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Malonda_De_Lynn_Orr

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Malonda_De_Lynn_Orr
Posted

Why do ex girlfriends wanna stay friends just to rub the fact that they are wit somone else in your face?


Nebelpfade
Posted

To "stay in good terms" id say. Some of my friends does that.


Posted

my ex did that. she knew when we started dating that if we broke up i would have to sever all contact in order to heal and get over her. but she calls it immature and says she has to stay friends with all her ex'es. and i know its just to rub it in, cause the only time she breaks up with someone is when she has someone else, and when she thought i was seeing someone else after telling me she wanted a break cause she couldnt trust herself, she got very upset and jealous.

i wish i knew the reason. just insecure and selfish.


Nebelpfade
Posted

Oh yeah, one of my friend does that, and she just can't take the next step afterwards, still clining into the relation for months. Man, I almost had to kick her in the butt to make her take the damn step forward. And right now, im glad she did it! But it took a long time... But then, me, I don't think it's actually mature to keep contacts, it can pretty much cause more pain and turn the fork into the wound.


Posted

yes, as it seems that the one who was unfaithful was the one to want to stay in contact. i am much happier now than i ever was with her, i just fooled myself into thinking she made me happy.

but i realise that better happiness comes from things which dont rely on someone else. as for some reason, theres too many people who dont have the right qualities about them to bring another happiness, the kind who are untrustworthy and selfish and ignorant..


jessicazylee
Posted

I think there's nothing wrong with remaining friends with ex's [I'm friends with all but one]. That being said, if there is an injured party/parties, there needs to be a time to seclude oneself to heal. If you do not feel comfortable remaining in contact, then say so.


jessicazylee
Posted

in addition, cheaters should always be cut off. This person sounds like one who always lines up something 'better' before they break it off, and may be trying to keep you on the backburner for if they need a break from dating and want to go back to something comfortable, before getting back into the game.

Don't let yourself be the backup. You have to be first.


Heather_Boone
Posted

Im usually friends with my ex's too... unless something horrible went wrong that is. but i also take a little time apart right afterwards due to the healing needed. but then again my amazing relationships are based on great friendships i refuse to lose and for sum reason i end up just a friend in the end neways...


Posted

jessica lee was right on the money i think. my ex just wanted to have her cake and eat it and hid behind the fact we broke it off so she couldnt be accused of cheating.
btw her name was jess. QQ


jessicazylee
Posted

unfortunately, that comment comes from experience.

jessica was the #1 girl's name of 1988 [when i was born], and has always been in the top 20.


Posted

i was born 1988 and i got shitty charlotte. i think jess is a nicer name.

but my ex is only 19 so i guess it was just one of those things. bah. shes a bitch anyway!!! &gt:O putting a nice name to shame.


Mercedes_Torres
Posted

its not always to rub it in your face. myabe they really enjoy your company, but maybe you two just arent compatible in a relationship. ive been in a fucked up situation kinda like that. im in love with my best friend, and she broke up with me, but we decided to remain friends. it all depends on how much you love the person, and your ability to cope. my best friend is the love of my life, and i know for a fact i cant live without her, so as much as id like to be with her, i know we arent compatible, so i just enjoy the friendship we share.


Posted

There's no 'answer', it differs between people and situations. Calling you immature for wanting to sever ties is immature in itself :/

In my opinion you both have to be mature about it for it to work. It depends why you're apart. If it hurts you to see her, then cut contact until you're over it, before thinking about staying friends, and don't let her guilt you out of it.

Wanting to stay friends implies that you still care about someone. If you think cutting contact will be better for you, as a friend she'd understand that and want whatever was best for you - because she cares.

Guilting you out of it - not for your sake but because she wants to be "friends" - is not caring about you or considering you at all, which means she isn't a friend. She's contradicting herself and being completely selfish. Purely wants it because its making her feel good in some way.

You're better off cutting contact. You don't need people like that anyway (:

If people break up because of bad circumstances then friendship can be great But at first you'll both be hurting a lot and both be volatile - one day you'll never want to speak to her again, the next you'll give anything to spend time with them - and she'll be the same. Its important you both accept that there will be arguments and you will 'hate' each other/cut contact sometimes. Once you're both over it though, its worth it.

I'm extremely tired and just rambling on so I'm sorry if this dosn't make a great deal of sense

Charlotte is an awesome name by the way ;o


Posted

you seem to undertsand this and phrase it better than i ever could. she would be too blind to realise she is immature, she has her cake and ate it.

thanks for the compliment to my name, i dont like it but im glad someone does!

youre a wise person and im glad theres girls like you out there, gives me hope that i may still find a great girlfriend for once

its easy to give up after you meet the dregs of society, the wolf in sheeps clothing.. im glad i came to this site, its helped me a lot and ive met nice people

i hope others in the same situation im in will read these comments and be helped by them too ^^ xx



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