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Johnny_David

Does race play a role in the gay community?? - Gay Guys! <3

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Posted

Recently a guy posted an discussion over the questions about asians. It got me to thinking. What ,or how much of a role if any,does race play in the gay community. Personally when I lived in Germany I was treated as someone special. Not only was I an ex-GI,but I was black,and they love black people in Germany,atleast they did at one time. Russia is the same.

But what I see in my home land is totally different. We are so racially divided that even in the gay community there are differences. Haven't we seen enough prejudice to relise that it makes no sense? Sure there are are cultural differences,but aren't we understanding enough,and grown enough to understand culture? Still we live by the teaching of our parents. What I'm trying to say is that I still see racisim in our community. That makes us no better than the rest. So when people protest against us,just what is our defense? The,"We are just as human as you" defense is weak. We have to show the rest of the world that we are not the prejudice,hating,"my culture doesn't except your culture" type of people.We have to be the exception.

We should listen to the words of John lennon,and really give peace a chance.But even here on this site I see indifferences. I pride myself in not discrimminating. I don't care what you are,you can be an alien,as long as you fit my fantasy(Yes i do have a preference,young and skinny),but we all do,so don't try to tell me you don't. But answer me this. Why don't chinese guys,or japanese guys like black guys? I'll admit that hiphop shit,and wearing your pants to the floor and speaking ebonics turns me off just the same,but is that an excuse? Yeah maybe cause I can't stand that shit either. Still i think it is important not to say,"oh he's black,or he's white,or oh he's latin,or whatever. We are all gay,and we will have our indifferences,but it shouldn't be becuase of race or culture. It should be becuase you just don't like someones persona

Sorry.

Just venting.


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Will_Xavier
Posted

Just venting is a good thing Johnny. And... you make some valid points. Like you I do not discriminate - I like anybody that is reasonably good looking and takes care of themselves - yes I like 'em young and slim too, but older is cool too 'if you take care of yourself.'

Racism is a product of upbringing, the teachings of our families and friends, co-workers, drinking buddies and don't forget propaganda. An individual's perspective on life around them is a work in progress which gets thwarted from a kinder view by the people and events surrounding them.

I had a good friend who was one of the most giving, understanding people I ever knew, I was astounded one day over lunch when he started ranting against the Hassidim in Brooklyn. He lost several big real estate deals because a couple of Hassids bought the properties from under his client. That happened long before, but henceforth he held a grudge against the entire community. It' wasn't rational but for him that's all it took to hate 'em all.

I would wager that many who demonstrate racism, when probed would reveal such an event in their past that led to their condemning the whole group.

I agree that we in the gay community need to stand for something else - we 'all' should be better than that. Our struggle is tough enough with the extra baggage of reverse hatred.


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Posted

Guys I didn't post this discussion that often,and I didn't know that it was showing up so often. Sorry,Don't mean to be a bother.


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Posted

Will.

I understand,but i ask myself. I went to highshcool in Brooklyn,(Newutrecht high),at that time it was bussing. You bussed the black kids to white schools,and visa-vera.More black kids were bussed than visa-versa,and with all that I went through,I should be hating white people,and with all I was tought,I should be hating white people,but I never did. I was always wondering why the hate?

Till this day i wonder,but now I realise that it's religion,and parental upbringing. Those are the two major things. Religion tells you that being gay is wrong. "Man shale not lie with another man". All this bullshit. And you're right. For many it doesn't take but for one incident to happen,and then all the sudden the that whole race is responsible. It sucks.

Thanks Will

Your cool.


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Antony_Terrance_Parker
Posted

I cant help feeling disapointed with all these vast generalisations.Surely in the gay community we live with steriotypes and can prejudge anyone who does not fit the mould.Older guys ,bigger guys,camp,bears etc. are one of the questions on this site even.I dont go out that much on the scene anymore because of this judgmental attitude.I have met guys who are good looking on the outside and ugly on the inside and visa versa.Which is more important.I dont think its a race issue i think its shallow two dimentional thinking that is the problem across the board.Surely statements like chiniese/japanese guys dont fancy black guys are racist themselves.I think the best thing is not to deal with labels at all be it gay,bear,black white etc and just be yourself and be proud of it.


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Posted

I'm a chinese guy and I don't hate blacks. If a person has the facial features and the body, I'll definitely go out with him.

Hmm.. in the Philippines, most people think that if you're light-skinned, you're beautiful, and I guess that's why they prefer lighter-skinned people like the Chinese or Japanese or the Caucasians. It's a product of brainwashing by the media, with the emphasis on skin whitening products and associating that with beauty (via a celebrity, who's not even pure Filipino or Asian). You can also blame, in part, religion because of the association of the color black to evil and white to good. But really, if you think about it, that association is stupid; colors are not "good or evil", they're just colors!

And yeah, it's one thing I don't get about America. I've had a friend before who's half-white and half-black, and she was telling about her experiences of being discriminated by BOTH groups. What's with skin color anyway? And isn't America suppose to be the land of equal opportunities and great rewards? Is it because racism is something that's ingrained in American history, and thus, in culture?


