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Johnny_David

On the down low. - Gay Guys! <3

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Posted

I don't know about you,but I don't get out much,so I find myself looking for sex and love on sites like this and on craigslist,but I've noticed one thing about craigslist. Most of the guys are undercover,or on the down low. They either have girlfriends,or even consider themselves not to be gay,or bi-sexual. They use the word "Bi-curious",which I refuse to believe in.

Sure at a younger age you may experiment because you aren't really sure of your true sexual idenity,but I find most of these guys to be in denial. They are afraid of what friends and family may think. When i came out i went through a lot of hell,but I also found out who my true friends were. So is craigslist just for those guys on the so-called "Down low"?,and why put yourself through that?. Another thing I find is that it's hard to trust a person on the down-low because you don't know where they've been. I mean if a guy has sex with his girlfriend,or girl friends,then I'm pretty sure he's not safe. These are the type of guys you see on the Maury show claiming the baby isn't theirs...

I just needed to vent a little.

Thanks.


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Will_Xavier
Posted

Venting is good, healthy and sometimes right on! On the down low is for guys who have not faced what it is they are - they know what they like - but can't look in the mirror and say it out loud that they are gay. Oh and bi-curious, right with you... I mean what the hell is that?

Many years ago I was still married, having dinner with a then very well known gay activist who had been in the forefront of the gay scene in NY for 30 years. He asked who I thought i was, and I replied "I'm Bi". he said "...really? Let me tell you something that is God's Honest Truth, there is no such thing, there is straight and gay, if you think you're something else, you're not thinking about it at all. One day you will wake up and decide for yourself...... then call me and tell me what you decided."


He's gone now, sadly, but he was right, I'm convinced of it. Despite having been married, and even fathering a child, there is no question in the very fiber that I am gay


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Posted

Good for you Will,and sorry to hear about the gay activist. We need more people like him to simply come out and just say it. You're also right in my opinion that there is really no such thing as Bi-curious,or even bi-sexual. I think it's an excuse to not accpt the real you. These people have given themselves the choice of saying,"yes I am,or no I'm not" when they feel like being gay they are,but only to themselves,for everybody else they are straight.

I'll admit that at work no one knows about my sexuality,but that's because I don't consider them friends,but just colleagues,but to the rest of the world I am openly gay and proud of it. It took three suicide attempts to come to that conclusion.


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Will_Xavier
Posted

Wow, ya see that, total strangers sometimes have more in common than long term friends, ha! I too have been down that dark road when doubt overruled common sense. When I woke up from that time , something I was not expecting to do, I was a changed man - new purpose, new resolve - I'm broke, but content!


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Tommy_Storey
Posted

Hello, Will,and Johnny,

I class my self as being BI-,

In fact, i would say, that i am more, STRAIGHT than GAY.

Would you say,that i am in, DENIAL, then ??.


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Posted

I've known guys that were married,have children and have lived with their wifes for years. I have a friend that comes here on occasion to have fun who lives with his girlfriend. I know a woman who was in a lesbien relationship,now she only dates guys. It's a fact that our society is changing and that many things are accepted,some more than others. I feel that calling oneself Bi is probably accepted more than calling onself gay. So the question of denial becomes harder to answer. Do i feel that you are being completely honest with youself,no.Now that being said,I once had fun with a guy that said that he would have sex with anything that walked. He became aroused at the sight of a naked body.

Remember,years ago being gay was called a sickness,and that one was most likely mentally unstable. Things have changed,and a persons sexuality is up to the indivisual,but I do still believe that you are either one or the other,and anything inbetween is just not wanting to confront what it is you may be. I also feel like I stated before that being Bi,or Bi-curious is giving onself the freedom of going one way or the other. Now if that is your thing more power to you,but I feel that eventually you have to make a choice.

Live your life anyway you feel free dude.


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Will_Xavier
Posted

Well said


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Paul_Walker_47746
Posted

I think its all in the person. I have ah gf but i love cock and sexxy guys that know how to use one


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Posted

Nothing wrong with that, but are you gay,straight,or Bi?


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Tommy_Storey
Posted

Hi,again,Johnny,
I have been away.

I just, want to thank you, for all your,well, constructed,comment`s,about if you
think, if i am in, DENIAL, (or not ).

Yes i do feel free, and the best person,who i know,and, the best person
who i get on with,the most, is, beleave it or not, is, ME.

Thank`s Again, Johnny.


