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Bisexuality not real? - Bi Bi Bi Women

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Posted

My gay friend doesn't believe anyone can be bisexual and we have arguments about it sometimes. I know that I like men and women the same, so why do so many people think they know about bisexuality when they themselves aren't bisexual?


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Sarah_Barton_36519
Posted

I've heard this a lot before too, and I think some of it has to do with the fact that you don't "see" it very often. When you see two people dating, it's two guys, two girls, or a guy and a girl. You see two of the same sex, and assume gay. Opposite sexes, we assume straight. While that may not always be the case, it seems like the assumption happens (maybe not consciously) most of the time. There's also the fact that many people will go from saying that they're bi, to eventually saying they're gay. Quite often, people coming to terms with their sexuality will at first identify as bisexual, and then start to identify as gay. I have seen this happen so much with people that I know, that I begin to question my own sexuality (weird place to be).

Do you get the comments about how we're just "confused"? Or that we're just "in denial" or coming halfway out of the closet? 'Cause I've definitely heard that before...


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Posted

i get the same stuff. and you would think that people in a group who themselves have been wrongfully judged and or discriminated against wouldnt do that to any other group?? they do. and its wrong. dont question who you are guys.. i am 42, and i know who i am. there is nothing wrong with being bisexual. like they say... you cant control who, or what sex you love right??? i am tired of it too. but you cant change people. and they cant change us...we are who we are. my motto is, only god can judge me, the rest of you can kiss my ass.... stay strong ladies... be you!!!!!


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Alyssa_Selbrede
Posted

Being the black sheep of the gay community irritates the crap out of me.
The comment that I hate hearing is "well you're going to have to choose sometime." Like, if I end up marrying a guy I'm suddenly straight, and no longer attracted to women, or vice versa. It's ridiculous.


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Posted

Yes, the main thing I always hear is that I am confused and that I am dating a girl right now so it makes me a lesbian. Its like they are trying to say that if I really was bisexual, I would be dating both sexes at the same time! Its so ridiculous! Tawnya, I feel the same way, I would expect other gays to understand this issue and they seem to have the same mind frame as everyone else.


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Posted

yep. i just dont understand... it makes no sense to discriminate against a different group, when you are the different group. apparently there were no lessons learned. and YOU WILL NEVER GET ACCEPTANCE, UNTIL YOU GIVE ACCEPTANCE... so hopefully things will change, but probably not in my lifetime... i know tho that im not going to pretend im something im not. i am what i am, love me or hate me. makes no difference.


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Tamika_Taylor
Posted

I don't really get that or maybe it's because I'm not in the right place to have the same discussion with people. The most reactions I get are "I didn't know you were bisexual." At this point, I think the label should be discarded and it should be based on who you love whether it is a man or a woman. If a person feels happier with a man then they can be with men. If they feel happier with a woman, then they can be with women. It's all about love in this group and we all have a want and need. Being happy with someone shouldn't be such a big issue. Someone told me this once and they were right. I'm proud to be bisexual but the sexuality topic never shows up until that person talks about relationships and then that's when I bring up the fact that I'm a bisexual girl dating another bisexual girl. We both love one another and have gone through trial and tribulation of both sexes but it doesn't mean that something could change (at least that's how I see it.) Being bisexual, to some, it's about choosing sides. That's what I thought it was. I haven't had a girlfriend in four years because of a loss of one hit me really hard. So anyone can choice who they should end up with but in the end, it's only a matter of the needs of your heart.


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Very interesting, very real issue, ladies. I am bisexual, queer, whatever. I know that I don't feel I will marry a man again, but perhaps I would marry a woman. That STILL doesn't make me a lesbian. I hate that talk about, "Well, if you're Bi, you're wishy-washy, straddling the fence, etc. too. Why are we on the LGBTQI platform if it didn't matter? It IS a viable sexual orientation. I LOVE oral sex. I PREFER women, I don't have intercourse with men. But if a cute guy wanted me to just suck his dick, I just might take him up on it, because I like it. On occasion I like watching straight people have sex. If I was in a threesome, I would participate with BOTH the man and woman...I would want the woman to have her way COMPLETELY with me, I would encourage the man and woman if they were having sex and touch/kiss/lick both of them, I would have oral sex with him if it was OK with his partner, but I would not let him penetrate me. However, I cannot deny that I'm attracted to the man, even if I prefer the woman. Sometimes, I feel like a male gay bottom that likes oral sex and doesn't want a straight guy. Once in a blue moon, Maybe I'd like a gay/bi man to have sex with me...perhaps not vaginal sex...perhaps anal sex on occasion...some people might view that odd, but that is how I FEEL. Every bisexual has a story to tell, and each one's story is NOT the SAME, and rightly so. We have to stand up for what we believe in. It's OK if some of us become lesbian. I might.(meaning, exclusively date women for the rest of my life). But even so, I would still identify with bi/queer people, because I can RELATE. Hey, has anybody read The Bisexual's Guide to the Universe?


