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Really need advice - Lesbian Ladies

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Posted

So theres this girl that ive been hanging out with for the last 7-8months. Shes really attractive and has everything i want in a partner but........she way too clingy. And we are both femme.

My problem is, is idk if i should take the extra step to date her or just stay friends. I mean ive already slept with her and shes telling me that she loves me but ive never been with a femme and i tend to be clingy too at times. I just have bad feelings that if i try to be with her the clingyness is really gonna bother me at some point and its gonna end badly bc already its kinda annoying to me.

This situation has really got my mind racing bc idk what to do and i really dont want to hurt her and i really dunno if dating her is the right answer either. Its so bad that shes in my bed right now sleeping and i cant even lay next to her bc my mind just wont let me rest. Please someone give me advice on what you would do!!!!


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Vicky_Palomares
Posted

Dude I say you give it atleast one more month. Then if she's still clingy..don't do it..cuz clingyness does tend to bug in a relationship. But idk I say go with your gut


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Ky_Sadler
Posted

honestly the way i see it is to bounce. be friends. keep that barrier up. cuz if its buggin you already can you imagine what 2-3 years down the road if its already bad now? exactly. or approach her about it. if she flips about it or doesnt change you know what you can do. at least you know you guys are good friends right?


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Posted

on a side-note.. how do you stop being clingy yourself? im a clingy girl, ive been used and cheated on in every relationship because all i wanted was to see my girl face to face and meet up (long distance) and she would then tell me she cheated and its over.. but when i had real relationships, my ex being a flirty with everyone girl.. i got scared everytime she texted another girl.. i moved up to the same village as her for her to say a week later that she wanted to take a break to be with other women and not be classed as "cheating" on me..

i dont know where my clingyness comes from.. i have no friends anymore due to various reasons.. and i have no girlfriend.. but whenever i connect with someone, i only connect fully or not at all.. and when i do, i feel complete.. and when im not with them, i feel hurt and alone and just want to be around them.. and ontop of that i have my paranoia that everyone i date is suddenly going to see someone they rather have and cheat on me cause im not skinny or pretty or cool enough..


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Laura_Kaeding
Posted

So she's clingy and it's annoying, but you're clingy too? Why not sit down and talk to her, ask her what she expects in a relationship. Maybe you'll discover that you are both clingy for the same reason, and will be able to tolerate it better. My girlfriend and I are both VERY clingy, and it works for us. Just take a step back and reanalyze what she expects, and what you expect. If they are too different, then it won't work. Good luck.


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Posted

yes i tend to be clingy at times but not all the time like she does. She texts me nonstop all day telling me her every move and its kinda obnoxious. And ive had the same problem as you charlie..all the girls ive dated have cheated on me and their main reason to doing so was bc i was too clingy. But me and a ex spent pretty much all our time together but when we were working. She decided to tell me she was sick one night so i would go home and turns out a couple hrs after i went home she went to the bar to meet another girl.

But im the same was as charlie too if i am with someone then i want to spend as much time as i can with them without causing the tention and clingyness to come out. But i guess ive learned my lessons on not being clingy bc its lost alot of girls lol. So now im trying to stay away from it as much as possible bc i have been single for a long time and i am looking to be with someone and its ruined my past relationships...now its just on the other foot lol


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Posted

yea im in the limbo right now... i dont know if im still clingy or not.. i used to text my gf a lot because she was the only one i enjoyed talking to out of my friends, my other friends didnt like to chat much or rarely texted me back..

i still have major trust issues at the moment.. if i got a girlfriend, i would want to know why she was texting other girls instead of me or something..


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D'CYMONE_B-K
Posted

i need some advice as well... I've been with females for what seems like forever now but there's a guy that I've had a crush on for a whole second... um... don't get me wrong here, I love females, he knows that too, but it's like when I was least attracted to him was when he was really into me and now things seemed to have switched. he doesn't know and like i said... it's not that I'd "go straght" for him but I'd like to be with him (idk about the physical aspect yet)... i don't think it constitutes as "going straight" but i wouldn't label it being "bi" would you?


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D'CYMONE_B-K
Posted

and back to the "main issue" with Amber Shaver... i say that if you guys are already doing and feeling "relationship" things then the way you feel now about her isn't going to change. remain friends and she'll move on... just don't lead her on...


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Alanna_Christine
Posted

you may be bi (nothing wrong with that) or you might just be interpreting friend feelings as 'mm you look good' feelings (especially if you can't imagine the physical side happening). i wouldn't read too much into it. straight girls get lezzy crushes too, and it doesn't make them bi..


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Kelly_Gibson
Posted

I dont see the big deal if shes clingy its ok there could be worst things u know. at lest u know she likes u alot. femme n femmes r good together it dont matter as long as u love echother. Now i think u should give it a try. theres always gonna be somethng annoying about some 1 no matter what its life. we deal with it. we all have our flaws u know pros n cons. i'm just saying u should give it a try.


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Posted

thanks for the advice everyone. i still havent made up my mind yet but im slowly working on things and seeing what happens. we have our good days and bad ones. Some days she drives me nuts and others its just nice to have someone who cares about me. :-)


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Alanna_Christine
Posted

glad to hear it. best of luck in whatever you do


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