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Samuel_E._D._Washington

Broken Wings - Poetry Group

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Samuel_E._D._Washington
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This is a poem i wrote in one of my darkest times. It's kinda different from most poetry i have read and possibly difficult to follow, but here it is:

Riding on broken wings, shattered hopes, dejected dreams, all is without hope, all without dream. Picture after picture, scene after scene, fire, death, agony, that’s what this Hell brings; nothing but dirt I am demeaned. I am falling. Trapped these chains seem exceedingly tough, it’s too much; this torment is a blazing rush. The clutch breaks, I fall, no cushion, no protection, no crutch; the burn I touch. Burned they are. Into darkness I am brought, no relief, no expectations in belief of hope impending, a future non-ending; too many notions overwhelming my emotions, resulting in this unending doom of the inferno loom, a treacherous tomb. Doomed I am. Every step I take, in every move I make, one foot forward, two feet back, barely above water awake. Like leaves, I am rigorously raked, in water, fiery flaked; under the sun, burning baked. Nothing makes sense, no, nothing at all. This darkness, it encompasses me. It consumes, prunes, it’s destroying me; my heart severed. It taunts, haunts, it’s killing me; my heart bleeds. Crying out loud, it’s within me; my heart, inside and out, filled with it. They are broken. This journey, an impossible feat, an inevitable defeat, yet, I continue, weak. No turning back, my past has leaked; ahead, my future bleak. I am at the peak, no peek, unaware of what to seek. Cut asunder they are. No place to call home, an entity falls, lost in the darkness of it all. This mountain tall, my fall caused; it’s an unbreakable wall, stalling my progress down this hall. It is here that I fall. I just can’t fly. These dreams, horrid demeaned, maximum mean into me brings, scene of despair, torture, and pain unseen, hope is not seen. Falling I am. Much is tough, roughly clutched into such I am crushed, on crutch not, rushing into this flame’s touch; it huffs, puffs, bringing me into such. They are burnt. Do you not understand, this stand, handed to the inevitable falling man, quicksand in on this land demanded, heading me rather into the hand of hell’s command, fan not in this hot desert land. I am doomed. In this flaming lake I am taken, into a soulless creature make, to bake, into this scorching quake, flakes of fire and brimstone raked, only if fake it were. Nothing at all makes sense, no, nothing. Ash I have become, bashed, dashed by this darkness’s grasp, in me flashes. Crashed here, it rashes, trashes me, me charred hash. Broken they are. My defeat in hell’s seat, no feat, my feet in singed beat; bliss leak, I am on a cosmic seek, but everything is bleak. They are cut asunder. This calling, failure an inevitable falling, all in this darkness tall, walled, stalled I am. Fly, I just can’t. This tale, my path derailed, is a pail life tragically misspelled.


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Wo!!! Bro! that was intense! YOur life was melting like lava the melts everything from a volcano. You were feeling everything was turning into cinders and you were going under.
Hopefully these feelings have passed and your days are a bit brighter now even in this cold winter we are having I find there is still beauty we can find in a miserable day of life when you feel nothing but strife.
Been there many times Samuel- Do you have any cheerful poems when you are feeling good or any that you have been touched by something like a movie, or someone you know that has left you thinking?


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Samuel_E._D._Washington
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Not really...seemingly i haven't been able to write any cheerful poetry. I think I am going to try starting again though. But the majority of the other poems i have written were lost to a computer malfunction so i am still trying to remember them and continue writing. at the moment my novel writing has been proceeding that though.


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good luck with the novel. I write all kinds of poetry but mostly they are philisophical kinds of poetry. Wether it starts out angry or sad I always try to answer my own questions in the end. Then some of them are just down right angry with issues like war, unemployment and so on. I had more poems in my youth about love and some of the frustrations of love whether it be with family or someone you have a relationship with. The earliest poems I wrote in the 70's were very romantic.
I had 3 poems published and I got around the excessive cost by going with the strict format that was required and only had to pay a small fee. I did not like having to chop my poems in third to fit the criterea though but I did get them published.
I still work on my poetry from time to time and now at the age of 55 my thinking has completely changed from events in my life and also the struggles.
I have days I feel like giving up on the world and life. All my dreams have been crushed one way or another and some no fault of my own. Just circumstances mostly and then I figure another way to survive and my future seems quite bleak like many who have been unemployed for a long time and write many poems about my feelings and then try to lift up myself in the end but today is not one of those days where my depression has set in.


