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Jamz_Jamie

This Poem I Wrote - Poetry Group

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Posted

Stitched up words
Crossed out in pain
I freeze
i fre-ee-ze
i fre-eee-e-ze
down the drain

i see that terified tear drip down your bruised face again
will irt be the pen shaped as a knife
or the drink to gain

"either way my love,, we've ended each day"

END

( i write poetry somtimes on the odd occasion) i know i cant spell very well, some of my poetry is bad, good, ot the best, i know there a lack of grammer but feel free to tell me what you think but please dont be too mean)
^^


Posted

I can't understand perfectly cuz I'm not native english speaker, but
I feel something really cold....hurted.....not in a happy mood, I guess


Posted

yes I see and feel pain here. Is it the sadness you see in a friend?
"or the drink to gain" does that mean drinking your sorrows away;
and the end part does it mean you have survived the day? and tomorrow is another day?
YOur english is fine just want to understand if I comprehended this correctly.
To me is sounds like yu are there for someone's pain and wonder will that person take more pain down the road.
tell me how close I came. I love discussing poetry.
Go find some of my poetry on the poetry discussion back logged by clicking the discussion tab and let me know if you found them. If you make a comment about them on them after you read them it will come to me in my e-mail.


Mickilus_Belcourt
Posted

hm


Posted

im not 100% sure what it's about i just write poetry and comes out like tht
i think its like at the end of the day of all the tears wht will it be at the end either way my love weve ended each daay is like weve eneded each day emotionally and mentelly i write lots of depressing poetry i dont know why im a genrelly happy person ^^
uhm well ya i think thts wht i meant by that poem i hope ive made it more clear


Posted

yea it may be your subconscious releasing all your pent up stress and maybe deep inside your not happy. Poetry is like a window that opens and you learn a bit about yourself. LIke as if you open that window and see a figure down below ,if you were sitting up in a two story window, imagining where your mind is taking you and you standing there thinking and out pops these feelings that come out from your mind not realizing,wow, okay I did not know I really felt that way until now, and you question yourself and to me its like a self analysis of your thoughts you never let out because you want to be accepted so you keep those deep feelings to yourself until. boom, there it is in written word and it makes you pause. I rewrite a ot of my poems because my thinking changes all the time. Or I will read something I have written and then write something else that may help me go deeper into my psyche and release any questions I may have. I answer my questions usually at the end of my poems too. It has also made me realize I am pretty complete and I have seen how I have grown because I date my poetry too.



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