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Alexandra_Lundquist

I Hate Being Bisexual - Bi Bi Bi Women

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Alexandra_Lundquist
Posted

I really need some help. Like the title says, I am starting to hate being bi. The reason is, I get crap from everybody who find out. Not just heterosexual people, but HOMOsexual people! I have made a following list of the common things I hear and why they are false:

1. I am confused
If I get that pleasurable warm feeling in the pit of my stomach when I see a guy or a girl I am attracted to, how is that confusion? It's not just psychological. I get a physical response.

2. It is just experimenting
I thought this at first, but this isn't the case. I have been with females, so I know what it is like, so therefore there is nothing left to experiment with. I still feel this way about girls.

3. I am desperate
Hardly. I don't get with every person that shows interest in me whether they are male or female. Being desperate has nothing to do with sexuality. I have seen plenty of straight people go with the first thing that gives them any attention.

4. I just want someone to love me.
No shit, Sherlock! Of course I want someone to love me. Doesn't everyone on the planet?

I am so frustrated I do not know what to do. And even if I choose to be with a guy, that won't change the fact that I am attracted to women. I wish there was someway to change...


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Alyssa_Selbrede
Posted

The backlash I get from the LGBT community for being bisexual is sometimes worse than the heterosexual community, which at first blew my mind. The response I hate getting the most is "Well, you're going to have to choose eventually", like if I marry a guy or girl I will suddenly be either straight or gay.

It's not easy being bisexual. But I figure, the only way you get around that is by lying. And the whole reason I'm out, and proud, is to avoid lying, as much as being bisexual sucks sometimes.

If you ever want to talk- I'm here. A sense of solidarity among bisexuals is what I crave the most, because we're the only ones that understand, and it can be so difficult finding acceptance from others.


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Cynthia_Smith
Posted

u can help who u are in any way and so far as the people who talk shit let them u dont have respond to any shit about u are or what u like do u and fuck anyone who doesnt like it


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jessicazylee
Posted

Ooooh biphobia.. I think made a ranting blog entry upon this.
http://boilercamp.us/blog/jessicazylee/biphobia-and-bi-invibility

anyhow, as with any other group, there is an overwhelming pressure to conform to an identity, since it as seen as the way to combat the the pressure of the majority to conform to their standards... ironic, isn't it? The gay community's norm is white twinky homosexual male... and white butch lesbian. bisexuals, non-whites, and trans and genderqueer have a hard time going through it.

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Posted

I totally get what you're saying-a lot of people get freaked out when they find out I'm bi. And it's worse with family members, they do they whole "she's just experimenting" thing and don't take it seriously when you say you LIKE GIRLS. Hang in there, sweetie.


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Posted

just be you... period. my motto is " only god can judge me... the rest of you can kiss my .." stop worrying bout what people think...people talk shit honey, good or bad, so you may as well be who u are, cuz they gonna talk shit either way.. be strong girl!!


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Posted

Make yourself happy. You know what you want(u know you really do) and go with it. Life is too short, have fun with it. And who cares what anybody else says. BE HAPPY.


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Posted

i feel the exact same way; and i thought by getting married i was choosing to be straight but it doesn't stop the physical attraction. that just doesn't go away; so i would get caught lookin at other women (sometimes you can't help it). now everything's all messed up. sorry i can't offer you any advice; since i have no idea about it myself. but hopefully one day; we won't care about what other's think or say. im here if you wana talk too


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Posted

I agree with all the ladies who have said be yourself and stuff everyone else. I used to hate being bisexual too because I'd get abused and my life was threatened many times, but now I know that I can't change it and those people who have a problem with it usually do because they have their own issues and insecurities.

You need to embrace who you are. You know you're not confused. You know you're not desperate. You know this is part and parcel of who you are so if anyone in your life can't accept that maybe they shouldn't be apart of it.

And yes it sucks that we also get it from both sides, but the same goes with the people in the queer community, if a homosexual gives you crap about it, again it's usually because they have their own insecurities and issues. Don't let those people put their problems onto you and make it your own.

Also don't forget that there are a lot of bisexuals out there who know where you're coming from and what you're going through. You're not alone in this.


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Posted

Being Bi is an identity. I understand all the pain that others can cause for you. I am bi also. I have a husband who is very good to me and I am faithful to him. People think that if I like women and men that I can't be faithful, but being bi just means I am attracted to both sex, not that I am a slut. My family thinks that I am going to hell and it hurts, but it doesn't matter. People always have to complain about something.
I am sorry that it is so hard, but I do understand, and so do others.


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Sarah_Barton_36519
Posted

You've pretty much said EXACTLY what I've been saying to one of my friends. And Alyssa,

"The response I hate getting the most is "Well, you're going to have to choose eventually", like if I marry a guy or girl I will suddenly be either straight or gay."

THANK YOU! That's what I always said!

Nice to see I'm not alone in this. Not that having more people feeling this way really makes it better, but it's just nice to know there are other people finding the same thing.


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Natika_Williams
Posted

dam i kNow how u feel my lesbiaN frieNd used 2 tell me all the time i was koNfuzed Nd alot of ppl i kNew would tell me i have 2 choose N i couldNt b faithful..but i love beiNg bi N wouldNt waNt it eNe other way..i just stoppd haNgiNg out with the ppl whio told me all that krap im happier with ppl who except me


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jessicazylee
Posted

I think a number of bisexuals are more open to those who are transgender or genderqueer because it isn't necessarily as much of an identity issue for them. For example, I know a biological female identify lesbian who is currently having many identity issues, since her partner is a biological female identify transgender who is currently female bodied but considering surgery.


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Alexandra_Lundquist
Posted

Thank you guys for all of your support. I really appreciate it. I need to love myself and not listen to ignorant people. You have all given great advice ( :


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Posted

fuck wat ppl say and be you. your beautiful and got a whole life ahead of u so dnt worry bout other ppls. I love being bisexual and da haterz could kiss my ass


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