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D.M_Barrera

Dresses - Lesbian Ladies

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D.M_Barrera
Posted

One of my good friends is getting married. Shes only having three bridesmaids, her two sisters and i... the problem is she looovveees pink, and the dress she picked is hot pink. I've never wore dresses, not even as a kid. I'm not hardcore bucht, but am not femenine at all. When she asked me to be her bridesmaid, she said "yu either wear it or yu get replaced."

Does anyone else get it? Its extremely hard for me to wear a dress.. specially a pink one, and if i dont i lose her friendship. (btw shes the sister of my ex...whos also pushing me to do this).

Do i give in? ....feels like betrayel to myself.
Do i back out? ....feels like i let her down.



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Posted

ok i feel for you i really do being that i hate all things pink and dresses. but...

if she's a good enough friend then yea swallow your pride and wear it.

but if not then tell her no way in hell you're gonna wear it and if she ends ya'll's friendship over it then she wasnt worth your time in the first place


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jessicazylee
Posted

It's her wedding, and it's her special day. And let's face it... lots of girls turn into bridezillas for the day, and it's all over afterwards. It's not like you are transgender and she's demanding you to conform into a gender that you are not identifying as. If it's really that big of an issue, you can speak to other bridesmaids, and hte maid of honor.


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Posted

i agree with jessica
it's her special day, i've had to do it, and so do many other ppl
if it means that much to her, and you care about you friendship, i'd do it
but ultimately, it's your choice. do you wanna remember a big fight over wearing a dress, for one day?
that's my opinion


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jessicazylee
Posted

lol, plus u can get back at ur wedding by making her wear some cowboy outfit? jk jk [btw did anyone see '21 dresses' i think is the movie name...]


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D.M_Barrera
Posted

Hey yu guys wanna erase those komments and say BE SELFISH! haha :/
man... i guess i'll suck it up.

She better wear a tux to mine lol


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Posted

lol that's a way of looking at it!

it's 27 dresses... i think :3 lol
i'm not sure though, i was working at a thearter when i came out, never saw it though.


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jessicazylee
Posted

ah hell yea. Every single one of my future bridesmaids who makes me wear something weird to their wedding, I'm gonna make them wear something weird to mine [and claim some made up Chinese tradition which they should be honored to do]. Otherwise, I'm just gonna go with a 'dress/suite code' with color scheme.


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jessicazylee
Posted

I just told my best friend that if she makes me wear something weird to her wedding, I'm gonna make her wear something that has half her ass falling out. She laughed and said she'll do a little dance with it. HA!

...well there is an Indian tradition where you ask a really good relative to dress up really weird and run around doing crazy stuff... grabs everyone's attention so the bride and groom don't get the evil eye. It's supposedly hard to do the evil eye if someone's dressed up as a half naked monkey clown at the wedding.


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D.M_Barrera
Posted

Tht sounds awesum! Make one wear somethin abstract.
Either way, i kant get back at her. She wont go to my wedding (when and if i marry) because she is doesn't accept homosexuality..


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Posted

:S


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jessicazylee
Posted

Hmm... while i'm not saying that all friendships have to be tit-for-tat, why wouldn't she want to support you at one of the joyful moments in your life? If it's religious, you can ask her if she would absent herself from the wedding of a friend who belonged to a different religion, or was atheist? How are the other bridesmaids feeling?


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jessicazylee
Posted

sorry i just went back and reread the other two bridesmaids are the bride's sisters. I personally still hold that, as it is her wedding, it's her day and as long as it isn't too over the top, let her have her day.

However, I might have a talk with her about at least tolerating [i hate that word so much] or understanding your sexual orientation. Not everyone belongs to the same mind set, and I somehow highly doubt everyone she interacts with belong to the same socioeconomic political religious groups. Marriage is more than just a joining of two people, it's also a joining of their family and friends. If she wont be a part of your wedding because of such a reason, she isn't going to be a part of such a joining.

Should I get married to my partner [the guy in the photo], there will have to be many compromises from everyone who attend. I'm a gay rights activist, so I have a gazillion LGBTQ friends. He active in groups that promote multiculturalism, so his friends are predominantly Latino and Black. My family is Buddhist, his is Hindu. We both met in University in Indiana, so we have a lot of Christian friends. I have some Mormon relatives. His best friend is Muslim. My best friends are Catholic, Jewish, and Wiccan. One of them is gender queer. We're both atheist!!

but i wouldn't have it any other way. except maybe elope because i know that's gonna be a mega-expensive wedding [the phrase "small wedding" is not in the Chinese, or Indian vocabulary..]


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D.M_Barrera
Posted

I have tried to talked to her (and her family) but they are Pentecostal...and the world would end before they accepted homosexuality. The funny thing is...the maid of honor is my ex.. Haha! If only the family knew, right?

She is a good friend, in every other way, except tht she doesnt accept homosexuality, and believes that when I meet the right man I will change. On the other hand, I'm atheist, and I find infinite flaws to her religion. I guess it works out? I dont mention her religion, and she doesnt mention my sexuality.

Pentecostals are very closed minded, even my ex (the maid of honor) is still like that...no wonder we didnt last. And while I still love her, she would rather live forever a lie than have her family turn on her.

That's religion..


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jessicazylee
Posted

I dunno, I think that's only certain followers of religions, and certain religions more than others. Nevertheless, that is sad. Wish you all the best


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D.M_Barrera
Posted

yes, and thanx


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Allegra_Covington
Posted

I agree with the other ladies here. It is her wedding day, and it would be the sweetest gesture for you to wear that dress just for her. If she would end the friendship over your NOT wearing it, don't bother because that isn't something to end the friendship over. You could also think of it as a costume, like Halloween or dress up ;] And just remind her that she has to wear the tux to your wedding!


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Posted

love it allegra pay backs a bitch


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Allegra_Covington
Posted

Lol I love weddings, and I kind of hope that I get to wear some of the gowns like in 27 Dresses. But then again, I am ultra femme and love playing dress up♥


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Posted

I'm kind of in the middle I like dressing up occasionally and I like looking nice and feeling sexy but I don't like feeling like a poodle or a barbie doll. I'm not sure what the difference is really but there is one. I bet you look adorable in a dress.


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jessicazylee
Posted

read above msgs, it's unlikely the bride will ever go to the original poster's wedding.


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Allegra_Covington
Posted

lol I am wearing a dress in my profile pic. And If she doesn't have a wedding, just have a day wear she just has to wear a tux for you.


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D.M_Barrera
Posted

Jessica is right. She won't.

Allegra she doesn't approve of homosexuality..she would never wear anything design for a guy because its against her religion.


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Allegra_Covington
Posted

Ah, I see. Pentecostal. Sorry, I'm Southern Baptist, and we are a bit more laid back lol. Well, whatever happens, I hope everything works out well for you. You seem like a wonderful friend, and I hope she realizes that ♥


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Posted

I had forgotten how strict pentacostals are. I had one as a friend in high school. she had to wear her hair long and wear a really long skirt all the time. She couldn't even wear jeans.


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