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I'm lost, i really don't know who i am? What am i supposed to do now? - Bi Bi Bi Women

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Posted

I have a very good relationship with my boyfriend, but sometime i can't stop thinking about ladies. I just came to UK for my further study in Master, i met a lady who is from US, i attracted by her, i can't stop thinking of her everyday! Everyday i hope i can see her and talk to her, but she doesn't look like want to be friend with me.... I used to be lesbian before when i was 18 years old and i broke up with my girlfriend because of my family. Even now i got together with a guy and i know i love him very much, but i just can't stop myself to have feeling on ladies! Who can teach me what should i do? I am confused and feel like i can't concentrate on my study at all.....


Posted

Hey there,

I have been in the similar situation as you. Been with my boyfriend for a very long time, yet my desire to be with women is just ridiculous. Honestly, You are who you are and you can not help that. I don't know where your boyfriend stands on the whole issue but it is something you need to discuss with him. No one can teach you what to do, you need to let time go on and be true to yourself, figure out what YOU need in order to feel yourself again. Something that is taking away your concentration from your studies is obviously important. I can't really offer advice as I have yet to figure out my own situation, all I know is that each day I wake up and know that I am who I am and whatever road I end up going down, so be it. Have faith and just let go and relax, things will fall into place as they should


Posted

Yeah, i think i better discuss with him about this asap. at least this will not bother me too long! Thanks Vanessa, happy to know you....


Posted

Hi Ladies.
I have a similar, but not same situation. I have figured mine out, so if you would like, feel free to add me as a friend, and/or send me a message. I have a boyfriend whome I love very much, but I had a hard time getting past the death of a lesbian lover. Once I accepted who and what I am, I was able to let her spirit go. I still have her memories, but He is in my life now. He refuses to share me with anyone--Male OR female. I have accepted this because I truly DO LOVE him that much. My best advice to you both is:
1) Talk to him, and BE HONEST about WHO AND WHAT you are (EVERYTHING faith, sexuality, everything)
2) Find out AND RESPECT both YOUR and HIS feelings on these things.
If it is TRUE LOVE; You will find a Respectful Mid Ground, that both of you can live with. ex: In my case, my boyfriend and I have agreed that though our spirituality is very different, we can still respect eachother's beliefs. He understands that I am bi, and allows me to masturbate as I need to, as long as I allow him to watch, but that I will NOT hit on women, or have sex with them as long as we are together. This works for us.


Posted

Hi, i just feel like i'm not ready to discuss with him. Sorry to say that, i do love him, but i still been attracted by women. Sometime i did ask myself, if one day she come to me and tell me she having a same feeling as me, what i will do? i hope this won't happen but sometime i do hope it as well! What the hell i am doing? Ridiculous man! Maybe i just too greedy, or maybe i just think too much! sigh, it doesn't matter, she doesn't know i like her! Thanks Tammy, you really gave me a good lesson!


Posted

If everyone could realize, accept, love isn't a closed gate, a locked door.
Not when it comes to gender, to GBLTQ. Having feelings, arn't to be controlled, feared, feel guilt. Yes love can have the habit of confusing the hell out of us, but it's L O V E , something blessed. Sure it can leave us feeling locked in a predicament, but if we accept the love, even if we can't do anything about it, if we accept we feel love, for more than one, in more than one way, love becomes easier to live with, and with that comfort can often also come our solution. Sometimes, even love from afar becomes livable.


Danielle_Kopp
Posted

i honestly don't think you're going to come to any solution to this without talking to the guy you are with about it.
i know it's hard and scary, and that you don't feel ready to discuss this with him, but in my experience, a topic like this is never easy to discuss, and you may never actually feel ready to talk to a specific person about it.
talking to him about this might even help you figure more out about yourself

good luck!


Posted

I have no words of advice as I am in the same situation


Veronica_Davies
Posted

Someone told me a long time ago : Don't worry about it so much; don' t feed your anxiety by thinking about it all the time. You are who you are. Try letting the anguish go . If you really love this man then that is the important relationship in your life. I am not so great at giving advice to someone I don't know personally, but don't waste your energy and time !!! Good luck to you !!!


Posted

Ya, be who i am and who i want to be! Last time i been together with a girl, after three years we broke up due to our family. And i told myself not to do a same thing in my life again. But after two years, i met another girl who are very nice and we love each other very much. And we didnt get together, because of my worries and i scared. Then, after one year, i entered into the same situation again! What the fuck i am doing now? I remember the second girl gave me one sentence before she leave, she asked me dont make friend with any other girls until i really get ready for it. Come on, sometime i really just hope can make some friends, i never think i want to hurt anyone! AM I WRONG?


