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Laura_Snyder

Trial and Error? - Lesbian Ladies

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Laura_Snyder
Posted

"Why is it that as a culture we are more comfortable seeing two men holding guns than holding hands?" It's a question that has baffled me since I first admitted to myself I was gay...

Upon stumbling through my door drunk one night at the age of thirteen, my mother simply took the bottle from my hands, held my hair as I threw up, and put me into bed. The next day, I was given a firm but loving lecture about the alcoholism in my family.

At fourteen, when I broke a boy's nose for no reason, my mother bought me a guitar so I could work out my frustrations with frets, not fists.

But at fifteen, after coming out to her after she read a personal notebook between myself and my ex girlfriend, she swore. She screamed. She cried. She refused to talk to me for several weeks. When she did, it was to tell me that she was going to send me away to a christian program that specialized in "fixing gay teenagers". She threw the guitar she had bought for me at my face, slicing my eyebrow with the remnants of string looping through the head.

To say our relationship has been strained since would be the most underestimated statement in my 18 year old life.

The thing is, the hatred just fills through my town for "types like me". One boy in my sophomore year would spit at me with whispers of "dyke" (Only when I told him that he was just jealous ladies loved me better did he silence). My friends slowly distanced themselves, leaving only a few true friends behind. My father tells me I talked myself into it..

So let me ask this, my fellow women. Are we any different? Are we so wrong in our loves? I say no. And everything I've gone through because of my sexuality, you know... it was worth it.

"I'd rather you hate me for everything I am, than have you love me, for something that I can't"- Five Finger Death Punch "Never Enough"


Kim_Lew
Posted

Damn... You're story had me pretty hopeful up till the coming out part... Mm, I've seen media representations of those religious "fixers". Not good, not ever. Actually, religion seems more dangerous than positive to me. Or, rather, it seems that RELIGIOUS PEOPLE, maybe not the religion itself, are dangerous.

I'm sorry that you had such a torment in coming out. I haven't myself and well... I don't think I ever will until I have at least moved out of my parents' house. I wish we could just go to all the parents "Why does it matter? It's not like we're out getting smashed, drugged, raped, committing murder. We are just having relationships, same as anyone else." Besides, nothing is normal anymore. The world is fucked up. There's enough shit going on without people getting mad at other people being loving and having love and being in love. Love is good right? Why is society punishing people for loving?

Glad you had a good quip for that arsehole at your school.


Posted

My family is very supportive about me trying to figure out my sexual orientation. I've been telling them that I'm bi-curious just because I'm not sure exactly what I am! But now, with time I am realizing that I can fall in love with either a man or woman and I don't care what people think.

Nothing is wrong with giving love. People just don't understand things that are different from themselves and they won't try to. They don't have to understand us, they just need to stop putting us down for who we are. You can't change who a person is.

And as for people saying that we "convinced" ourselves that we're into girls...f*** them! I mean, most of us just are this way- we can't flippin change it! I am attracted to woman because they have beautiful bodies and I feel emotionally they are easier to connect with than men! And there is nothing wrong with that! I say- to each their own people!


Posted

Love is love. There is nothing wrong with being attracted to who you're attracted to. I am a religious person and I am so thankful for the church I go to because they do not discriminate against anyone. As for the religious people and churches that try to change us, all I have to say to them is, God made us this way. Why would he make us gay if he "doesn't approve" of gay people? It just doesn't make sense. People should stop being prejudiced against other people. In this day and age it doesn't make sense to hold prejudices against certain groups of people.
Laura, I'm so happy that you can be so strong despite everything you have gone through. You're an inspiration for people who are going through similar trials.


Laura_Snyder
Posted

I completely agree with all of you, and thanks for your support =] Caitlin, It's really inspirational that you've maintained to be religious despite the common prejudices and stereotypes. As for myself, I'm unsure about religion, but for the past four years, I've been a part of a youth group at a local church, and they've all accepted me for who and what I am =]

I agree with your statements, and I've argued them as well to both of my parents; my mother in particular, who has determined I'm going to hell. &gt.&gt Awesome.

Kim, I completely have you there XD I had NO intentions on coming out to my mother until I moved out, but... apparently, that wasn't meant to be. I wish you luck =]

And Marissa... Right on!



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