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tell me what u all think about what i wrote - Poetry Group

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Posted

I am the bloody razor.

I am the deathly pill.

I am the bottle of pure poison;

That you would dare not spill.



I am the loaded gun.

I am the knotted noose.

I am the knot tied to the beam;

That you prayed would not come loose.



I am the bottle of tiny pills.

I am the bottle of whiskey.

I am the mixture of the two;

That you know is just too risky.



I am the brakes you purposely cut.

I am the tires to which you did the same.

I am the bloody mess on the road;

And the ambulance that never came.



I am the multiple suicide attempts.

I am the painful depression.

I am the product of great loneliness;

And of 20 years of oppression.



I am the pain, the hurt, and the anger.

I am the loneliness.

I am the desperate teenage girl;

Whose life was a complete mess


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Erin_M_Ballantine
Posted

love this. not much else to say, besides i like it. i like that it goes to such dark places, but ends with a little glimmer of hope when the mess is referred to in past tense; an implication that there is indeed something beyond.


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Posted

Omg.....this is SSSOOOO deep, I LOVE IT...you just inspired me to write another poem


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Posted

what could have been, what might have been.The frightening past.The Horrid statistics. What was, can now be a brighter future.


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Posted

I like it as it has a lot of truth to it. We all have our demons- but we all must find joy somewhere in life as God intended. It is good to be knowledgeable of the dark side of your being and of life but finding joy in the simple things even if its just a blade of grass can change your thinking. No blades of grass don't turn me on just giving an example of simple. It is easy to over think things too which can cause despair. I have been there many times but my poetry speaks of redemption too. To see the full circle of life.


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Posted

Here is one of my poems: Hope it all fits..

“Refocusing”

Sitting outside in the rain,
Images flow freely,
As the anguish of defeat
Brings rivers of tears
That well up in your eyes.

Reflecting on your own existence,
As the rain runs down your face,
You see distorted images of everything,
And feel out of place.
Your brain is in overload,
Flustered at the struggles,
Of everyday life;
Hopelessness seeps in like a fog,
Strangling any positive thoughts.

As you reflect,
And give in to the misery of life,
Questions pop up in your brain,
And the salty rain of tears,
Dry on your bewildered face.

You say to yourself,
Why do I go on
When I will end up in one place?
As you look up to see the sun,
Peering through the cloud,
Seeking answers to your grief.

You must open you heart,
And rest your wondering mind,
Accept the challenge,
That life is really hard.
When you can see,
The peace you have within you,
The struggles fall away,
And your confidence unfolds,
Like a slow moving wave.

As you leave sorrow,
Fall away like a flower petal into the glistening sun,
You recapture what life has taught you,
By reflecting the lessons that you have learned.

We do have angels around us;
They are the friend’s who care,
They are the eyes of eagles
And minds of the hawks,
They see our future and our thoughts,
They are the loved one’s who have passed before us,
And caress us in their love.

Catch a flattering glimpse,
Of the joys that are around us.
And with wisdom,
Horizons open up and teach us,
Giving us fresh ideas,
As each day unfolds,
Helping us to refocus,
Of what life has in store,
Because we decided,
Of how it’s to be told.

Rejoice in our discovers,
When we have those better days,
Envision a future,
Taken from the walls,
That were broken down,
And the flow of truth,
Will bring us around,
So we can be happy again,
From the peace we have found.



Jeanie Rose
7-18-07


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