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Juan_Lois

going out????????!!!!! - Gay Guys! <3

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Juan_Lois
Posted

i find it hard to be out...i just feel i must not for i pretty sure there i will hurt a lot...(sigh) i really wish there is an easy way to be out...(^^,)


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Tommy_Storey
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Hello, all,
I am not "OUT" to other`s. But if any one asks me, am i gay, then i will say to them, YES i am gay, and proud of it.
I feel as long as you feel, nice in your own skin, then why tell other`s, about,
being GAY, ???.


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There are all sorts of reason for coming, maybe just as many as there are for staying in the closet. The "Closet isn't a coffin, where as coming out esp if you are underage, could get you get out of your parents house. Check out Change .org site on Gay rights then go to Topics: LGBT Youth, where it states thus: " What happens when your parents reject your sexual orientation or gender identity? For some teens, it means the streets. A recent report highlights the shocking number of homeless youth that identify as LGBT. Of the 1.6 million homeless youth in the U.S., anywhere from 320,000 to 640,000 are gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender.

In other words, although LGBT youth only make up about 5% to 10% of the population, at least 20% or much as 40% of homeless youth are lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender, according to the new report by the Center for American Progress (CAP).

As these teens were neglected by their families and communities, so too has research about homeless youth. CAP's report, published today, provides much needed analysis, as well as a short video highlighting the emotional experiences of Nico Quintana and Sierra Webster, two formerly homeless LGBT teens." and also here's a really good reason for not coming out or being outed by your friends even as a joke if you are not even gay: "Immediate Release of the Malawi Gay Couple Steven Monjeza and Tiwonge Chimbalanga
We the undersigned respectfully call upon his Excellency the President and the Government of Malawi to immediately release Steven Monjeza and Tiwonge Chimbalanga found guilty of LOVE . No evidence..." and " Tell Secretary of State Clinton: Help Stop Gay Executions in Iran
An Iranian court has sentenced a teenager named Ebrahim Hamidi to death for having "homosexual relations." Three of his friends were acquitted, and all four teens claim the charges are phony. Regar..."

Started by Change.org 728 total signatures.
The world is still a very real clear and present danger to GLBTQ Folks, there is a difference being out and proud and carrying that "pride" quietly in your heart, for you have nothing to prove to no one.
I was at the Novel Cafe in Venice, and I was enjoying the company of a man I assumed was str8, when the waiter came out for a smoke and (I am guessing here) tried to embarrassed me by asking me if I was gay, in front of the man I was enjoying coffee with. My reply was, "That's none of your fking business, unless you are interested in going to bed with me? and to my surprise, my new acquaintance agreed with me!"
In short, there is a time a place for every thing. Don't rush it and again you have nothing to prove to anyone, more over weigh the consequences carefully.
I read somewhere, maybe here, where a young lesbian stated that she " Would rather be hated for who she is, then loved for who she isn't!" and My own words: "It is sad that when live in a world where it is totally acceptable for a man (or women) to show every other kind of emotion to another man, hate, bigotry, loathing, fear and so on, and even kill him for that. rather then to walk hand in hand -side by side, in total acceptance, peace, harmony and love!"

I also read in one man's profile, "That the ONLY time he is gay, is when he is in bed with another man!"

Yeah I know I've thought way too much about this, but then again, I am 55, I was committed to state run mental hospitals, raped and beaten not only by the other older patients but by members of the Nursing staff, I was made to take drugs given shock treatments, all because they told me I was sick because I was gay. Those scars will never heal not will the number of times I tried to take my own life, because I was told, "I would be better off dead, by my own hand before God, then to sleep with another man!" I am not sure if I will ever be happy, normal or accepting of myself and the fact that me being loved is OK as I want to be loved and love someone else. May God forgive those who did this to me. In any case there's my very long-sorry-2 cents, I hope it may help you somehow.
Wishing you peace of soul. mind, body and heart,....................Me!


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Sorry you may also LOVE to check OUT, this Hunk of a Story from Change.org
From Hollywood (FLA) that is about Gay Rights:Gay Rights HomepageView Topics
EqualityReligion & LGBT RightsTransgender IssuesWorkplace DiscriminationTake ActionStart a Petition Most Recent StoriesRSS Feed for Gay Rights Gay Cop's Porn Past Complicates Job, Revives Sexual Policing
by Andrew Belonsky August 12, 2010 @ 07:41AM PT Topics: Employment Non-Discrimination Act, Workplace Discrimination Homophobia has many faces, many forms and many nameless companions.

