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Anthea_Bee

Sexual preoccupation.. - Lesbian Ladies

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Anthea_Bee
Posted

Does anyone else kind of dislike that most (not all, most) lesbians on lesbian/gay websites or dating sites are so... sexual? It used to be very flattering but now that everyone and their mother says 'ur hot, lets hookup' it's more irritating than anything.

I go to these websites to meet friends/chat... Hopefully i'm not the only one? o-o


Mara_Copland
Posted

Yeah. Kind of how every personal ad on Craigslist is for FWB or sex.

And not friends/dating.


Posted

Yeah, that is really annoying.
What is also really annoying is the fact that lesbians are getting this rep as dirty creatures of sexual desire. Some of it is from fanatical preachers, I'll give them that, but most of it is from that stupid show 'The L word' (which if you don't know, is basically an HBO show about lesbians), shows like it, and the fact that we don't have a single goddamn thing in the mass media to prove them wrong (Ellen doesn't count, only people who look into it know she's a les). But it's getting so bad, I've talked with people both in reality and on the internet who firmly believe that all lesbians ever do is drink, sit there, and fuck each other. Sorry if I'm ranting, but it really gets on my nerves.
Maybe that has something to do with why lesbian dating sites are like that? Just a thought...


Mara_Copland
Posted

I'd never even thought about the L Word. (But I was always a QaF girl, myself.)

It makes sense. Lesbian dating sites seem to be frequented by straight/bi women looking for threesomes more and more. Or "I need someone to have fun with while my husband is away."

Ugh.


Posted

Yeah I'll have to agree with all of the above... I'm starting to find it rather difficult and annoying myself to have to find that right girl through an audience of women who flirt with me and say their the one but when we get to the topic about sex their true nature comes out its like... uhhhh... moving slowly this way... The L Word that's a great example. It portrays lesbians/bisexuals as horn dogs and drinkers who only care about themselves and their small world and not what goes around them. I can probably rant on here so much more and add to Brooklyn's paragraph but I think everyone gets the gist of it. So to answer your question Anthea no your not alone. I was going to write a similar topic like this but I sort of stopped myself because I thought it might create drama on this site or perhaps flamers upon my words. But because you did it for most of us you are a brave soul.


Posted

Hmm, I've always considered myself a bit of both. I love to flirt and be sexual with girls but only those I'm comfortable with. I hate, hate, hate when the girls come on to me without knowing me for two reasons: how could they be so arrogant/narcissistic to think I would jump into bed with them, and two, they just killed the thrill of the chase for me my favorite part of courting a woman.

And for some reason if I can't have a good conversation with a woman I feel that we probably wouldn't mesh in bed. Maybe because like to communicate.

Finally the thought of jumping into bed with a stranger makes me queasy and wonder how many other people has she been with, I know that prejudice or whatever, but frankly in this case I don't give a damn.


Mara_Copland
Posted

See, I could honestly give a shit if I have sex with someone. I've got way too many body issues, and I've had bad experiences with women before. So I'm happy to go down on my girlfriend (if I'd ever get one) but I'm perfectly happy finishing myself off. I'm just... not that way inclined, I guess.


Posted

i just like meeting new people and if there are some in my area we could go out clubbing or something but thats about it =/


Anthea_Bee
Posted

Yeah, i'm basically talking about people who only message you for some kind of sex act.
The kicker is, after you turn them down, they say 'whatever you're ugly anyway.' Lol. Makes them sound crazy desperate, you know?


Posted

Agreed I keep getting those myself on my end on this site... It makes me wonder sometimes if this site is only full of desperate, highly sexual lesbians/bisexuals. This can turn into a bigger forum or post if extended into an in depth topic.


jessicazylee
Posted

A lot of ppl take this website to be a cruising site. After receiving too many of those messages, I tried by putting up a picture of me and my boo. Didn't help... within the first hour I got messaged asking about a threesome....

but anyhow, it happens with many lgbtq events that aren't rights focused... it's an opportunity to meet ppl of the same orientation as you. I just say, ignore, and change what you are "looking for"


Posted

i think i just tune it out lol
i'm on gays for friendship, if anything comes from that, well that's life in the real world anyways.
i think some gays freak out bc they think there is no selection, so they get straight to the point on some things
but there are a few pervs on this site, i think we've all had our share of them
and i find that's what is hard about being a lesbian, men want in on the action
and some just don't get it! so they find ways to sneak in!
lol sry that's my rant XD


Anthea_Bee
Posted

No, no worries about ranting!
I'm basically here for the same; i've got emotional tunnel vision and i really don't want a relationship right now anyway. I don't want hookups, makeouts, etc. I hardly even want casual dating, to pass time if anything. I'm here for chatting, for friends, for networking.

