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Antony_Terrance_Parker

How to meet friends/mates outside The Gay scene - Gay Guys! <3

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Antony_Terrance_Parker
Posted

I wonder if anyone else gets intimidated when they go into gay bars.I find i get looked up and down and get too nervous to speak to anyone and the ones i do speak to seem to be mental.Hence coming on this site.I wish there was a way of meeting out guys the way straight people meet each other ie in everyday life.The scene was all well and good when i was younger but now i dont want to get drunk and jump around to music that is so loud i cant talk to anyone.Shall i take an evening class?on the off chance i would make new gay friends.What do you think guys?The downside of this computer thing is not being able to make eye contact and only reading things in a certain way that depends on your state of mind.


Robert_Connors
Posted

yes Tarrance and you don't know if that is really the person in the pic


Antony_Terrance_Parker
Posted

No.....this isnt a real pic of me but as i teach kids i dont want them finding me on here.Can you imagin the shit i would get!


Posted

well this is me in the pic


Robert_Connors
Posted

yea that would not be a good thing my pic is me and me alone LOLI work on a horse farm in my spare time


Posted

Then is that your real name, Antony? Presumably they could find your name just as easily as the pic.
As for your question, it's a good one, one that I can't answer. Tho I've been in gay bars I've never been a bar guy (dont live very close to any anyway), but I'm terrible at meeting people and wish I could tell the gays from the rest on the street.


Robert_Connors
Posted

Eric/antony No I am not intimidated at all ! I walk in like I own the Place, that is why my ex BF went after me He asked the bar tender who I was and the bar tender told him he didn't have a chance in hell well I guess he did 8 yrs together but I 'am single now Do I have alittle bit of an attitude yes , cous I can. but I'm not boligerent I'm just me!!!!!!


Posted

Thursday, March 17th, 11, 18:50 Hrs. M.D.T.
Hi Group,
I'm in a Same Sex - Commonlaw Relationship. The Guy I Live With was Someone I Knew. I had NO Idea He Was Gay Till One Night I Was at a Gay
Bar with Some Associates, Look Across to See Him at the Door Talking to
the Door Guy of Sorts. Quite the Surprise.
I asked Him What he Was Doing etc, We Got to Know each Other Better and
Out of the Blue He Asked Me to Move In etc.Took Up the Offer Within a Month
of Sorts. That was 23 Years Ago. May Starts the 24th Yr of a Relationship.
Its Been an Interesting Trip.
Tnx Group,
Operater,


Robert_Connors
Posted

god bless you guys I never make it past 8 yrs friggg


Antony_Terrance_Parker
Posted

Yes Antony is my real name.Some good storys of meeting your boyfriends,any advice though?


Posted

Friday, March 18th, 11, 19:40 Hrs. M.D.T.
Hi Group,
Advice - It Varries Really. Guess the Important Thing is, Don't Rush It, B Open and Honest With Each Other, and B OUT as Well. Honesty Counts a Lot, Plus Respect for Values on Both Sides.
Just a few Tips,
Tnx Group,
Operater,


Will_Laggan
Posted

But what if I'm not out, and I don't wanna be. I just want a cool friend that feels the same way. It's pretty hard to meet a guy when I look and act totally straight...and I'm lookin for a guy that does too. I could be talkin to one, and the topic would never come up.


Posted

Sunday, March 20th, 11, 15:30 Hrs. M.D.T.
Hi Group,
4 Me, I Basically Pass as Straight Really. I don't Look Like a Gay Person etc, About the Only Time Others Really Know is If I Tell Them. Ok It Means Keeping My Gaydar on 24/7 but It Allows Me to ProtectMyself, My Interests and Still Have the Respect I'm Entitled to etc.
Just My Own Views,
Tnx Group,
Operater.


Will_Laggan
Posted

Ok...but how can ya meet a similar guy if your both acting straight?


Posted

Maybe you can't, except via the internet or bars. That's the point I guess, you have to be out for people to notice you. Or be really good at making eye contact and body language. (I guess, because I'm not good at these things at all.)


Robert_Connors
Posted

No u don't need to be out if u don't want to be and believe me if a guy is interested he will let u know I was in the closet for most of my life I don't flant the fact that I am gay but gaydare is there if u know what that means


Posted

If by gaydare you mean being daring, that's my weak point! And 2 guys who are not very daring will never make a connection if neither of them are visibly gay. I hate to think of how many hot guys I've walked past that I could have gotten involved with if only we had known.


Posted

Just 2 let u guy's kno, i do read your discussion's and alway's with interest. But i just want 2 let ye kno the reason i am not really involved is beacuse i live in Ireland and lot's of my friend's are on the other side if the world, America, Canada and so forth, so i am well asleep here while ye are having discussion's, but i do look forward 2 checking out the forum's here when i wake up. And i alway's get a lift 4 the day. So thank u guy's. I Love ye all.
Richard. xx


Posted

Gaydar = watch your back? as in your backside? haha

I wasnt sure of that either, I know what gaydar is (being able to tell who's gay) but gaydare sounds like being daring enough to try and find out if someone is. Unless it was just a typo.. But I'd give a lot to have either skill.


Benjamin_Tan
Posted

Anyhow If you do give out body language to others so they notice, bear in mind nowadays all the straight guys especially do know the signs as well. I'd say giving out body language is equivalent to coming out nowadays. Not to mention most of our little teenage friends would know the signs of one. So it's either come out or stay in the closet for the rest of your life and regret not meeting that guy. The only probable way is that an out and proud guy were to see you and approach you then you wouldn't have to worry too much about it. Otherwise it's very difficult to actually "meet that someone".


Will_Laggan
Posted

Ok......then I need to meet a cool out and proud guy.


Will_Laggan
Posted

But....don't out and proud guys get offended by closeted guys?


Robert_Connors
Posted

yes Will thats about it


Posted

The problem for me is I don't come across as gay [whether I'm out or closeted is not the question], nor do some other gay guys, and I can't just ASK someone if they're gay or I risk a knuckle sandwich, so my options are severely limited.



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