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Natika_Williams

quik questioN - Bi Bi Bi Women

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Natika_Williams
Posted

so im New 2 this sight but....im bi I've alwayz kNowN i was bi but No1 kNows but close family aNd frieNds aNd lately ive beeN waNtiNg aNother g/f but my mom/frieNds doNt kNow. does eNe1 have eNe ideas wat i should do?


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Posted

It is possible to have a relationship without them knowing. If you're wanting another one, how did you work around them not knowing before? Could you do that again or has the situation changed?

I wasn't able to have a full blown relationship when my Mum and family didn't know, but I was able to date a little bit and as far as anyone was concerned we were just friends. I guess it also depends on if your partner is happy with keeping it low key and a secret for the time being until you're ready to let everyone know. There are people who understand out there so that shouldn't be too much of an obstacle.


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Bree_Owens
Posted

HEY FRIENDS,I M VERY NEW TO THIS SITE AND I THINK I LOVE THIS SITE.I M BREE,I M 20,I M BI AND I M VERY SINGLE AND LOOKING.


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Tamika_Taylor
Posted

I almost find it hard either way that hiding relationships is hard because when it comes to talking about guys and girls or people wanting to hook you up with someone, it's like if you tell them you are with a girl, they are either okay with it or resentful. I hope it all works out with you because I've been down that road and for me, it's like no one cares... and it's in a bad way.


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Cynthia_Smith
Posted

if your with a guy they thinks it hot but if your a girl their feel like they dont anyone other then them to have u at a time thats just how i see it


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Natika_Williams
Posted

ya im afriad 2 tell my mom N my family kuz they always makeN fuN of lesbians N i get so mad but im afraid theyre goiNg 2 judge me..i wish i kould tell em but i have No idea how they're goiNg 2 reakt..wheN i did date they thought she was just my frieNd but i waNt a relationship where i kaN take her around my family but at the same time i doNt it just really sucks!


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Posted

Ah I see, sounds like you have to decide to go either one way or the other - keeping it hidden or being out in the open. It's never nice being in that middle area and it's too stressful to stay there long. Have you ever had any conversations with your mum about the blgt community? Not about you, but in general? A few of my friends did some investigating before coming out in that they questioned their family to see their reaction. Have you given that one a go?


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Posted

Sorry Nakita, I just realised you mentioned your family make fun of lesbians so I guess my last post isn't going to help unless you do it in such a way that you try to change their point of view without them knowing it, but that can take some time (I do that with people and depending on the person it can sometimes take a couple of years or more). If you don't have the patience I'd recommend still doing it, but by pointing things out more (basically trying to get them to see it from someone else's point of view). Otherwise I don't know what you could do. It's one of those situations where you're going to have to pick one or the other eventually. Just take your time with it and really make sure what ever you decide is what you want to do. You're the one that has to live your life as well so even though it's a relief when you're family can accept you for you, if they can't the most important person is yourself (saying that though there are times when family members are against blgt orientation, but will deal with it because they love that person).

Good luck Nakita and I hope it works out for you.


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Natika_Williams
Posted

thaNkz alot BoNNie it meaNs alot 2 me sum1 aktually trying 2 help me out with this ill try my best aNd i mite have 2 just kome out sooN ikaNt haNdle it eNe more......


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Tamika_Taylor
Posted

People who make fun of lesbian are just as ignorant as people who make fun of fat people like me. There's no such world as accepting people equally regardless of any ethnic issue. I think I'm looked at more with my image than my sexuality simply because of two things: no one asks me and I don't talk about it until a subject similar to it comes up. I can understand that insecurity of not being open to family and friends but I'm pretty certain that friends are less obligated to not give a rat's ass who you love as long as you are happy with them. That has been my experience and I'm happy to call my friend's my "second family." Other than that, I just hope that you find it in your heart to love someone and if it means losing the people you've known longer, I just hope they realize what kind of person they will be disconnecting themselves from because I bet you are a person that someone looks up to.


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Natika_Williams
Posted

thaNkz tamika really appreciate it


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Tamika_Taylor
Posted

^_^ No problem.


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