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Posted

See I think relating is different though because anyone can just relate and they dont feel that they really are bisexual.


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Posted

mmm...the bisexual's guide to the universe...who wrote that?

I am a Bisexual female, who is married to a male.... I do not like to give head, I have no problem giving my husband a hand job, but when it comes to putting pepe in my mouth I can't... its not so much that it disgusts (sp?) me, I just have a really bad habbit of bitting guys >_


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Posted

its been a while since I've had sex with a girl, so I dont know if that would make me more relaxed or not so that i could actually cum. I get close but I feel pain instead of joy or sweet release....
*frowns rubbing her forehead*

iI've had the occasional gf since i've been with my husband but nothing that ever made it past kissing....bleh...
Im just going to shut up now >_


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Posted

Wow this conversation is one for the books Ladies


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Posted

Hi Samantha, maybe that was a poor choice of words. But I can't tell people I'm a lesbian, because the male attraction is there. So I'm bisexual, because I am attracted to both sexes, even though the attraction is not equal. And many lesbians believe that we have to choose because they think we'll see a great guy and leave them for the guy. It doesn't work that way. Bisexuals can be monogamous. Hell, I might leave her for another woman! lol i'm new to the lifestyle, and still don't have a lot of experience in the female department. But I know I want women. So I'm a 40+ girl that feels like a kid in the candy store when it comes to women. The Bisexual's Guide to the Universe is a little tome by Nicole Kristal and Mike Szymanski. It is funny, but "thorough and celebratory." Both authors are bisexual, and they discuss all the different scales that have been used to measure one's sexuality. Kinsey is only one of the scales they use. Hollie, wow I'm sorry you don't orgasm during sex. A pox on that guy who bit your clit! This is really interesting...


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Posted

i think we are getting away from the point. bisexuality is different for each person i suppose, but just speaking for myself, i am not into sharing, which is i believe, where bisexuals get such a bad rap. if i am in a relationship with someone, whether it be male or female.. i personaly dont want to share that person... i believe that where people get confused, and again, speaking for myself? BISEXUAL DOES NOT MEAN BOTH SEXES.. AT THE SAME TIME!!??? all it means is i am attracted to SOME of each sex... NOT ALL>> just some.but certainly not at the same time. now please dont get me wrong, i have had the occassional 3somes, but i would never do that if i was in a commited relationship. with either sex... bisexual doesnt mean promiscuous either, which again, i think people in general get that confused.. BISEXUAL DOESNT MEAN IM KINKY< SLUTTY> OR A WHORE, it simply means i am attracted to SOME members of each sex. PERIOD!!


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Posted

Yea I'm always hearing how bisexuals are slutty and tend to cheat more often. I just find it funny coming from gays who have their own similar reputations.


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Posted

You can still have both at the same time...just because you choose not to doesn't mean that others choose the same way...*stiffles a tired yawn*
and yes I do tend to get off topic *taps her head* if you've read any of my other posts you'd know why...
Honestly, I don't see anyything wrong with sharing... my husband is straight, but because of the way I've *frowns* how can I put this.....from teh begining of our relationship, I told Pat (my husband) that the only way our relationship would work is if he would allow me to have girlfriend(s). He said that was fine, he also knows that I might not necessarily find a bi gf and that he would have to settle than with sharing me with a lesbian and he has no prblem with it.

