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Makelika_Utai

Fading Love - Lesbian Ladies

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Makelika_Utai
Posted

Anyone ever feel like you've fallen out of love? It's only been two years but I feel as if I'm "done" in the relationship I'm in. I mean I still feel as if I love her, when she's not around I miss her, we still have a good time together, I love when she holds me. But it's like the "spark" is gone and I don't know why I feel that way. We do things like spontaneous trips to California or just going out and we have fun, but once the fun time is over, all I think about are the bad things and I try not to it just comes up in my head. Anyone got any advice?


Posted

hmmm....every relationship whether straight or gay goes through this. You've lost the euphoria of falling in love. I guess you could try to find that lost spark, You know magazines like cosmo are always full of advice but I don't think they necessarily work and certainly not for everybody. Does she or yourself have a fantasy you would like to play out....have you tried roleplaying? Is there a sexual position you haven't tried or some place she's been wanting to go? Maybe there's something she's always wanted to do but hasn't had the courage to do it? To these questions you would know the answers and hopefully they are helpful.


Posted

gimme a high five over here! this has happened to me so many times. lol. it has made me wonder if i'll ever find someone i'll not lose interest in after awhile. maybe that person just isn't the sort of person you should be with, hence, the loss of spark?


Posted

If its one thing i know is that it feels as if its gone but it really isn't its just that the bad thing in your relationship are there and you let yourself think about that so instead of fixing things you sorta let it get out of hand. So there for talk about the problems and flaws and you will see things will get better. I been through this and that was actually the problem but we broked up cause we were alot more different than we thought. So think about that and watch the spark we emburse again


Posted

sadly I read a book on this and I agree with Evelyn. or well the book did. according to the book most couples lose that spark between 6 months and 2 years. it happens to every relationship. you are not gonna spend the rest of your life in those passions. that doesn't make a great relationship. finding things that you both want a need and getting to know them on more of a friendship but loving basis is what will keep you together. the "love cocktail" started the relationship. that passion. but the friendship is what will hold it together. sounds strange but in reality it makes sense. that passion and ecstasy won't be around when life comes at you. it won't be there when you grow old. so don't keep trying to look for it.


Posted

sadly i do but i dont agree, it depends on the relationship who it is between.It depend on the ppl and if there honestly in love.Some ppl mistake love for lust or something else in that area.But in my opion love being in love means u have to be with them u always want them through all flaws and bad time that might come.I was in a realtionship for a 1 1/2 year and i never lost the spark we had even tho it was a bad realationship.I beleive it depends on the people that is in the realtionship,you never loose a spark if you have dating anyone if u did werent honestly in love with dat person.Loving someone is know them all of them an excepting it and if you can then u have a spark and as long as u love them for all of them then that spark stays there with you and dat person.


Dawn_Condon
Posted

Honestly, I've been in a relationship for 7 1/2 years, and have never lost that spark. Yes it's seemed to lessen, but I can tell you that I am still SOOOOO in love with my wife. I don't mean the "I can't stand to be away from you, You're perfect" kind of in love. I mean the deep "You're my everything, and my life is complete with you in it" kind of lasting love. Relationships go through stages. I know that at 2 yrs, we were living together for the first time, so it was bumpy getting to know each other like that, but it made us closer. It's hard to feel as if the "spark" is gone. But I can tell you, it's not. It's only hidden by menial things that people let take over their lives. It's ok to fight, but you shouldn't always think about that. If the fights over you should let it go. and if you're in a good stage, and having fun, focus on that, and let the little things roll off your back. If you can't let go of the bad, while having the good, then maybe you should re-evaluate whether you WANT to be in this relationship, cause it sounds to me like you'd be losing a good thing if you leave. All relationships take work, and if you take them for granted, yes it seems like somethings missing. BUT alls it takes is a little (ok ALOT of) work, and maybe compromise, and a whole lot of love and communication to have a really good relationship.


Posted

I am so uber jealous dawn. Book smarts loses out to good old fashioned, fang and tooth gnawing at the marrow of the bone wisdom any day. Not to mention it sounds less trite and is infinitely more helpful! Not to mention 7 1//2 years of a beautiful and loving relationship.... sorry to go off topic here


Makelika_Utai
Posted

Well I've talked to my girlfriend about how I feel and she feels as if we aren't really moving towards anything. She has wanted me to move in with her after the 1st year of dating, but I wasn't really sure about it, so I didn't. And now that 2 yrs have gone by she feels as if were stuck and that we won't really grow as a couple anymore unless I move in with her and what not. She's been my first real relationship, my first one was with a guy but that was pretty much long distance so it just ended and I've dated a few people after that then I met her and she's been to me a real real relationship. Our love we have for one another is undeniable and it's that love where we feel complete with one another, at least that's how I feel, but I know her, she would be perfectly fine with or without me because she has a son and all she really needs to worry about and love is her son and herself. But I guess things will continue as they are for now good or bad, but thank you for your comments and help ladies.



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