but don't close your heart like I did. Give it a chance to love again.


Posted

Richard, didn't mean to hurt your feeling, just sharing my feeling's, I do understand what your going thru.


Posted

Well from one Richard 2 another. I really think he should hav gone 2 specsavers. Anyway Rich we all loose a loved one at least once in our live's, it's not the end of the world, u are a very attractive guy and i bet u hav an even greater Personality, and u didnt bottle this problem up, u done the right thing and came on here 4 advice.I really think u will meet someone else in your life, even though it's hard 2 let go of ur last love, An even better guy and thrustworthy guy will come along. Oh Richard u will find Happyness again, i just kno it. And we are all here 4 u whenever u need 2 talk, All the Best *Richard 2*


Robert_Connors
Posted

yes to everything everyone said I just got out of a 8 yr relationship not doing so good myself but like what was said clear your head it may take awhile dude I had a true love that left me for a woman @ really bad time it took me about 3 years before I got back into a relationship didn't want anything to do with anyone but hope you don't take that long but that is your choice and yours only keep your head up guy


Posted

Hi Richard, I can sort of understand where ur comin from. I've been in a relationship for 10 yrs (annvsy was 14 March) and we have both changed so much in that time that i'm unsure if i even like him anymore!!! However 2 months ago he brought bk a girl, persuaded me to allow her 2 stay. I didn't really want her to but I allowed it, he does know how to manipulate me i suppose! He said that he was going to sleepon the floor as we are in separate beds right now as i cannot get a good nights sleep as he has a twichting problem and we aint been fully intimate 4 a few years now either. not sure if I even find him attractive anymore. However when i woke up in the night as i found them in the same bed and funnily enough my b/f woke at the same time and all i did was look over towards them and i think my look said it all 2 him as strangely enough I was hurt by this even though the following morning he swore that nothing went on and she insisted that he don't sleep on the floor. He failed 2 even inform her of "us" nor that he was gay and apparently she did try it on but he told her she was not interested. I have to just take his word for that as i will never know and won't let it eat at me. The following day i told her about us. she was shocked, he was annoyed that i told her. the atomosphere greatly changed after that. She got him to ask if she could stay another night which i refused. i went out and the b/f then came an met me telling me she'd gone. we seemed 2 be ok but he had to leave earlier than me and by the time i got home he was not there & my lodger told me that he said that i apparently wanted him 2 stay at his dads annd he'll be back the following day. I got he night bus over to his dads only to find the house in darkness. Annoyed is an understatement as even though his dad was away at the time i knew he had his own keys so the only other explaination was he was with her.
I return home not knowing if to be hurt, angry upset or even worried about him. i ended up taking a valium and sleeping. He returned the following day, all upset claiming to have been mugged nad thought i wouldn't believe him so had just been "wandering". As much as i was not believing it i still let him stay! Part of me was glad he was bk! y i dnt know!!! For the following few weeks we were getting on better, he was more apologetic but slowly the "truth" came out. following the "mugging" he'd run into her again and was distressed so she'd promised 2 help him by getting him some money from her other half so he went 2 her estate with her an waited 4 her retun but she never came after he'd waited 4 hours. Part of me is upset because of the deciet but then the otherside of me is not bothered. i do feel the relationship has run it course but neither of us wants or knows how 2 end it so we pretend we have a future:/
I do not know how this will end up but i think yu've done th right thing by splitting up as much as it hurts as being in a virtual relationship with no tust or respect hurts a whole lot more in the long run, trust me.
i do hope thing improve 4 u and u find what IS right 4 u. I hope this may help u in some way to overcome ur hurt but i doubt it somehow. Take care Richard xxx


Posted

Well said all of you.It may not give comfort but does show that friends are on here to help as much as they are able


Robert_Connors
Posted

@ michael love is blind believe me been there done that but he ended up leaving me for a woman it sucks


Posted

Yes Robert Love can be blind but after sometime the fog clears and the blindness passes but still we don't like admitting the truth so carry on burying our heads in the sands- the truth is hard 2 take but i think the longer it goes on an the more the lack of be equally loved hurts so the love eventuall turns to hate making the situation even worse so if they're not happy and the think they've found it elsewhere it's best they do go b4 they resent u more by feeling trapped in some way. I still hav this to go through and i think that i'm possibly going through the process of preparing 4 the enevitable. who knows?? x


Robert_Connors
Posted

yes michael I just had to make that dicision just before X mas with my partner he was getting how do I say fisically abusive hadn't had a good relationship 4 quit some time finaly said enough is enough


Dave_Mack
Posted

Hey Richard I too can relate. If I may give you a small piece of advice here...stay single for awhile. Whomever you start up with now you will constantly compare to the ex. Take time for yourself. You deserve it. Be good to yourself and be patient. Trust me a new love will come along when you least expect it.
Good luck and thanks for sharing.


