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Callie_Jo_Williams

Ever had your Heart broken so bad that you didn't know what to do? - Lesbian Ladies

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Posted

Alot of us have been in love and have felt the pain and hurt of that break up in mayn different ways. But when your heart gets broken to the point that you can't even look at another girl and find her attractive or anything like that what are you suppose to do? Or when your heart gets broken that bad that you can't feel yourself even have a heart beart or a pulse but in all actuality you do? Well I will tell you right now I have had this happen to me twice in my life and it has totatlly sucked ass to be haonest with you. So I am asking you all what some of your opinions and thoughts are and if you have personally ever gone through something like this. So I hope to hear back from you.

Laters Callie


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Kim_Lew
Posted

Definitely. What's worse, you think you're one of those lucky couples who are high school sweethearts, but later she tells you that she still loves you but wants to pretty much fool around with other people...

Is monogamy really not all that valued anymore?

I hurt in a way that makes me wary of people in general now... It's difficult to know my problem, but not being able to deal with it properly... I always questions if friends actually want to spend time with me anymore, partly because of them going to other unis, but also from her complete turn around.


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Allison_Rademacher
Posted

when my girlfriend broke up with me i pritty much fell to peices. i had loved her so much, i still love her, pritty sure that will never change. she was just going thru alot of things that i cant realy blame her for not wanting to be in a relationship at the time it was just hard. i didnt know how ide make it thru another day, let alone another moment.
ever since i havent been willing to trust people easily, havent wanted to let anyone get that close again. seems kinda childish but i dont want to be that broken again.


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Posted

it is the worst feeling ever.

I went out with this girl (my first gf) and i was totally in love with her.
she was my world and more
everyday i'd wake up happier than the day before because of her.
until one day she told me that she thought she was straight...
and that she started having feelings for some guy.

she left me the day she told me

my heart shattered.
and for a whole year, i was depressed.
and i didnt really eat and the doctor told me i was underweight.
that ugly feeling i had of heart break completely ruined my life.

but..time went on, and i just let it go.
_i will always love her. no matter what.
but at the same time,
she wont hold me back.

All you need to do is give it a lot of time for your heart to heal because
anything else wont work. trust me.
lots of time and lots of patience.

i hope this helps in a way.

-ceee


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Kim_Lew
Posted

Hey guys (or girls rather), is it just a phenomemon or something? Will firsts always have a hold (in a way) over us? I think that I will forever be affectionate towards her, despite everything...

And man, I'm sorry that happened to you. It's not nice at all to be part of someone's "phase".
Thank you Ceee, for sharing your healing?


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Posted

WOW! I never thought about really looking at in any of the ways that are described here. Because when I got left the first time by a girl I was with for two in a half years and was going to marry, we decided to share another girl that lived forever away from us it seemed like and my actually girlfriend that lived with me broke up with me because she said she had fallen in love with the girl we shared and then no more then ten minutes later the girl her and I shared pretty much said the same thing.

And than after that ya I dated here and there you know but I couldn't allow myself to love again is what it felt like and than I met a girl that completely captrured my heart and I allowed myself to fall in love with her and than she left me and told me that she was attracted to this other girl and wanted to have the chance to see where it was going to go that way she didn't cheat on me and I thought to myself well that is a good reason but it still hurt like hell. And hell i still love her till this day and I am always wondering what we could of had or could still have but I don't think that I will ever get her back and Im not as lucky as she is to have girls want to be with me and all that good stuff.


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Posted

I can't really give advice anymore cuz its hard to feel when you're emotionally numb but you'll always have love for those who you really cared about.. its just degrees but doesn't the feeling of keeping some part of you locked away from others keeps you from enjoying life and finding someone better..

Just ignore me v.v


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Ky_Sadler
Posted

I discovered I have a drug and alcohol problem from bein broken up with recently. I knew I had problems but not as extensively as I do. Yes I am getting help with it and everything but that is what seemed to drive me to it. Was when my girl broke up with me. And it was done through text. I read those words and immediately thought of where I was going to get high next. Scary thoughts. I would take not eating or not being able to get out of bed or even crying my eyes out over what I went through with her.

To the people who live through heart ache the way I see it is the girl or guy that is meant for you will possess all the ability to shatter and destroy your world and would sooner die than let you down.

They are worth all the heart ache in the world. Because once you find them every day will be better than the last.

Your past is simply that. YOUR PAST. and something to get past. Nothing will change that. It maks you who you are. The right person will see beyond your past, love your present, and hope for your future.


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Posted

It took my mom to physically pick me up out of bed and tell me "Callie Fucking Jo you need to get up and stop letting her get to you this way. Your stronger than that. Plus you have homework to do and if you don't do it than you are going to fuck up what you have ahead of you." I think about these words everyday and they help me get through it all. But no matter what the girl that destroyed me and demolished my world is still the one that I love with all of me. Even though I know that she doesn't see it I hope that one day she does. But to me when she realizes what she lost and gave up, it will be to late and she won't be able to have it back at all.