What looks like purely anti-gay activity may in fact be something far more insidious and complex, a fact made crystal clear by the murky case of openly gay police officer Michael Verdugo, who's currently fighting to keep his police certification after being booted for appearing in a gay porn.

Verdugo maintains that his peers at the Hollywood, Florida Police Department were motivated by gay hate. Hollywood officials insist they felt misled by Verdugo's secrecy. Either way you cut it, however, we're seeing how sexual policing remains alive and well in the United States, and often arises on its own accord.


Related ActionTake Action
130 PeopleTell Hollywood, Florida Police to Address Police Department Homophobia
Create your own petition »
You can Google it too. Michael Verdugo (I would so marry him!) LOL!forget the rings, his handcuffs would do just fine!~


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Posted

Hey Andre,

Thanks for sharing your story with us...

Juan,

It can be hard to be out...you dont have to do it until it is right for you...It was hard for me to come out at 24, because my family is non affirming. It is important to accept yourself and come out when you are ready. Personally I dont hide it, but I dont come out to everyone I meet either...If they want to know, I tell them.


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Thank you Daniel very kind.


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Gary_A._Watson
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I think that coming out is way over rated, now that I have said that, I should say that I thought everyone is gay. My parents were not really forgiving people but they said once that whatever two consenting adults do in the privacy of their own bedroom was their business and no one elses'. I liked that and I never really came out to them. We talked about my partner and my relationships, but never "gay" per se. Once when I left my first partner of ten years, I went home to see my Mother and the first thing she said was, "what is wrong with you, he is a good provider!" Just pretend he is the man of your dreams, women have been doing it for centuries. LOL
People have their own opinions as to what is good and what is not. You read ads straight acting etc. its as if being gay is a bad thing, or the author is ashamed of their sexuality. Do what you feel in your heart is best for you. Do not be ashamed of who you are, but also do not flaunt it as a weapon to hurt others. Sexuality is but a SMALL part of who and what we are.
I just keep thinking everyone is gay, and according to Kinsey, everyone is a little gay to being a little bit straight. Then sometimes I look at some people and think thank GOD they are straight! Not because theyare unattractiver rather that they are gorgeous and someone has to keep the gene pool going to have more gorgeous gay men!


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Unlike Diana Ross's "I'm Coming Out" tune, coming out for each gay individual is vastly different. Some are lucky enough, to have it very easy. Coming out is a huge step for some. Not everyone is lucky, to have understanding parents, family, friends. Society plays an integral role here, since the media enjoys playing havoc with human minds. At times, it's how we as humans, are raised. Homosexuality has been a big taboo, with many religious organizations (pick one) and if your from a very religious family, this makes it even harder (I'm from one). Sometimes, coming out late, has some ramifications too. Before you take that step, test the surrounding waters, first. Conversations help. Find a topic or, bring up something that's been in the news, recently. For example, Prop 8 is back on the charts. California just might get their wish and the Gay communities again, will be able to marry. By bringing up this hot topic, you'll have better understanding of each persons thoughts and head space. If there's way to much negativity, then you'll know it's best not to jump out or.... not. Then there's the (internal) debate. To shock or not to shock, that is the question. Play it by ear. Being a late bloomer is not uncommon. Some have had easy transitions and others, a very bumpy ride. If your happy with how your life is currently, then abide your time and when your time is right, blow those hinges off your closet door and put on the tune "Free To Be" by RuPaul. Once you're totally out, you get a fresh burst of internal calming. When I came out at age 18, I came out with a bang. I am now 45 and some of my immediate family, still hasn't gotten over the fact, that I'm not going through a phase, I met the right "girl" just not to what they've perceived as one of the opposite sex and I'm not going back into my closet, since I blew that chunk of wood, into a gazillion pieces! If you're not familiar with RuPaul's "Free To Be", I do believe I have that video within my profile. The link below, should work. This has become a strong Gay Anthem.

http://gays.com/profile/9470771763312665/album/videos/2674/0

@ Gary.... great comment about the gene pool and there are some mighty fine looking gay guys, so a strong gene pool is greatly needed. :P

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Juan_Lois
Posted

thanks for all of the advices. Its really great to have a room to let go and express who i really am...i'll to be out on my sister's birthday next month...i guess i really need to prepare, huh!!! thank you again!!!!