I try my best to spot the fakes and flag them but i don't see a lot done, unfortunately. Ah well. x.x


jessicazylee
Posted

bah don't worry about it.
and on the men sneaking in on lesbians, i've got my hands full trying to keep my bf's frat from asking my soror sisters on "tips" on satisfying women. @_@


Posted

Lol! That last part made me giggle a bit. :P Yes I've run into sadly some perverts on this site but I do believe most of that have commented on this forum topic in general seem to want either the same thing as you Anthea or otherwise just friendship which is what most of us want. Woot! ^_^; Its just a matter of sorting out the rest as you say.


jessicazylee
Posted

it's frat full of wannabe dyke tykes... i kno my best friend was exchanging lesbian porn with my bf's best friend last I heard @___@ i've created a monster.

honestly i really do like the fact that u can indicate ur looking for pretty well on this site, as well as checking their feed for posts.


Posted

O_O everyone take off your knickers!

:S yeah jokes btw, it gets a bit much x


Posted

I initially signed up for friends, networking. Maybe casual dating. And maybe if I had some kind of sexual chemistry with someone, why not, but I like to get to know someone before I hop in bed with them.


Posted

sexual chemistry is ok for me, i've never had a kiss or a gf, but when the convo is literally sex 24/7 all the time, it gets to me and some girls like to use people just for sex and that's not what i like....


Rachel_Kind
Posted

I have said this time and time again, the world is turning into a massive addict attack. The most popular addiction excluding conventional drugs are
1. Sex/Pornography
2.Gambling
3. Shopping
4. Food

&gt too much of anything isn't good for you have people completely forgotten this?

I am as well extremely annoyed with the sex obsession and it saddens me that people don't want to get to know who I am ( I am sure a lot of you are feeling the same way) they just look at the outside and think "damn your hot lets get it on!"

Uh I need chemistry one and
two I feel that sex is one way to show your love for someone
LOVE NOT LUST
....if you don't think that way, that's fine but respect that I don't feel the same way and find someone else.


Posted

have you noticed there are a lot of frisky 16 yr olds about? thats not right they should be in their books


Rachel_Kind
Posted

yah they should but look at their role models...enough said


Posted

I mostly agree with you. an occasional one night stand can be fun but you definitely have to have chemistry. In the long run it's not enough. Eventually you will be cuddling with the girl you took home from the bar and look over at her and think, what am I doing? I want more than this. I want someone who will wake up with me in the morning and smile at me like I'm the most beautiful woman in the world and she never wants to leave. Someone who will cuddle with me when we watch movies together and shyly places her hand in mine with a sly smile on her face. Someone who when I look at her I can't take my eyes away because I think I'm dreaming and I don't want to wake up and find her gone. just my old fashioned side I guess.
But Teens usually settle down and grow out of this phase. That's why ever


Posted

everybody can start their own groups and conversations on here. If you want fun and aren't ready for a relationship you can say so and don't have to break someones heart.



Posted

'I have said this time and time again, the world is turning into a massive addict attack.'
Rachel Kind

Not turning its been like that for about 100 years. Ever since people could go and see movies and worship there idols. The world is speeding so fast now that its crazy. I've got this suspicion that young girls see girls kissing and making out on tv and think thats what they should do to.

Its like Katy Perry says:

'I kissed a girl just to try it, I hope my boyfriend don't mind it
It felt so wrong, it felt so right, don't mean I'm in love tonight
I kissed a girl and I liked it, I liked it.'

People don't want commitment any more they would rather just go from one person to the next just like going and buying a new phone.



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