I totally agree the past is simply the past and that is where it should stay. But see you also got to think to yourself which parts of my past have followed me since I thought I left them? And when you come to realize that it will be a lot easier to deal with in the end because we all learn from our mistakes one way or another and sometime it takes us longer to get over things. But hell we all still do it.

Heart ache is something that no should feel I think but I know that it is a part of life and that life throws us curve balls every day that we don't want or expect and the only thing that we can do is try to get through them the best way we know how. That and I think that it is time for most of us to let time take control and allow it to what its going to do. Because everything good and bad in life happens for reasons that we don't understand nor can control so why not just stop look the hell around and start to allow things to fall how they may.


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Naomi_Chavaree
Posted

I guess my story is a bit different. I was madly in love with this girl. She was like perfect to me. But after we started dating after awhile, she just turned crazy. She was completely controlling and had to know where I was, what I was doing alll the time. At some points when we would get into fight, she would threaten to kill herself..... fucking head case. She broke my heart, because she was just fake and pretended to be the person I fell in love with. I'm still not the same after that relationship. I'm always on guard and have a hard time letting people in.......


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Posted

Well since you want to hear some stories on extreme heart break.. ill tell you my story. I was dating this girl. I tend to be attracted and date the wrong girls. The anger issue type. My now ex.. ah hard relationship from the start. but i was determined to make it work with her. She had cheated on me with a dude and then with a close friend for over a month.. She was terrible to me. Making everything my fault, always in my face, controlling everything i did. After all of that i had broken up with her. After we broke up.. i didnt feel like myself at all. I changed from a bubbly chick, to an emotionless yet emotional person. I felt like my heart turned black.. I was cold to everyone. I cried all the time. I wrote some awesome poetry from the experience though. But after her i was seeing this girl.. i was a jerk. I didnt care about this girls feelings at all. I used her. Which isnt something i would do. Im a passionate relationship type, and it scared me. I was too scared to trust.. so i would push her away. Now eight months since ive dated her.. back to normal for the most part.. but still not completely over her. Even after everything she did.. i still feel. Not sure why.
after this girl i couldnt think of ever being in a relationship again.. she made me unable to trust.. it sucks that someone can change a person.. i was hopeing i could just get over it and move on.. But now im single.. and lookingg ha


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Posted

Well see I totally know what you mean, I was dated this one girl for 9 months and she cheated on me with a christan boy who just happened to be my best friend and than she cheated on me with one of my ex gf's who happened to be really close to me and that when on for almost three months. But I stayed with her because just like you I was determined to make it work no matter what it took. Well we gotten over all that bad and we were doing good until she told me two months before we broke up that she was pg. I set everything aside for this girl and made her my main focus in everything I had no social life any more and that seems to happen with a lot of the girls I have dated and it sucks. She was my pride and joy and I gave her eveything. And well when her and I broke up I was an emotional rollercoaster ride and didn't think that I would ever date some one again and it is a shitty feeling but you know what life throws us curves balls everyday that we don't want to deal with but guess what we do that and life and time are going to do what they want to do and make things fall how they may and there is no point in trying to stop it or change it because there is no point in trying to change or stop something that is meant to happen because it will just make everything else worse.


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Posted

I can relate, I suppose. The reason I say "suppose" is for the simple fact that the girl that I fell hardest for, well, we didn't have a chance to date. If we had, I'd like to think that things would be different now. . .

She and I met in 10th grade. Of course, she was bisexual, and had a boyfriend at the time, but. . . I loved her. Despite how much I warned myself not to let myself fall so easily as I had two years before with a girl that broke my heart, I couldn't help myself. And fate would have us become inseparable in school; we were together whenever we had the chance to be. Come to find out, she loved me, too.

I thought everything was going great. For a while, it was. And then. . . Her boyfriend broke up with her, she broke up with the gf that she couldn't stand, and both of her ex's, on the same day, hooked up.
. . .
Delissa was never the same. . .

She still had me, though. Long story short, she became my everything; I was nothing without her. We talked every day, even over the summer. We planned our whole lives together, from then, to college, to getting married and having a little girl. . . Then one day I find out that she's had a boyfriend via myspace, and never told me.

The two of them were off and on for a while. Then she got with Trey, who I'd met in Art class during 9th grade, and they became engaged. She was still telling me that she loved me and wanted to be with me, yet she was engaged to someone else. . . I panicked. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to be there with her. But our parents were always in the damn way. I was helpless.
All I could do was wait, and talk, and listen. She would go weeks without talking to me. Everyday of that week, I died a little more inside; I kept wondering if "today" would "be the day" that the wedding would take place, and she would no longer be mine in any and every way, I wondered if she was with him, experiencing the girl I loved in a way that I never could, etc.

I hated it. But I held on. She and Trey broke up though, much to my relief, and everything afterwards just. . . Urg. She said that I was someone that she THOUGHT she loved, someone that she'd fucked up without meaning to, etc. . . And that we should just be friends for the rest of our lives. I became suicidal.
She called me one night, right when I was about to overdose, and stopped me. Delissa made me promise, in tears, that I wouldn't do anything stupid, especially over her. After that, well. . . I. . . Would rather not remember the two years after that.