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Posted

Yes, race awareness is ingrained in American culture - the constitution defines blacks as three fifths of a person. We have made some progress but wew are not colorblind. In the gay community I think Terrance has it exactly correct for far too many of us. My first lover was Black-Chinese -Wihte he was a pediatric neurologist, head of medicine, medical education, and infectious. When he was dying from AIDS he told me he was always so afraid that folks would know he was black, but that he had grown and was finally proudest of his mixed ancestry.


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Antony_Terrance_Parker
Posted

Interesting,i did not know that about America.Now you have a black president? When he got in we all celebrated in my corner of England.Also you have a far greater Black Culture.Surely its the mix of all that makes America what it is.After all America has a very short history so everyone exept red indians are imegrants.Yes?No?A short history compared to us and we have records of black people here dating back to the 14th century.


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Posted

I would like to see every one get along with all gays. I do like some points that every one said but lets look after every one ok.


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Sam_Barker
Posted

Sounds wonderful but in my experience there are just some people you are going to out live to see prejudice really do away. In my life it seems best to stand up for what you believe in but hang around people of like mind, if you enjoy peace and happiness. Remember there are lots of countries where gay is illegal and I have no idea when that will really .I feel somehow each one of is making a difference but it will be slow. Personally I am one of those who looks inside for whom I really want to be with


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Posted

Antony made a great. America is a land of immigrants,unfortunitly many people,and even with the arrival of a black president,still have this inside of them that personally I don't understand. Like Sam I too look on the inside of a person. He's also right when he says that we may not se real unity in our lifetimes.


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Posted

Did I sound racist? I like to think I have an open mind. I didn't mean that |I only datw a guy that is Asian. The ones that i've gotten along with and am still friendliest with have mostly been asian so I do hav a fondness for them. My best gay friend is actually a white guy htat I dated for a few weeks util we found out how alike we are . We have been great friends ever since. Ive also dated some really nice native guys. I noew find that twinks kind of annoy me. I look alot but they intimidate me because I'm over 40 and skinny jeans arebutt a memory for me. I just wondered off topic I think.


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Posted

Funny,but do you mean that you don't like twinks because you don't have a twenty eight waist,lol?


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Will_Xavier
Posted

Yes we are a land of immigrants, and it is that, that gives this country one of it's greatest assets - diversity. One point I left out earlier however, that I was reminded of while reading everyones responses is that this country's history is that of tyranny.

How the government and certain industries [especially cotton, tobacco and the railroads] utilized specific immigrant groups to achieve their goals cannot be overlooked as a prevailing cause for the hate and/or disdain people express for individual cultural, racial groups. And as a growing nation what we did to the native population was practically genocide.

Yet despite all this it's taught in our schools simply as the cost of doing business. A necessary evil for the greater good.

I agree with the general sentiment here that we, as individuals have to strive to make the difference - tolerate not violate, progression not regression.


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Antony_Terrance_Parker
Posted

Wow,am on the point of giving a history lesson but i have been thinking about it.I think the only reason anyone may feel prejudice against an ethnic group is because they dont feel secure with there own cultural identity.Just like these guys who are homophobic and are really gay themselves,a defence mechanism.We are lucky as gay men to be able to be ourselves in our own nations.I now hope fora less judgemntal attitude that we have towards each other.Yes look within but also look within others it should not all be about the way we look.In a way i loved all the attention i got when i was in my early twentys but i love my brain in my early 40s.....


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Posted

That's very true in a way,but if you look at such radical groups as for example,white serpremisist,they feel that so-called minorities are stealing jobs. For example the implamation of affirmative action caused a stir with many of these fascist groups. Then on the other side you have many blacks that still feel that the white race is in someway holding them down. So it gets a bit complicated. One thing is for sure in my mind. This form of thinking is nothing less than distructive. Look at prison for example. Guys in prison for the most part form groups,or gangs that only intail their own race. many say they aren't prejudice,but have no choice in the matter if they want to stay alive.

I once met a guy that hated black people because he was robbed by one,and therefore blamed the entire race. Funny enough he got along with me.

And also,turning to something Antony said. I would never want to be twenty again. I'm happy with my age,and with my brain.


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Will_Xavier
Posted

History as I outlined it is only a "part" of the package behind what makes a racist today - and the other parts are pretty well listed in this thread too - the real point that has been made is that we remain true to ourselves and deliver a message of greater equality and tolerance by the example we offer.

Slightly off-topic, but relevant to the core of this conversation is an article in todays NY Times: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/29/nyregion/29asylum.html?ref=nyregion - discussing one of the latest means of obtaining asylum in the United States, intolerance of your sexual orientation in other countries.

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Will_Xavier
Posted

And here's another interesting article - again not entirely specific to the the thread [my apologies] but 'race' is a huge issue to say the least, sometime the more information we have the better the conversation.... http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/30/us/30mixed.html?_r=1&ref=us This article discusses the trend of younger Americans to cross-identify themselves as being members of 2 or more racial groups, rather than the "1 size fits all" mentality of most demographic questions.

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Posted

Is stating a preference a form of rasism? Not a new topic just a question. Yeah Johnny for the most part its because 28 waist is a very distant memory though the guy I'm seeing might be a 28. The good thing is no dicky-do. God am I sounding vain..I probably think the song is about me*lol*


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