Jump to content
D.M_Barrera

Confusion.. - Lesbian Ladies

Recommended Posts

D.M_Barrera
Posted

I've recently encounter a problem that i dont know how to deal with...

I've thought of myself as a lesbian since age 15, I've had girlfriends, and I have been happy and proud of who I am. Well... I coach a soccer team, girls 13 year olds, and one of the girls brother became my assistant coach. He is very respectful, nice, and sensitive.

He asked me to the movies.... and I turned him down. I went to a play with another friend, and next to me was one of my players (soccer players) who went the next day and told everyone i was on a date with a guy. So he stopped texting me... and I kinda missed it.
Yesterday we went in kinda like a date... to eat, discuss soccer, go to the soccer games.. but at the end we parked and talked inside his car.... It was nice.

I'm a lesbian,,......am i a lesbian?
I dont know what do to with this... any advice?


Sandra_Rodrigo
Posted

There are many levels of attraction... maybe you are just emotionally attracted to him. You said so yourself he has a decent personality. I know a guy that is very sweet and who I can relate alot to in many ways, and I think if I was straight I would want to be with someone like that. But I'm perfectly happy just being friends with him as I am.

Maybe you like your friend like that.. My lesbian friend has close friends who are guys and she feels close to them without wanting to be with them.. I don't think its something to be scared about. Even lesbians can have occasional attraction to guys. It doesn't mean you have to act on it, unless you somehow come to the point that you feel comfortable enough to and want to.


Posted

don't label yourself, sexuality is fluid and not black and white! so what if ur attracted to a guy? in my opinion if ur attracted to him and if he was female you'd go on a date with him do it. doesn't mean ur str8 or bi, cud just mean tht u just like this 1 guy the same way some str8 women fall for another woman :] good luck


Charity_T._Baysa
Posted

"Distance means so little when someone means so much."


Posted

In my opinion it really depends on how you really feel about the guy on all levels..have you really sat and thought about how you really feel? IF you are sexually attracted to him and see yourself or wanting more than that then you would be considered bisexual....


Posted

they way I see it is that you like who you like. like anna said you may just like this one guy. but if you do feel more than just the friendly feelings for him maybe your just finding out more about yourself you didnt know. just because you can have feelings for guys dont mean you have them for many. it could just be a handful your entire life. but at least you know your capable of it. and labeling yourself is like putting yourself in a box. you dont really get to know yourself because you arent free.


D.M_Barrera
Posted

Those are good suggestions, thank you...
maybe I am confused between friendship and like, bkuz I dont see myself doing anything sexual with him. .


Kayann_Cowperthwait
Posted

its like for me, i love flirting with guys or girls but i just can't see myself having sex with guys either. i think cause the feeling u have when someone like u, it busted your confidence and makes u feel good even if it isn't someone u really like.


Steph_Tai
Posted

You might like the best of both world's gurl...who ever sez "you can't have your cake and it too?" coz I beg a differ and you can lol


jessicazylee
Posted

attraction is broken down into two types: sexual and emotional
hence why there are demisexuals and asexuals in relationships.
only a small percentage of the population is completely straight or completely gay. but we tend to expand those categories since it's hard to explain teh differing degrees of bisexuality/pansexuality to people.

asexuals - ppl who are not sexually attracted to anyone, but can be emotionally attracted
demisexuals - ppl who are only sexually attracted to someone they have an emotional bond with
lesbian - females who are sexually attracted to women [debate over trans women]
gay - males who are sexually attracted to men [debate over trans men]
bisexual - ppl who are sexually attracted to both men and women. there is ongoing debate on whether those who love transgendered/intersexed can be in this category
pansexual - ppl who are are attracted by person, not by sex


Vanessa_L_Sills
Posted

I identified as bi for a LONG time and I think if you're bi and you like trans people the you're still bi. I liked a t-guy and found him both emotionally and physically attractive. For example if they are a trans guy then they are a man at birth just born into the wrong body and then if you fall for a trans girl then they are a woman at birth just born in the wrong body. It doesn't amek them less of a man OR woman. It's all about looking past that outer shell and into their heart and mind. The body parts and sex comes later. I don't think it makes you any less bisexual If anything it makes you more because bisexuality is about rigidly sticking to male and female and trans people WANT to be labeled as their true selves as either male or female. I think that gay men can also date trans guys because they ARE men. I've made the mistake of calling a trans person "she" behind his back so I guess I try to make up for that by helping clear up the whole trans thing and who they truly are (whether it be male at birth or female at birth) as much as possible. I did that at church and I feel HORRIBLE. That's one of the contributing factors for why I LEFT the church and started studying Wicca but i'm getting off topic. lol. That's my two cents intellectual group post for today lol.


D.M_Barrera
Posted

Wow, i didnt know there were so many types!
I feel confused right now, between women ( Who i am physically and emotionally attracted to) and this ONE man whose attraction i havent figure out yet i guess he is.............The only exception



×