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Coming out of the Closet - Gay Guys! <3

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I'm 14 years old and I'm not out of the closet. All of my family and most of my friends are really homophobic. Only one of my friends knows that I'm gay. He is bi-sexual and isn't out of the closet either. I just don't know what I should do..


Dude, I know exactly what you are going through right now. I'm 16 and still not fully out. Only my friends know because I live in a really small country town that's filled with traditional homophobes and gay bashers. If you ever wanna talk or are looking for advice message me. I could also give you my email or cell number if you ever need help don't hesitate. You are not alone, EVER so always remember that


Thanks for sharing Ben. First off you are NOT alone in what you feel and think. It is possible your family is homophobic but you can't be sure. Remember that despite all a mother's love is everlasting. She MAY have a sense about it already in you. I was a bit older than you are but let me relate a story. I had a best friend who was 100% strate. We were both in out mid 20's and one nite for some unknown reason he made the comment if he had a GAY friend he would drop them. Well my heart sank. About 6 months later I was struggling to come out. He was closer to me than a brother. I was visiting him one evening and he knew something was bothering me. I told him I couln''t talk with him about it and started to leave. Well he shut the door to prevent me from leaving and said to me "If I can tell you what the problem is will you PLEASE come back in the living room and talk with me". I figured he had no idea. I said sure tell me. He looked me in the face and said " You are gay." I was holding back my tears and said " yes, I'll leave". Well he told me he had known for many years. When I reminded him of what he said he smiled and said" Not you. We are BEST friends. If I was just meeting you now it would be true but not now". Ben our friendship was even stronger after that. We were best friends for 31 years until he died at age 47 from complications from Diabetis. I gave the Eulogy at his Funeral Mass. To this day I miss him. So don't be so sure people don't know.
Now some advice. Come out when YOU are ready. Don't let anyone push you to make a decission until YOU and you alone are ready. And for God's sake NEVER let some nut job clergyman tell you that IF you are gay you will go to Hell. God loves us all inspite of who and what we are. I think He made us gay as a way to control population.
If I can be of help message me. But no matter what know you are a GOOD person and OK!
Good luck and I CARE!


Ben coming out at your age is hard. I know this because I was your age when I told my best friend.I thought he would not say anything because he talk about getting his dick suck all the time. Come to find out that he was the one who told everyone about me. Thats when family took me to a head dr to help me but of course it didn't work.I heard that I was going to hell if I didn't change and God hates gays.
I later learn that God loves you for who you are no matter what. There are groups out there that can help you in coming out if you need them..If you go to the group here on this site call "Teens Who Need to Talk" discussion "what your school is doing wrong" you will find different links that can help.. Jessica just post them the other day.I am group owner of it and you can be sure if you talk there no one will judge you and you will get help from ones your age like Josh.
If at anytime you feel that someone is saying the wrong thing to you please feel free to message me at anytime.If you have anything you need to talk about please feel free to message also.


hey, i was wondering if you guys could start following me on twitter because i am just trying to meet some new people...my twitter is @BigDumbJoe i just recently came out and am trying to get used to being open about my sexuality, thanks!


That's a beautiful story that you relate. I'm so sorry that your friend can't be around today to talk to.
My story is a bit different and follows up on some of the things others have said here. I copped the full wrath of the church and they told me a whole lot of stupid things that they reckoned would happen to me being a gay person. I had been married for some time and when that marriage was on the rocks, I told the minister of my church that I wanted to seek a homosexual relationship. He just about fell over. I was one of the organists there and he told me that I couldn't play there any longer "because it may affect the young children". I've never heard anything so ridiculous! However, it was the best thing that ever happened to me as it allowed me to stand back and take a look at what that church was all about.
Now, I'm not into religion but spirituality is very important to me. You and I are a part of God, how the hell can he reject himself? Ben, you are young and you are loved, and you will grow into the person that you want to be. I was 47 when I realised that I am gay, I think your journey will be a lot faster than mine.
Just as others have said also, message or email me if you want to talk.

Take care and it WILL work out.


Great 2 meet ya Ben, yeh lik the guy's say u will alway's hav friend's here 2 talk 2 untill u get a little older and u meet that special person, so talk 2 ppl here as there are lot's of guy's in the same position, hope u find this site a bit of a comfort 2 u D


Hey Ben, I know exactly what you are talking about. I first realized I was into men around the same age, but i fully came out at age 17 due to some nutheads in school who couldnt keep there mouth shut lol...but regardless I was scared to tell anyone but my friends. When i finally got the testicula, fortitude to actually tell my parents they sat back and said we already knew that son...One thing is your parents know you 100% they may not tell you but trust and believe they already know or they have a feeling about it. All i was told from my family was we still love you because in the end I am the one that has to answer to god. So thats what went on with me....but like many others on here said if you need to talk just email or sumthin and we'll help out


ALL of the above excellent advice. Imagine my ex's sister believes if she does not get him straight, SHE is going to hell. What guilt the church teaches. We `were together 16 years and best friends 15 years since. We have learned a lot in the past 15 years and our relationship just gets better.


Guilt and shame are what the church is good at. It's a means of control, that's all. I remember when I first came to realise that, it was as though I'd escaped from jail. Many of us have experienced 'hell', we know what it's like and nothing that the church can throw at us will scare us.


Not all chuch group are like that and remember God loves you for who you are not what people think of you..MCC church are for LGBT and Str8 people who just love God..


Hi Michael
I am familiar with the MCC church over here and they do a great job. I wasn't thinking of that group specifically, my apologies. I was just referring to some other mainstream churches who do not allow any form of sexuality in their door. I'm also speaking against man made religion, dogma and superstition. I love God too and He/She/It is very important to me also. A lot of us, possibly yourself too, have come through a time when church teachings were less than helpful and sent many a person to hell. That is what I speak against.
Go well.