Robert_Connors
Posted

exalent advice David so true


Michael_Wolfe
Posted

@Michael I would frist like to say that if you are really not in love with your friend then you two need to sit down and talk about it.It is not good for the both of you..

Being in a relationship but not have nothing to do with each other is going to end very bad.You say it has been going on for some time now and that you sleep in different beds. Why has this happen there must of been some thing that made you fall in love frist place? How long has this been going on?

The next things I have to say might hurt or it might help I hope it helps.
What has happen in the past ten yrs that things has change? You do know that change for a reason it is to make you grow together,not apart.

Now lets talk about the girl thing...If you gave into him why didn't you put her on the couch instead of the same bedroom you slleep in?? Is he younger then you is why you let him manipulate you..A relationship is a joint party not one getting over on the other..It don't work one of you will get pissy..

When did you you feel that the relationship was falling apart? Is the reason you feel that way is that you stop having sex? Sex is not always number one in a relationship friendship should be frist and formost. If you don't start out as friends you will never be friends..

I feel you have alot of things that has been eating at and you havae keep them to yourself,yu should know thaat keeping thing to one self is not go for a relationship you must talk..

Why did he feel that you wanted him to stay at his dads place? Did you say something to makae him think that? If you went all the way over there and the house was in the dark why not knock on the door to see if he was ok??

I think that you both still love each other and you don't know how to show it..Maybe if you both take time off in what you are doing and go someplace by yourself you just might fall back in love..Go somewere you both would like and just have fun..Don't talk about what has happen or what might happen just be together..It might just help. If it don't help then stop pretending sit down and talk to each other..

I do know somewhat because you see I am in a relationship of 23yrs now and trust me the frist 5 yrs was the hardest in our life..We broke up 3 times in those 5 yrs and not just for on month or two,I'm talking months without each other.After we talk we relize that we were ment for each other and are happy in love..
We also know that sex was not the most important thing in our life we had a friendship frist and thats what counts be friends and everthing else will fall in place..

Remember what has happen in the past stays in the past don't bring things up.If you ever have anyone staying over again put them on the couch not in the same bedroom that both of you sleep in..

I am sorry if this sounds hard but if you love him and I mean truely love him work things out after so long being together you both need to know if not get out of it because it is not good for him or you..

I am sorry that I have repeat things in this thread. Good luck and I hope this has help you.

@Rich i hope my letter to you help too..



Posted

@ michael, thanks but things run a lot deeper than this. I did knock on his Dad's and knew he was not there. him saying 2 my lodger i wanted him 2 go his Dads was a lie as he had my other phone an dropped it bk so i couldn't contact him. yes he s younger than me and we do try 2 talk but it results in arguing and we r both tired of it mentally and pysically. neither of us r truly happy but wont admit defeat especially as a lot of people said our relationship was doomed from the start. we have tried 2 getting away just the 2 of us a few years bk an got on wel but after a few weeks bk things went bk 2 the same old same old. We also wrk 2gether an our finances r tied with a lots of debt so it seems like principally we should try a get through this but we both got issues as much as we try 2 communicate but as i said it only results in rows. i always get it mentioned that he came out 2 his family 4 us an ran the risk of losing them. hwever he did not lose them so don't c y it needs bringing up even after 10 yrs!!! The night he went off an i did not know where he was i had so many mixed emotions my head was spinning.
i wish things could go back to the way thing were but i know that'll not happen. Maybe an open relationship is the answer:/ i don't know but the lack of sexis due to a number of reasons, drugs, physical attraction disappearing, not sleeping together due to me not being able 2 get a gd nights sleep as he kicks out and twitches a lot which disturbs me but he won't even seek help with it.
My moods have been up down and around and around, deep dark thoughts, happy 1's. it's just so fu**ed ip right now that's all i do know 4 sure
Thanks 4 ur thread x


Michael_Wolfe
Posted

Welll Mike the only thng I can say is get out now before it goes any further. It does not help you or him to be together. The love you had is gone and he should be too.If you have try everything then leave..


Michael_Wolfe
Posted

Thx Johnny..I hope it help Mike and others that are through the same thing.


Michael_Wolfe
Posted

Sorry miss the word. Should read &gtgoing through


Robert_Connors
Posted

@ micheal the longer u put it off the harder it is going to be believe me dude I talk from exsperience


Posted

Thanks guys I know I have 2 do it but I sometimes hope it will get better. Btw it's my flat originally and I'm the sole tenant even after 10 yrs so it's not that easy to go an neither will he as i've always promised that regardless of us I would never kick him out. Something will have 2 give eventually that I know but again thanks 4 ur threads guys an I'm sorry 2 Richard if my situation seems 2 have hijacked ur discussion x



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