Recently she became engaged to another boy, whose so much like me that it's not even funny (personality wise, mind you), and she's with child. It's a girl. And guess what this little girl's middle name is?
The same middle name that Delissa and I had chosen for OUR little girl.


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Posted

WOW WOW WOW WOW!!!!!! I honestly for the first time in a long time don't know what to say to that situation. Honey that is mesed up it really is and I am so totally sorry that happened to you. But you got to be strong and let it go it may hurt for a long while but you can't hold onto what is not there. There is no point in trying to chase after something that is just imaginary. It will help ease the pain but the hurt will still remain and I know that it sucks to know that it will still be ther but you gotta keep your head up no matter what


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Posted

Callie-dearest, it's been THREE (going on four, now, actually) years; I actually just got over it in '09. How do I know?

Simple. I can look at her picture now without crying. Instead, I'm able to smile and mean it when I say that I'm happy for her. And I am; there's just so many different ways that it could've gone differently, and it sucks. For that reason, I still hate my grandparents. That's TWO relationships that they've ruined for me.


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Posted

OH well I didn't know that it happened that long ago sweetheart Im sorry for assuming some thing and thats good that you can look at her picture and smile. And that little voice is right it is always good to want to be there for someone no matter what has happened between the two of you....... And how do you see yourself nerdy? And what kind of girl do you look for?


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Posted

:\ It's fine, although I did mention that there were two years I would rather not remember in the latter post. Oh, did I mention that this is the same little voice that kept whispering "She's the one" over and over, and still does, from time to time?

. . . Generally, I am one, I suppose. I'm a creative individual with a profound love for the arts; I'm an artist and a writer, and as such, I love a good game with fabulous graphics and an excellent plot to boot. Yes, I love my games. Games, mind you, that most people have never heard of, as I get them through torrents. And most of them are japanese titles. Oh, and yes, I love anime and manga, too.

I'm looking for a girl with the same general tastes as me, and is just that--a girl, who can use her brain in a creative manor in role-playing and/or art. Writing skills are. . . A must for me. Finding a beautiful girl who has a way with words, and knows how to use her punctuation and such correctly, is a huge turn on for me. It's sort of a nerd factor. And I find that these are the girls that I can hold enjoyable conversations with. That's really what I want, but finding a girl like that where I live is. . . Highly unlikely. :\\


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Posted

Well you maybe in luck there honey. Because I am going to go college right now for Graphic Arts and Design. I love art with a passion no joke, I love to write poetry and I love to be able to keep my mind open to all the possibilies in the world instead of the ones that other's expect you to have.

And I know what you mean about wanting to find that girl that you can relate to, I have been trying to find a girl that can be creative and artistic just like me but that doesn't happen here in Idaho lol. But im here and you are there and I am a total nerd....especially with math.


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Posted

. . . I hate math. Math is my worst subject. English is my best. I relish it~

Oh, and to all of the ladies in this thread: Have you ever noticed that even several months, or even years, after the one you feel hardest for is out of your life that you don't crush as easily, and you're more guarded than before? Not just from potential partners, but people in general. I've gotten really. . . Distant. I have spells now where I just don't want to talk to people, much less deal with them, and in this state, I do next to nothing save for things that I force myself to do. Does anyone else have that problem?

And yeah, it's. . . Really hard in Florida, too. That's mainly why I plan on moving out of state for college, and attending an all women's college. *shrug* Not sure what for as of yet. If it's for creative writing, well, I may as well not go. I've been writing since I was in 5th grade; I've taught myself how to write, with a little help from friends, and continue to improve myself. Going to college for it won't make me a better writer.


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Posted

I understand what you mean about not wanting to talk to people. And hell ya the one that you fall for and than hurts you after that it is totally not the same all your walls are up even more than they were before and it sucks because it makes it that much harder to move on you know what i mean..... Well you should move out here than to go to college there are a lot of good ones here and if you do that you may possibly run into me and we could hang out and I could show you the ropes in my town lol. But we don't have an all womens college out here so IDK lol and that is good that you taught yourself how to write that takes talent I will tell you that much and I write poetry most of the time and Im working on my third poetry book.


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Posted

Yeah. . . I know whatcha mean.

Um... I don't know where you live. But I'll look at your profile once I finish typing th- ... Wait. I'll just pull it up in a tab. *checks* Caldwell, ID... I have no idea where that is. >.< For a little while at least, I wanna stay around my friends, and my mother who lives in GA. So we'll see.

Sadly there aren't as many gendered colleges as there used to be. I've only had one college--that was all the way in... Either Missouri or... Somewhere else with an 'M', I don't remember--that was gendered send me something. But it wasn't what I was looking for. Academics, bleh. Don't need them. Elementary, Middle, and High School were all academics.


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Posted

LOL there are hardly any one gender colleges anymore............and it is Caldwell Idaho where i live lol alot of people don't know where it is to be honest....and you will find a college that suits what you want soon trust me you will i know that i did


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