Jump to content

Untitled - Poetry Group

Recommended Posts


did you know she's dying right before your eyes??
did you know the words spoken are lies??
did you know at night its blood she cries??
did you know about all the attempts she's tried??

the bright red crimson streaks
that flows down her cheeks
they have been there for weeks
finally she's at her peak

the point where there is no right or wrong
singing a tuneless song
disappearing in the throngs
of the crowds that follow along

smiling a smile for the world to see
chained by wrist...bound by feet
never once been set free
waiting for death like a piece of meat

dying internally from a illness which has no cure

Share this post

Link to post

That is an incredible decription of unendurable pain. I hope it is metaphoric and not real. if it is real, I hope you are seeking help.

Share this post

Link to post

Wow - very deep - I have witnessed dying as I was in medical profession for a a long time.
Many people have no one when they are dying and they rely on the medical to comfort them.
Some die alone-
This is where I feel what you are saying.
That we are such a small piece of the universe. Like an ant in the world and we can feel so lonely and feel desperation that we don't matter.
But I feel to God we matter as we all were part of that miracle of life.
Bound by chains I believe your are saying we are like prisoners to our own demise. Death is not pretty however I believe we have to find love -in ourselves
and as we are laying there for the finally hour finding peace is so much easier and painless as you soak into your spirit with acceptance waiting for that final moment. I saw my brother dy and he loved life so much but he fought with a vengence because he did not accept the evitable. I want to learn from this and hopefully when it is time- even though it is our human nature to fight- to find that peace to release the pain and find peace before I die.
I almost died once but I was injured- so everything was like I was in a spiritual domain. I could see but I could not hear and everything was in slow motion. When reality hit me back in the face- God I fought so hard and realized I still wanted to live and that I could survive. Then I spent 2 years in somewhat limbo state not knowing what I wanted to do for the rest of the struggles I will have to live with as I cannot do the things I used to. I had to learn to accept and I am still figuring out how to survive until my time comes again.
Here is a poem I wrote I would like to share:

"The Spirit Sees"

The Spirit looked out
And into the night,
Floating in a vanishing flight,
Watching those in mourning,
Standing like willow trees,
With hearts drowning,
And sorrow sticking to the breeze.

Sad condolences,
Found their way,
To dazed and bewildered minds,
Helping each other,
Find peace in their hearts.

No one is ever prepared,
Even when they know,
God is planning and close at hand,
Justifying the cycle of life,
Of our poor saddened souls,
Having mercy,
Saying prayers,
For the spirits that we hold.

Transition is felt in the air,
For a moment;
Even birds are seen,
With more clarity,
Then ever before,
And the Anguish falls down,
Upon our heads,
And the world disappears.

As we comfort each other,
The wind takes a different direction,
And for a moment,
The chaos in our minds,
Settles down,
As we say our prayers.

The Spirit surrounds us,
Caressing us with love,
To help us move forward,
Mending our broken hearts.
The tears dry around our face,
To clear the sadness,
From the dungeons of our souls,
Finding renewed strength,
As each day goes.

Let us walk proud
With a tranquil grace,
Send a gentle smile,
To the Spirit,
We feel and embrace,
Bid a welcome goodbye,
To a higher place,
Where no pain shall dwell,
And with peace and happiness,
We give to our loved one,
Lifts the Spirit with Love,
And heavenly grace.

Jeanie Rose 7-27-01

Share this post

Link to post


I really like this, again. I get your style, because I think it similar to my own. So, it is always easy to "hear" the poetry in my head, if that makes any sense. Anyhow, I totally relate to this poem. It reminds me a lot of where I was when I was a little younger. Struggling really intensely with my depression and anxiety, feeling very doomed, very much like I was slipping away.

I've had the good fortune of being able to control a lot of that depression since then and it's been a while since I've been to that dark a place for an extended period of time, but I can still feel it hovering right over my shoulder. You captured all of it very well. All the facets of what it feels like to be in that deep dark place.

Jeanie, I also like your poem. I like it a lot. I could critique it if I tried really hard. I'm not sure what exactly it is, but there is something about the third stanza that makes me stutter and stumble a little when reading the poem. Or maybe it's the difference of point of view from the end of the 2nd stanza where you use the word "their" making the previous part of the poem 3rd person, and then the 3rd stanza switches to 1st person. Other than the slight shift in pov, it is very well written. I really like the ideas behind it.

Share this post

Link to post