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Heather_Peach

how do i explain to my mom and sisters i dont hit on every girl i see!! - Bi Bi Bi Women

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Posted

hi everyone, im heather im a 18 year old bisexual, i have known for as long as i can remember. i came out to my dad, who said he already knew, and i was happy, but when i told my mom and siblings they were verry upset. my sisters think just because ur a bi/lez that u will hit on every girl you see and thats not how it is and i have tryed to explain it. when i told my mom when i was 14 she got upset and put me in foster care, i was there till i was 18. im happy with who i am but i feel like my family on my moms side is alwasy nervouse around me and i alwasy dread going over to see them. i want my family to understand my point of veiw and iv tried everything, what do i do????? please help

Heather


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Kimberley_Henderson
Posted

Hi Heather i am happy to hear you are comfortable with yourself. i think you made the right chose telling your family. I feel if you need to give them time and if they cant accessed you for you its they lost.


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Posted

i am also bisexual and my situations alittle different than yours, however, when dealing with my family, or even close friends... i always tell them, i am not asking for your APPROVAL.. i am asking foryour ACCEPTANCE. you dont need them to like the situation, you need them to love and respect you, in spite of it... stay strong sweety... you can do this. you be who you are... PERIOD


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Posted

If you want help explaining how it is, just use the reverse. Put them in your shoes. Just because a person is straight, does not necessarily mean they will hit on everyone of the opposite sex that they cross, like wtf?


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Tamika_Taylor
Posted

I would almost be offended if some told me that when I'm the type of person who wouldn't make myself look like a player, regardless if I'm in a relationship. I would almost find it funny for people to make an offset assumption if that's what they think being bisexual means.


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Posted

I am so sorry that you have to go through this Darling. Sometimes life doesn't seem fair. Its the ones we love the most that can hurt us the most. my family doesn't like it that I am Bi also. They think I am going to hell. I have one sister and a brother that do except me this way, but my other brother and the rest of my family don't. I hear all the time from them, that they are praying for me that God will forgive my sins.
If you need to talk let me know. We are here for you Hun.


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Tamika_Taylor
Posted

Tami,
I'm going through the same dilemma. My father emailed my mother yesterday about how he hoped that my mother was proud for raising me and my sister for all the things that was shown on our facebook. The thing is, the only stuff that was he saw was on my profile page and since he couldn't look at my sister's, he assume that she was doing the same thing. Apparently, this has been going on for years and my mom only informed me about some things... only if it were about me. He saw my interested in women but he didn't see that I was also interested in men. So he assumed that I was a lesbian, not bisexual. Even he has this motion of that I need to be saved for my wicked ways and turning back to God. And no offense to anyone who are devotees of Jesus Christ, he succumbed to being another Jesus freak in my life. I don't want that for the rest of my family. I careless about what he has to say but I don't want him interfering in my relationship with my girlfriend. She's the only good thing I have in a relationship and I can't lose her over the things he does. One of my brothers on my father's side knows about my sexuality and my relationship he's the only person that I trust in my family. I've told another relative on my mom's side of the family but I have yet to tell anyone else and if I have to risk losing them because of who I'm with, I hate to say it but, so be it.


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Posted

Well, I wish I could say there was a good way to help them understand, hun. But honestly if they choose not to understand, there's no way to MAKE them. They will simply have to accept it on their own or not. It's a horrible way for it to be, especially since the common sense in it is that it's the same rules for a heterosexual person. But, unfortunately, a lot of people don't see homoesxuality/bisexuality as being on the same wave length as heterosexuality- they see it more as a perversion or a problem.

I am happy to hear that you are comfortable with yourself, because that is one of the hardest steps for all of us. And I wish you luck- just know that you always have people looking out for you.

As it is, my family still treats it as a phase- even my mother, who has a gay brother whom she loves and accepts. *shrugs* What can I say, people will think what they like.


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Tamika_Taylor
Posted

That's true. My mom has a gay relative (even though he hides it very well) she's accepting of my sexuality but it kind of hurt when she even thought I was a lesbian. >_


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