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my fav scene from a movie i wrote - Writers Nook

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Scene 15: Disguised to surprise

(Deirdre is standing with Arantir outside awaiting his plan; she is disguised)

Arantir: Now I have a map of where you must go. Looks like where you’ll be checking first is the throne room.

Deirdre: That looks easy enough. Now how do I deal with the guards?

Arantir: Kill them… all of them.

Deirdre: Yes sir.

(Deirdre walks up to the gate and is stopped by the first two guards)

Guard 2: (Increasingly gets louder) Hey. Hey! HEY! Turn around you hag.

Guard 1: We don’t want to hurt you.

Deirdre: (In a scraggly old person voice) But I'm here to open a new shop in the market.

Guard 1: What exactly is it you sell?

Deirdre: I sell weapons like these.

(Showing the daggers; then she thrusts the blades into them; Deirdre makes her way to the throne room killing every guard she comes in contact with until she is surrounded then she uses a fire spell to kill all of them.)

Deirdre: (Still in the old voice) Well gentlemen. It seems I am caught. Take me away.

(The guards move closer)

Deirdre: (Normal voice) Nice try men. IGNISHTA!!

(A great sphere of fire surrounds her and then disperses to hit all the guards turning them to ash. She continues toward the throne room. Deirdre interrupts
the meeting between Duncan, Isabel, and Ornella)

Duncan: (Stands) Who the hell are you?

Deirdre: (In the old voice) I am an innocent old hag.

Duncan: I don’t care get out of here.

Deirdre: But I have come for something of value.

Duncan: Leave or I will have you taken to the dungeon.

Deirdre: (In her normal voice again) I will not repeat myself. I am not leaving till I get what I came here for.

(Ornella recognizes Deirdre’s voice)

Ornella: (Whispers) Deirdre.

Duncan: Guards take her down.

(Deirdre kills all the guards in the throne room then grabs Ornella and takes her away)

Deirdre: (Whisper to Ornella) Act like you’re in danger.

Ornella: Daddy help me! Help! (Scream)

Duncan: Ornella! (Run over to the balcony yelling to the rest of the guards) Save my daughter she has been taken by a creature of the dark.

(Guards run from everywhere only to surround Deirdre and Ornella)

Deirdre: Farewell boys.

(Deirdre throws a smoke bomb teleporting her back to Arantir)

Deirdre: Mission complete Arantir. Now let’s get out of here. Hurry. We are being followed.

Arantir: Of course this always seems to happen.

(They ride back to Ditana; they dismount and Arantir talks to Ornella as Deirdre takes the horses back to the stable)

Arantir: (Furious) You shall spend the rest of your days in the dungeon for that stunt you pulled.

Ornella: But, Arantir…

Arantir: (Angry) I don’t want to hear it.

(Arantir Summons skeletons to escort Ornella to the dungeon; Arantir walks away only to be stopped by Ornella)

Ornella: Arantir. Listen to the words I say. I did not break out I was taken.

Arantir: (Irritated) Oh really. By who?

Ornella: Do you remember when I told you my sister was going to become the high priestess?

Arantir: Yes. But what does that have to do with anything.

Ornella: When you are the high priestess you can summon Seraphs. They were the ones who took me. I would not lie to you.

Arantir: (Annoyed) Why should I believe you?

Ornella: Dispel these skeletons and look into my eyes.

Arantir: Very well.

(Arantir dispels the skeletons; Ornella runs to Arantir)

Ornella: Now look deep in my eyes. You can see that I am not lying.

(Arantir looks closely in Ornella’s eyes and leans closer in)

Arantir: I believe you. I apologize for my rash behavior

Ornella: It is quite alright. I'm just glad you believe me now.

Arantir: As am I.

(They move closer to each other and get ready to kiss only to be stopped by

Giovanni: Arantir, I need to talk to you.

Arantir: (To Ornella) (Sigh) One moment.

(Arantir walks over to Giovanni)

Arantir: (To Giovanni) What is it.

Giovanni: I want to thank you for keeping my sweet Deirdre safe.

Arantir: You are welcome… and dismissed.

(Giovanni leaves)

(Arantir walks over to Ornella)

Arantir: Now where were we?

(They come close to kissing then Ornella pulls away)

Ornella: I've got to go it’s getting late and I want to go to sleep.

Arantir: Right. Goodnight.

(Ornella runs toward the kingdom and Arantir walks toward his horse to put it in the stable. Before he is able to enter he turns with his horse and Ornella runs toward Arantir and thrusts herself to him. They kiss.)

Ornella: (Smiling.) Well goodnight.

Arantir: Yeah. Night.


Thank you for the opportunity to read this passage. You definitely caught my attention and imagination, for it's almost 4am and usually, my brain is on the verge of shutting down at this hour. I can now, slowly allow myself to gently crawl up stairs and hit my bed, pondering how this story will continue. I'm now eagerly looking forward to the next scene. Thanks once again. Cheers! =)


id be happy to send another scene!!! lol just let meh knw


Just post it in here, for all of us can read it. Not many will take that extra step and post a comment or two. But then again, I'm not like most and tend to speak up. I don't mind returning to this site and since my settings allow for all gays.com email to flow directly to my in box, I'm able to keep up on what's going on.


awesome!! yeah i been trying to get actors to star in this :/ no luck yet lol


All in due time Evangeline. You have a talent and I'm sure over time, someone will approach you to discuss, doing more with your work.


yeah yewr right..... btw i posted another scene.... and call meh angie everyone else does


You're a very talented screen writing. I do a lot of creative writing myself mostly poetry and always admire those who can do this type of writing. I personally find it difficult to keep the flow and interest alive but you did a very good job. Keep up the good work!!!!!


a very talented screen writer*


thank yew so much!! i rlly appreciate it