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Janian_Nenanivik
Posted

for years i lived in secrete i struggled with the stygmatism that people place on you for being gay. i went through the whole maybe god will heal you thing. no!! last year, i was on the brink of suicide the depression was killing me. It' s bes tjust to face who you are. and decide to love it that set's you free. I chose to be gay as i'm motre attracted to guys than girls. a lot more! i feel much more at peace with that . As far as people being bi-sexual, if your equally attracted to both sexes, and sure about it,[ maybe some have to experiment to find out] then for me you are. please don't pick on those who identify that way .comming to that decision is hard enough.Sme probably use that as an excuse becuase it's just easier for them,but i don't feel every one does. but everyone is allowed their own opinion of course. lets just not pik on them. o.k? love in fiercness, scott. have a great holliday. good to see a good arguement going.


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Posted

No one is picking on anybody scott,but we all have our own opinions. Personally I could care less what one does,but I do have an opinion.


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Janian_Nenanivik
Posted

Not trying to offend you personally , but people do pick on people for this.I don't deny you your op. it's your right of course.i wouldn't deny you that. I've been on the bad end of many self centerd "FREESPEACH" arguements:; as i i have the right to say what i want but keep yuor opinion to your self. I actually enjoyed reading everyones ' comments. keep this up .it's good. btw. bleesings to you no hard feelings i hope. I have nothing against you.love in fierceness, scott


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Posted

None at all Scott. I love to hear,(or read), what people think and feel. And I hope you enjoy the hoilidays.


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Will_Xavier
Posted

Yes gentlemen it's the force of such forums that let us express ourselves, maybe share some ideas, popular or otherwise and as long we not deliberately trying to insult another, let the banter roll.

Scott I know much of what you have experienced... like I said earlier I was married; for over 20 years before I allowed my self to reconsider my 'orientation'. I was with a guy before my first girl - but social pressures and the like played a big part in my burying that 'gay' experience and pursuing the 'norm'. What did that get me? A lot of inner misery for years, and attempted suicide was not the least of it. Now I look back and it's almost laughable because now at least I feel whole.

Happy Holidays everyone..... and give a stranger a smile!


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Posted

Remember guys. Life is a ministronie,served up with parminson cheese, death is a cold lasangna,just like an empty freeze.

Love all.


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Lynn_Gale_Martella
Posted

Life is how you make one. How do you want yours?


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Posted

I think society, whether it be the LGBT community or the hetero-normative society, puts pressure on people to pick a category. Pick a label. Pick a slot in which you can be put so it is easier to control you.
I say I am "bisexual" because it is easier for others to understand than my true feelings. I don't think people are either gay or straight. It is far too normative and way too binary. Only two sexualities? What about a man who considers himself straight but has sex with a transvestite? What about a gay man who dates an extremely manly woman? Or a bisexual man who is in a polyamorous relationship with both men and women?
Things aren't so cut and dry. We can't simply be gay or simply be straight. I, personally, am attracted to women and men. However, I can't say I am MORE attracted to one or the other. I also can't say I am equally attracted to both. Honestly, it fluctuates. On some days, I see more cute guys than girls. On others, I see more girls I am attracted to. Life is one big gray area, and sexuality is the biggest uncertainty of them all.
I like that I don't fit into a perfect category. Maybe someday in the future I will settle down with either a man or a woman and they will have to understand that I am attracted to them not BECAUSE of their gender but because of who they are. We all need to free ourselves of these binding categorizations or we will only make it easier for people to be hateful and misinformed.

Sorry for the rant, but I am obviously very invested in this subject.
I'm also new to this online community, so if I'm doing anything wrong, let me know.
Thanks,
Edd.


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Posted

You're not doing anything wrong Edd. Infact I find your views to be quite interresting. Society does like to have things in an order,meaning that catagorizing things makes it easyer to identify and also hate,or not hate. You're right. Sexuality isn't all that cut and dry as people would like it to be,but then again you maybe feeling more with your mind than with your heart. You may have a hate towards what the society thinks. Don't worry dude,I've have hated the thinking ways of society for years. It's society that that coined the word "Nigger". It's society that has pressured me to to finally come to terms with myself,but that's a good thing.

I am what I am,(to coin a song phrase),and I don't mind being gay,but it is what I am,and it's not easy saying that you are something that society considers wrong, or detremental. Believe me I don't like being called a "Sodomite". I find the word really offensive,and dictionary doesn't help,because it's written by a society that has it's own definition of things.

I once fell in love with a woman that had a lesbien relationship. I knew that if we were to get together that I would most likely marry her,but it never happened,we lost contact,so Yes. People are people,and will do what we feel,still I find that people should follow the heart and not the mind,and not do things to spite the society....Fuck society.. Don't let them run your life.

Thanks Edd.


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Janian_Nenanivik
Posted

johny , love the minestroni /lasagna poem. pretty cool! and thanks, how was your holliday?


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