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Samuel_E._D._Washington
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thnx....really, congrats...i would like to read them.
I understand you completely...at this point in time i have practically given up on the world and am merely finding ways to maintain my sanity as long as i can. Thus the reason why i haven't really been able to write any happy poetry. And even my friends realize that underneath all my laughing and joking I am really very much so depressed and if i wasn't a puss would have so already killed myself so as not to be in existence....but manage to be a gleaming light of hope even though i would prefer not too.


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thats all we can do Sam- is it okay to call you Sam? Not to lose hope we al are going through hard times but then I think of those poor starving children in Africa who never asked to be born and I say to myself in my deepest hour God give me the strength and wisdom to figure out my difficulties and give me a reason to go on and some how I find it.
I have some poems I have put on the poem group and I will submit another one soon. Go check them out.


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Samuel_E._D._Washington
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yeah its fine to call me Sam or any other name for that matter. indeed that is true. i do the same and look on the brighter side...just a lot of the times i wish i didnt...ok, i'll go read them


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Samuel_E._D._Washington
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Just wrote this: The darkness at bay I keep, lantern in hand, so that you will never know or feel the horror from it which sips. My rod, constantly with me, i wage war against it and inside me buried i keep it. All the pain, myself i carry, as it slowly destroys me, so that you may never have to know what is disdain, rather what is merry, all the while from within me it slowly but surely kills me.

Also i read your poems, haven't wrote anything done yet, way too busy and still looking for the words, but i like them.


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You are just so heavy man! With those deep dark feelings of your pain.
Mental anguish can be exhausting.


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Samuel_E._D._Washington
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Oh it is most definitely...in class today which I am not even supposed to be doing seeing as though in the military they shun it, I wrote three more:

My Time

Oh how I long for Death to me find but it cannot or just will not as if its not my time or as if this is my perpetual punishment unwind to destroy my mind. Too strong is my mind, however, for its own good that me it binds, that it keeps me from crossing that line which i so eagerly await for to unwind the time, to take me from this staled time. So instead i lie here awake buying my time until Death I find or until Death destroys my mind, which ever one comes first to unbind me from the physical barriers of my mind.

Death Sought

My true state desired, sought, from these binds which chain, wrought, though Death I constantly buy as if this I have not already bought. For if by Death caught I can finally into such a state be brought, for I grow tired of my many battles fought and continually fought, and for what, nought? A reward sought that will never be brought unto the likes of me so I think I'ld rather receive Death, something I know that through the years I have wrought unto me

The Fun Game

From joy, happiness, and love I am refrained and instead much remorse, pain, and disdain is given to me for this is the name of this game. The main rule is a simple and plain one and to be good at this game all you must do is not restrain yourself from causing to others affliction, problems, and pain, especially to me as I am at the center of this game. But the main goal of this game, yet to be disclosed, is to unto yourself gain glorified fame by succeeding in showing me much disdain, pain, and anything and everything to cause me to go insane. Extra credit is gained when you have caused me so much pain that I end my life right there, my body in left lane left slain.

As you see the mental anguish just begins...


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So are you in the military?
If you are - the way I am interpeting your feelings- if that is the case- is I see that you think about death because you are or will be putting your life on the line and what I saw in your poetry you just wrote here - the 3 short ones above-
that :
Time: You don't feel it is your time to die yet as you are young and strong. But if death does catch you at your prime you lose your body- and mind. But you also worry will you lose your mind before something kills your body.

Death Sought: NOw this definitely reminds me of a soldier and what can go through his mind while fighting a battles and he questions is his life really worth losing for a cause he is not totally sure of and what is the true reward for all the battles he has fought but sweet death to drown the demons of all the battles you have fought in your head and on foreign soul. Especially when our men come home and cannot get the support from the government that employed them for the injuries they sustain in battle. I wrote a poem I will submit to everyone in another discussion about war and how I have seen it in many different perpsectives. From movies, soldiers I have spoken to and a family member that changed him into something terrible because his psyche was changed for ever.
okay and the last one:
The Fun Game: This one can also be interpeted as a soldier at war. That you are trained not to show emotion but due your duty, become a hero maybe along the way and feel proud to be an American but the toll it takes on the human mind and soul leaves you slain inside maybe wether your truly physically dead or not.
Look for a "war torn life" and "I love you tommorrow" two poems about war in a new discussion on the poems group.


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Samuel_E._D._Washington
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Even though when i wrote them i wasn't just referring to my being in the military, you are pretty much on point with your observation. My being in the military does however makes those pre-existing feelings more prominent


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