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My first poem in too long - Writers Nook

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Posted

Fears

We are all hollow inside
That is why we come here
To make ourselves feel something
So we take another hit, drink another beer
Showing everyone around we have no fear

So why do we tremble so
Why must these tears fall
Why has everyone left us
Who promised to be there through it all
Only to leave when trouble should befall

I’ve grown so sick of these tears
Of all the years of pain
It seems that no matter how hard I try
All my work seems to be in vain
And I have to watch my strength slowly wane

That’s is when I lose the battle
To the devil’s biggest delight
Hell, I’ve tried the best I could
But when the sun left me to the night
I seem to always lose the fight

So once again here I am
Nothing more than the drunken fool
Trying to just drown my pain
But being nothing more than a tool
Letting go and leaving the demons to rule

I know I am going to hell
And maybe one day I’ll see you there
Curse God who hates what I am
It was he who made the woman so fair
That to her my love I would swear

Yes I happen to be a lesbian
But I am not alone in this life
I know there are others out there
And one will soon be my wife
Unless I die by the knife

See this life is very hard to live
And you have to be strong to make it through
But I know that I am not strong
That I am not pure nor am I true
I just wish I had someone to say I love you to

But I am hollow inside
That is why I come here
To make myself feel something
So I take another hit, drink another beer
Showing everyone around I have no fear


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Posted

You poetry seems good to me, a lot of anger and pain in it.

You lost the metre part way through and that made it a bit difficult to read, but I enjoyed it and read it three times right through.

I think it is better than my poetry.


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Posted

WHY WHY WHY

Why Why Why does no-one hear my screams
As I am cut by what you do and say?
But you don't know the pain and fear you cause
I want to speak, but how do I find the way?

I'm not mature and wise with memories in store.
I am still young and yet to live my life.
What does the future hold but fear and hate
Better to end than live a life in strife.

Confused and lonely, mixed up, scared, alone
Fate, God, not me, made me the way I am.
I've done no wrong, hurt no-one but myself.
I was happy once, then puberty, and WHAM.

You don't have to hate me, call me names
I do that myself, more than you could try.
You mix, make friends, enjoy both life and love,
I stay alone, unwanted and I cry.

Will I forever have to live a lie?
Life's what you make it, that I know's not true.
My life's best ended, it's a living hell,
Not made by me my friend, but made by you.

You don't know me, do you really care?
As I am cut by what you do and say.
I want to speak, to make you understand,
At fifteen how can you tell the world you're gay?


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Posted

BLOT on the LANDSCAPE

People say I'm lucky where I reside
Rolling hills and ancient tress frame my view.
Cows sleepily make milk in grasslands wide,
Spider webs glint with jewels of morning dew.

Air clean, no noise of cars, pollution free;
Swift silver streams diamond studded dancing.
A rolling vista, multi-hued I see
Sparse spread cosy homes the scene enhance.

I love this land, as boy I roamed it free
On foot, by bike, adventures in my mind.
To swim a river, climb a massive tree;
To fight and vanquish demons of all kinds.

But now in vain I look for solace there.
I look for secret places where I can hide.
In circles wander; try to loose my care,
But this demon I can't fight, it's inside.

In countryside so peaceful, I know well,
I walk for miles, never loose my way.
But all the time I take my living hell
That growing cancer telling me I'M GAY!

No lepers bell, but hatred all the same,
Afraid to say; afraid to live a lie.
Those secret places where I played a game
Now serve again, this time a place to die.

Where is the boy who laughed and dragons slew,
Who loved his life, met hope with open arms?
Now hated himself, fears living if they knew
A dirty secret replaced a boyish charm.

Not normal, pervert, shouldn't be allowed
A place in hell reserved for those who dare.
On Earth alone, yes even in a crowd
Perhaps it's time he took his place down there.


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Posted

I went back and checked, my Metre is ABCBB i dont think i lost it and your poetry is very good too its deep


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Posted

The poetry in here is well expressed, particularly the angst. You guys have talent!


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Posted

Sorry perhaps I said it wrong. The last lines of the first few verses are a lot longer than the last line further in to the poem. THen they get long again and then shorter.

That might be what you wanted and I may be not seeing your true art, I'm not sure.


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Posted

OH lol line length really isn't a thing of interest for me. I say what i want said in the line and go to the next, i dont really bother with trying to keep the lengths the same as long as they aren't too different from line to line.


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Posted

Have any of you read Whitman some of the poems harken to his style.


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Posted

Yes i am sure that i have read him in my classes.


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