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Lucy_Brading

Are bisexuals actually greedy? - Bi Bi Bi Women

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Posted

Just to say, I am really not trying to piss people off or get a huge backlash from this. But I want to explain how I feel and just see if I am the only one or not.

I live with my boyfriend, and we have been together for a while now, and I love our relationship and I won’t change it for the world. But other day he mentioned something he sometimes sees me doing, which is watching lesbian adult films, (I know some people will have a problem with this but that’s not what I want to disuse.).

I think sometimes it might upset him, because it’s like I am searching for something else. But I explained to that for me personally I want a relationship with someone I can cuddle up with a night and just share my life with, and I want to have sex with men, and sex with women. And with him I get the first two but not the last, and it’s like there is no way he can for fill my want to have sex with women.

I explained it as, I really like ...say pasta and I like chocolate but eating pasta will never for fill my need for chocolate. But does that not make me greedy, because even though I have an amazing relationship both emotional and sexually, there is still something else I want?

I am just interesting to know if other bisexual women who are in relationship with men feel the same, or not? And how they cope with these needs.


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Posted

I've felt that way before. I actually feel that way a lot with men, but I've been looking into that and think that it has a lot to do with not connecting emotionally with men as well as I do with women. Plus I have major trust issues, especially with men, whereas with women it's much easier for me.

I don't think it has anything to do with being greedy. It might make you question it, but there are a lot of people out there (bisexual or otherwise) who feel like they always have something missing in relationships (I know this from discussing it with people not speculation). Take polyamorists for instance - a lot of people feel they have the capacity to love more then one person (myself included) and different types of people connect with you in different ways. You can't expect someone to have everything.

As for the lesbian porn. If he is worried about you watching that he shouldn't be, plenty of people watch lesbian porn. Even some straight women watch it sometimes. It doesn't mean anything.


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Posted

Just to sort of give a bit more background.

I didn't even really realise I was bisexual until about a year ago, I think I just tryed not to think about and thought it was ok to be curtious and that I was just striaght. But then slowly I started to realise that there was something more than that.

In the past I haven't had the most amazing relationships with men and before I meant this guy I just deciced that for a while I didn't want to be with men anymore, although a month after making that decision I meant the guy I am with now and it just happened.

I think I have had problems with emotionally connecting in relationship before, but I do not feel that is a problem with the guy I am with now. And althought I have been with women sexually I have not been in a relationship with a women. Although I have had a time were this sexual relationship was with a female friend and things seemed to start overlapping and there just something so sensual about being with a women which I dont get with men.

I think maybe a lot of people feel they can love more than one person, but in your sociality, its not really accepted, which is rubbish.

I think its not the porn that is the problem, but that this the media in which he can see that I am looking for something else.

Thank you Bonnie for your input, it is great to hear about other similar situtaions to help me figure out how I feel.


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Renee_Pleasants
Posted

Again, I have known I was attracted to women since I was 11. Society always taught me that it was wrong to have those likes so I suppressed it. It wasnt until I met my first husband that he made me realise it was ok to have those feelings. He and I have since parted ways but my feelings for women have increased. I dated many a man thinking that is what was going to make everyone around me happy but just left me with a hole in my emotions. I can say I am 75% lesbian. The only 25% remains with my husband now to which he is COMPLETELY ok with me being bisexual. He says as long as I know who my true love is it is ok. I feel lucky but sometime feel as if I am being selfish in the fact that I love him so much and do not wanna lose him but again I would rather be with a woman. Its hard but as long as we are happy then that is how our marriage will remain.


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Tor_Saff
Posted

i know that feeling oh too well. it's not nice and the guys ive dated have never been understanding. i guess it was my mistake for trying to be "normal" - okay that sounds weird, basically i had my heart completely broken by the most beautiful women and i promised myself that i wouldnt let that happen again so i pretended i was straight and there has always been something missing. but yeah i know the feeling. just be true to yourself and dont let other people dictate what you want.


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Chrystal_Larsen
Posted

It's not greed.... think of it this way, it's no different than a guy who likes women, he's always looking... even if he says he's not. The curiosity is always there.... It's just that with bi's and pan's it's not curiosity is the longing for something that might be missing.... and I know how hard it can be. A guy who liked me and I liked refused to get involved with me because I was bi.... it hurt like hell. That was the only reason and for months maybe even a year I hated myself for it. I wanted to be with him so badly and he refused me because he was afraid I "might" leave him for a woman. It's hard.


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Chrystal_Larsen
Posted

It's not greed.... think of it this way, it's no different than a guy who likes women, he's always looking... even if he says he's not. The curiosity is always there.... It's just that with bi's and pan's it's not curiosity is the longing for something that might be missing.... and I know how hard it can be. A guy who liked me and I liked refused to get involved with me because I was bi.... it hurt like hell. That was the only reason and for months maybe even a year I hated myself for it. I wanted to be with him so badly and he refused me because he was afraid I "might" leave him for a woman. It's hard.


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Chrystal_Larsen
Posted

It's not greed.... think of it this way, it's no different than a guy who likes women, he's always looking... even if he says he's not. The curiosity is always there.... It's just that with bi's and pan's it's not curiosity is the longing for something that might be missing.... and I know how hard it can be. A guy who liked me and I liked refused to get involved with me because I was bi.... it hurt like hell. That was the only reason and for months maybe even a year I hated myself for it. I wanted to be with him so badly and he refused me because he was afraid I "might" leave him for a woman. It's hard.


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