I have told him on occassion (because I am ill) that if he ever has a need that I can't provide for him because I am to ill/incapable(Sp?) of it that he is welcome to go find a gf of his own... in the *frowns* mmm...4 yrs9?) we've been together I've only ever found one gf and she was here near me, but *rubs her forehead* we were just in two different worlds I guess (She was too young, though she didn't care that I have a son and a husband, she herself had/has a bf)

ugh brb


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Posted

*rubs her forehead*....great now I totally forgot where I was going.... ugh!! such is the life of someone who spends most days medicated...


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Posted

hey?? i wasnt judging or saying you shouldnt.. if you RE READ my post, i said SPEAKING FOR ME/ no judgements or anything. you do whatever works for you. i was just speaking for MY OWN PERSONAL situation. calm down, iwould never pass judgement on anyone. SO NOT MY STYLE... didnt mean to offend anyone. i again was speaking for myself. my motto is... ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE ME... THE RESTOF YOU CAN KISS MY .... so i would never do that to anyone else. i apologize if you misunderstood. you be who you are babe!!!


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Posted

*taps her head* I was going somewhere with what I was writting before, but than I had to go do something *frowns* and when I came back I couldn't remember what I was getting at...no I am not mad at you, I am just having a really bad fuckin day....*rubs her head* I cant even take my meds right now to ease some of the issues, and other things that are going on that makes it retardedly hard to think straight....if I'm mad at anyone I am ad at myself

though I think what I was trying to say is that everyone is different (which I know is what you were sayin -I think *groans*) and I was using my situation as an example for the sharing part...

I am not a God person at all... I am strongly AETHIEST (thats not even how I grew up, I was babtised (whoever the fuck you spell that) went to church bla bla bla...) than I realised if there is a god than why is everythin so fucked up? why doesn't he follow his own ex of turn the other cheek, why are people still suffering for something Adam and Eve did?)) anywyas....I think I need to shut up now before I really get myself innto more trouble....

*disappears into the darkness for a while*


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Posted

try to be strong hon.. sounds like you need a friend... not medication. im here if ya ever wanna talk. friend me, then mail me. dont dissapear into the darkness. dance in the warmth of the sun!!!!


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Posted

Well said, Tawnya, well said! We ARE all different . That's the point. And for the record, whether you be gay, straight, lesbian, queer, or transgender, any of those orientations have their sluts and whores,(read, promiscuous). Certain couples can have committed AND open relationships, others cannot. There are rules. There is the consideration of people's feelings and emotions. People need to be honest and forthright about who they are. Communication is key. That's it. Women, let's keep this on topic. How many of you attend LGBTQI Pride Events? Do you feel our agenda needs to be better represented and supported--and the bisexual myths de-mystified and challenged?


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I have never attended one...I haven't even been down to the community center here...as for needing "friends" I now once again only Pat and....*sighs* thats it...I had two "friends" in the trailer park, on I would go so far as to say she is/was the best female friend I have ever had (I don't use the term loosely)

*laguhs darkly about the comment of her not needing med* hun, you wouldn't want to see me unmedicated....I take meds for two reasons 1) so I dont completely lose my mind (is bipolar) and 2) pain medication to help ease the pain I am...I'll give you the short version, my body is acting as if I already have cancer, but all my tests are showing up negative (I will get cancer, my APC gene is mutated and causes precancerous growths in my digestive tract)

so yes I spend much of my time in darkness....
*went off topic*

I like the idea of an open relationship...I wish Pat would find a gf or I could find someone to share with him...*gnaws on her cheek and disappears back into the darkness, hoping that it rains tomorrow*


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Sierra_Brown
Posted

well then lesibians dont count or gays or bi's or anything for that matter they r just lables im what u would call bisexual i love men and i love women. thats it . im not on the fence im not wishy washy im not bistupid or confused i know what i want at the moment like everyone else sometimes i feel like a dick some times i dont , i keep both seperate if im with a chick then im with her and if im with a man then im with him people just need to grown the hell up i dont knock anyone for what they do and dont do thats them and im me get the fuck over it!!!


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Posted

*cocks her head to the side* to each their own...I love both...I love seeing Pat naked, I love seeing women naked, I like a woman's body with curves, and I have to admit I am a huge fan of tits and a nice ass, but EYES I love eyes.... I have a huge thing for eyes
*frowns and rubs her forehead*
I think I might've gotten off topic...*rubs her forehead*


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