Posted

It's not wrong to not want to hurt anyone, but you also need to be honest with yourself and your love.
A suggestion: Try bringing the subject in a quiet manner. Something like, did you notice that new club in the area? Or like I did with my dad and uncle: I said something on the lines of "my husband nearly sent me into the arms of another woman."
These will open the door for an open and honest conversation. From there, you can start to tell him about who you are. It sounds crazy, but usually your love will appreciate your honesty. My boyfriend tells me he dosen't like gays, but he respects me for being honest with him.


Posted

It's not wrong to not want to hurt anyone, but you also need to be honest with yourself and your love.
A suggestion: Try bringing the subject in a quiet manner. Something like, did you notice that new club in the area? Or like I did with my dad and uncle: I said something on the lines of "my husband nearly sent me into the arms of another woman."
These will open the door for an open and honest conversation. From there, you can start to tell him about who you are. It sounds crazy, but usually your love will appreciate your honesty. My boyfriend tells me he dosen't like gays, but he respects me for being honest with him.


Posted

It's not wrong to not want to hurt anyone, but you also need to be honest with yourself and your love.
A suggestion: Try bringing the subject in a quiet manner. Something like, did you notice that new club in the area? Or like I did with my dad and uncle: I said something on the lines of "my husband nearly sent me into the arms of another woman."
These will open the door for an open and honest conversation. From there, you can start to tell him about who you are. It sounds crazy, but usually your love will appreciate your honesty. My boyfriend tells me he dosen't like gays, but he respects me for being honest with him.


Posted

It's not wrong to not want to hurt anyone, but you also need to be honest with yourself and your love.
A suggestion: Try bringing the subject in a quiet manner. Something like, did you notice that new club in the area? Or like I did with my dad and uncle: I said something on the lines of "my husband nearly sent me into the arms of another woman."
These will open the door for an open and honest conversation. From there, you can start to tell him about who you are. It sounds crazy, but usually your love will appreciate your honesty. My boyfriend tells me he dosen't like gays, but he respects me for being honest with him.


Posted

It's not wrong to not want to hurt anyone, but you also need to be honest with yourself and your love.
A suggestion: Try bringing the subject in a quiet manner. Something like, did you notice that new club in the area? Or like I did with my dad and uncle: I said something on the lines of "my husband nearly sent me into the arms of another woman."
These will open the door for an open and honest conversation. From there, you can start to tell him about who you are. It sounds crazy, but usually your love will appreciate your honesty. My boyfriend tells me he dosen't like gays, but he respects me for being honest with him.


Posted

It's not wrong to not want to hurt anyone, but you also need to be honest with yourself and your love.
A suggestion: Try bringing the subject in a quiet manner. Something like, did you notice that new club in the area? Or like I did with my dad and uncle: I said something on the lines of "my husband nearly sent me into the arms of another woman."
These will open the door for an open and honest conversation. From there, you can start to tell him about who you are. It sounds crazy, but usually your love will appreciate your honesty. My boyfriend tells me he dosen't like gays, but he respects me for being honest with him.


Posted

It's not wrong to not want to hurt anyone, but you also need to be honest with yourself and your love.
A suggestion: Try bringing the subject in a quiet manner. Something like, did you notice that new club in the area? Or like I did with my dad and uncle: I said something on the lines of "my husband nearly sent me into the arms of another woman."
These will open the door for an open and honest conversation. From there, you can start to tell him about who you are. It sounds crazy, but usually your love will appreciate your honesty. My boyfriend tells me he dosen't like gays, but he respects me for being honest with him.


Posted

It's not wrong to not want to hurt anyone, but you also need to be honest with yourself and your love.
A suggestion: Try bringing the subject in a quiet manner. Something like, did you notice that new club in the area? Or like I did with my dad and uncle: I said something on the lines of "my husband nearly sent me into the arms of another woman."
These will open the door for an open and honest conversation. From there, you can start to tell him about who you are. It sounds crazy, but usually your love will appreciate your honesty. My boyfriend tells me he dosen't like gays, but he respects me for being honest with him.


Posted

It's not wrong to not want to hurt anyone, but you also need to be honest with yourself and your love.
A suggestion: Try bringing the subject in a quiet manner. Something like, did you notice that new club in the area? Or like I did with my dad and uncle: I said something on the lines of "my husband nearly sent me into the arms of another woman."
These will open the door for an open and honest conversation. From there, you can start to tell him about who you are. It sounds crazy, but usually your love will appreciate your honesty. My boyfriend tells me he dosen't like gays, but he respects me for being honest with him.


Posted

Tammy- Thanks for your advise. I did this last week, but i think he was shocked and can't believe it. Then we changed to other topic, i really want be honest to him, but seems like it is not the time yet, it is? Sometime i really need somebody can hear what i really want to say from my heart. It is hard, i cant talk this to my friends! I have one friend who is gay, he told everyone he is gay. But after that, he lost all his friends. I told him im actually a bisexual, he cant believe me. he thought im just try to be friend with him. OMG....



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