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Maddie_Lausier

Please give me advice - Bi Bi Bi Women

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Maddie_Lausier
Posted

Ok, so basically my best friend is a conservative, and she does not like gay people, let alone bisexuals. She told me to "Pick one or the other. Don't swing both ways, it's gross. You'll be all over everybody." I am really upset that she said that to me after being besties for 9 years. I can't tell her it hurt my feelings, because it's how she feels about us. What should I do?


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Heather_Giellis
Posted

that makes me sad to read even my "homophobic" friends don't say things like that to me, but you are right, it is her opinion. its nice that you listen to her opinion, but she obviously is not listening to you. most people that i have met and had anything bad to say, it was only because they know nothing about anything outside of being heterosexual. and i know plenty of straight people that are all over the opposite sex, to make up for the lack that you are probably not. i hate when people assume that because you are bisexual you want to get on everything, its so not true! i can count my partners on one hand. i say that you can tell her how YOU feel and if she is negative about it than you are going to have to come up with a respectable line that you would ask her never to cross so your friendship can continue. if she is your bestie, she should understand


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Erma_Elizabeth_Monie-Kehler
Posted

I am very sorry your friend hurt you in that way. Bi people, in my experience anyway, are no more likely to "be all over everyone" then any other sexual orientation of human. Being human, sexuality is part of our makeup, but our morals are also. I feel that ones morals would make them shall we say loosey goosey not out orientation. Your "friend" may not understand that not being "average" does not break down our moral fiber. I am in my 50's and also can count on 1 hand the number of partners I have had. If she is really a friend to you just tell her straight up that you are a strong moral person and have no intention of "being all over everyone" due to your sexual orientation or for any other reason, because it is not who you are. And you are sorry if she feels that you are that type of a person because you felt that after 9 yrs she would know you are a person of strong moral fiber. If she does not like to hear this then in my mind she is not really a friend, because a freind excepts who and what you are, even if they do not agree with it. And being bi is not riding the fence, we just live in a world where we have more options on dating and relationships then straight people and that really bugs them...
I really am sorry that she hurt your feelings. Hope it all works out.


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Alyssa_Selbrede
Posted

The fact that she has a negative opinion of bisexuals is exactly the reason why you MUST explain to her that her comments hurt your feelings. I assume, since you have been best friends for 9 years, that she must know you better than anyone, and I would sure hope that she has enough respect for you to accept the things about you that she cannot change. The things straight people would learn if every LGBT person came out- it's unreal to think about. We're 10% of the population, and she's lucky enough to know one of us very personally: you. You have the opportunity to help her see that just because your sexuality differs from her set of moral beliefs, doesn't mean that you have changed, and if she loves you, she'll overcome this very minor obstacle and learn to accept you.


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Posted

well sweetie I can't believe she would do that. You should be who you are if you like boys and girl then you do its not something you can change. If she really is your friend than she shouldnt care. I have a friend and when I trold her i was bi she told me she didn't agree with it but she was still there for me


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Fannetta_Jones
Posted

You know, this is honestly an argument that I have heard from various degrees of the orientation spectrum. The fact that your friend is close-minded is unfortunate but should not deter you from speaking up for yourself. As your best friend of 9 years, there should be a level of respect upheld on both ends of the friendship and she clearly is not holding up her end. I feel that you should tell her, respectfully, that you do not agree with where she is coming from and truly stand up for yourself, as a bisexual, yes, but also as a person and as a friend. She has no reason to be able to say that type of thing to you and 'get away with it' so to speak.

In addition to that, it is evident that not all bisexual people are not "all over everybody." There are not heterosexual people that engage in that behavior, nor homosexual. "Promiscuous" people are all over everybody. That type of activity is not orientation specific. Perhaps giving your friend a little education will open her mind a bit.

Hope that helps, babe.


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