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Okeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey No Hiding in the Birthday cake and shock her when she enters the room. with a jump out of the cake, shouting I am OUT! (Jking) : )


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Take your sister out for a beverage, say a smoothie or coffee etc. Something you can carry. Go for a walk, somewhere private. This way, no interruptions and you can ease into the conversation. I don't think your sister will be to shocked. She might at first and then again, she might not. She might surprise you. When I told my sister, she only stated "neat" and didn't care, it didn't change the person I was. Her next question was "is Rob your partner?" My niece and nephew were also informed (her 2 kids). Both were quite comfortable with having a gay uncle. But everyone's life is different. Telling a sibling is one thing. It's telling your parents, that's a whole different ballgame. For some inspiration, click on the video link I posted above. RuPaul seems to sing it like is is. Free to Be. Good luck Juan.


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Juan_Lois
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wow, know what i just been out with my closest friends and girlfriend last night. surprisingly my friends just embraced me and told me they love me more (NOT MY GUY FRIENDS, THEY JUST SAT BESIDE ME QUIETLY). and my girlfriend, she gave me a big slap! i just hope to talk to her, because i really love her. well i think this will be the end of our love story...a huge sacrifice for a little freedom.


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Sharing a e-mail with you all,
I got ;


Andre,

On Sunday, Jeff and I took our tuxedos out of the closet and out of their dry cleaning bags, to let them air out.

We were ecstatic about getting married. People talk about nerves, second thoughts and "cold feet," but we didn't have any of them. We had been waiting for this day for three years.

But on Monday, the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals denied me the freedom to marry the man I love.

We were devastated. But we're not giving up, and we don't want you to give up either. Save the Date and join us on December 6, 2010, when the Court of Appeals will once again address Prop 8 and our right to marry:

http://freedomtomarry.org/SaveTheDate

Over the past couple of weeks, Jeff and I have become more visible in the fight for marriage equality. We are moving forward to get past the tears, the frustration, the despair, and the anger that otherwise threatened to consume us. Courts don't operate in a vacuum and there are critical things we can do to set the stage for a good decision that repeals Prop 8.

It took a lot to get to this point -- a point where speaking up is preferable to silence and taking action is better than just hoping for a positive outcome.

That's why I'm asking you to Save the Date and help couples like us win the right to marry:

http://freedomtomarry.org/SaveTheDate

Who are we? We're just ordinary Americans looking forward to our wedding day. We're two guys who live with our two cats. We love each other, take care of each other, laugh and cry with each other, and we want the same thing other people do: to love, to be loved, and to build a family with the one we love.

December 6th may seem like a long way away, but Jeff and I have waited much longer. Save the Date, and find out what else you can do to help couples like us secure the freedom to marry:

http://freedomtomarry.org/SaveTheDate

Thanks so much for your help,

Thom Watson


© 2003-2010 Freedom to Marry | http://freedomtomarry.org/unsubscribe


http://www.freedomtomarry.org/pages/save-the-date-action?source=20100820ThomWatson%20&utm_source=FTM&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=20100820ThomWatson

(I hope I am not breaking too many rules)

Lovve
Andre

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Juan... you took a big step and a chance. For the friends who embraced you, these are true and good friends. Obviously they see that just because you admitted to them who you are, made you look stronger as apposed to living a lie. Guys have a more difficult time with just dealing with it. If they don't come around, guy friends can be replaced. As for you girlfriend, the slap is understandable, for this was probably the only reaction she could possibly think of doing, at the time she received this news. I'm sure she is questioning herself "what did I do, to deserve this?" She really needs to know, nothing. You are who you are and since you also like guys, why should it matter. If she can't handle it then, chances are, she can't handle being a friend. Life is way to short as is. Having good friends, true friends are rare. You know who yours are Juan. Maybe after talking things out with your girlfriend, you may be able to remain as just friends, if not, it's her loss. So this would be the partial breaking ground, for your full coming out, if and when you decide to inform the 2 most important people... The Parents. For this my friend, I do wish you all the best, for if you're able to handle how they'll react, then life won't be so harsh, as you begin your life, free of guilt and not having that dark cloud hanging over your head. Personally speaking, not everyone has had a smooth ride for some parents go into shell shock. Some recover and others... well, they simply keep thinking it's a phase. 3 years from now, will mark 30 years of being totally out! Some phase eh? I'm still highly attracted to the same sex! No Excuses. No Apologies. No Regrets. I am who I am.... one very proud 100% out gay male! =)


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