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Tasha_Rohrer

confused.... - Bi Bi Bi Women

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Posted

grr im going nuts and was wandering if anyone else has this problem. im confused because i keep jumping from bisexual to lesbian. and im not sure if it is that i dont like men or if i really like both...


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Posted

I don't think it really matters. A label is just a label, and you don't necessarily need to box yourself into a category. I go through phases where I find myself more attracted to men, others where I'm more attracted to women, some where I don't feel attracted to anything, and all sorts of other categories. Generally for me it just depends on the kind of people are in my life that I'm running into and meeting. If you're attracted to someone then you are, and if not, then you're not. A label isn't gonig to change that, nor should it. You sound like you more often are attracted to women, but if you find a guy you're attracted to then that's fine. If not, that's fine too.


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SarahLynn_Bower
Posted

i'm not worrying about th e'label' aspect anymore. it just keeps changing just when i get it all figured and and stablized and then some guy comes along and oooooooooo
oh well.

like Pop Eye sez "I yam what I yam, hyuck, hyuck, hyuck!"

just enjoy and the rest just flows


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Lindsey_Schnell
Posted

I'm grateful for this post, and the comments that followed. I've been feeling sort of the same thing, but mostly because I've heard so many people in my life say things like they don't believe in being bisexual. So I find myself thinking, "Am I bisexual, or am I just straight and curious about girls?" But I know that can't be true. Numerous things immediately pop up in my head to discount that thought. So then I think "Alright, I'm definitely attracted to women, so am I a lesbian that just thought I was supposed to like guys?" But I also know that's not true either. I always end up at the same conclusion: I Am Bisexual. And regardless, you guys are right, the label doesn't matter anyway. I really appreciate your comments. Thank you =]


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Alyssa_Selbrede
Posted

The reason I finally decided on calling myself "Bisexual" was because of a similar problem. I kept jumping between being straight, and being a lesbian. It seemed to go in waves, one month I'd really like guys, the next I'd really like girls. Finally, I just got fed up with trying to figure myself out, and thus I identify as a bisexual. I get frustrated when people say they don't believe in bisexuality. All I can say is- I've gone back and forth so many times, if I'm not bisexual, what else can I possibly be? I don't necessarily like the term because it does indicate that somehow we're "torn" between two things.

For example, if you've ever heard of the Kinsey scale (0-6). 0 being absolutely heterosexual, and 6 being absolutely homosexual. I'm about a 3.5, almost exactly in the middle. Anyway, Kinsey believed that the majority of people fell somewhere in between 0 and 6. So don't pressure yourself too much to decide if you are attracted to guys or not. Maybe you are, maybe not. I feel like most bisexuals have preferences one way or the other. Many women identify as bisexual who have exclusively had relationships with one sex, but are still attracted to both (which is another misconception people have about bisexuality, that one has to have relationships with both sexes).


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Posted

You could just consider yourself "pansexual" - it means you find who you like attractive regardless of sex and gender, be it a male, female, or transgender. I am that way. It brings in that whole transgender option also because that kind of blurs the lines.


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SarahLynn_Bower
Posted

HI Michelle

yepper,
totally agree and that Is how i define mine.

totally why i gave up trying to pidgeon hole myself in the trinary


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Posted

i found the kinsey scale hopeless I am bi i came out at 17 i spent loadsa time round blokes so kinda ended up in relationships with them married me best friend also male but at no point did i want to say i was straight even if it was easier because the first person i really had feelings for was female to say i was straight or gay feels like i am denying how i felt about my exes also i find whatever gendar i am with has to have a mixture of masculine and femine qualitys


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Posted

I think many of us have that same problem. It really just depends on the people you have around you. Like everyone else commented labels are just that labels! They're truly just meant for grocery or clothing items. No one can be boxed in so tightly that there is no other choice. One day you might feel this way the next day you might feel another, but know that you're not alone and its completely natural. I personally dont believe in being straight. You're attracted to whoever you're attracted to: gay, straight, trans, they're all just words. Allow yourself to break free from the labels and enjoy whomever comes into your life! =]


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Sierra_Brown
Posted

i have my own definition of being bisexual , what i think it means to me is when im in a relationship with a woman i can be with her and only with her , and the same thing when im with a man. some bisexual women make being bi a hard thing. what i mean is those few bi's who have relationship with a man cheat and sleep with women or vice versa but hey to each his or her own. i cant knock what i dont do just because it doesnt suit me u never know my point of view might change. lol


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Posted

for me its about WHO they are... NOT WHAT they are... the inside, not the outside.


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Sarah_Barton_36519
Posted

So glad this was posted. Tasha pretty much summed up EVERYTHING I've been feeling the last little while. I know I shouldn't be focused on labels, but it seems like we live in a society (I hate saying that >_


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Posted

i do find that its all well and good saying labels are labels but because i get labelled straight i lived that way mainly because i found gays girls abit wary of me where as straight guys have always been fine with varying degrees of relationships and the bi girls ive met have been in relationships wi men im the only person i know who can go on the pull down the village and come back with a full on totally straight alpha male its not just labels its signals


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Posted

well to me i guess a scale doesnt matter. i think we should all judge our selves by our own scale... im still confused by i finall y learned that i should be the only one judging me


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Posted

I guess mann; it takes to much time and energy to put a label on yourself about who you are. you can be more than one thing and its up to you to say. like Imma Bisexual dorky dropout


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Posted

i like this discussion. i have always called myself bi, but i had my first real sexual experience with a girl a few weeks ago ( admittedly with a guy at the same time) but since then i feel that i dont even like men anymore. i might one day decide that i like them again, the kinsley scale is an interesting idea, i have no idea where i am on it though, i would just like someone to tell me so i dont have to go through all the trials to decide.


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Sarah_Barton_36519
Posted

I feel like where you are on the scale can vary with time, even day-to-day. It goes from 0 (strictly hetero) to 6 (strictly homo) with completely bisexual right in the middle (3). I at one point considered myself a 3, but now I think I'm more like a 4 or 5. BUT, that could DEFINITELY change. From your description, you sound like your probably something close to a 5, but don't take my word for it. haha I'm definitely NOT an expert.


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Sarah_Barton_36519
Posted

P.S. I don't actually take the whole Kinsey Scale thing seriously, I just think it's an interesting way of looking at things. Kinda cool that it gives you a wider range than just straight, bi, gay.


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Posted

im never going by any Kinsey scale... thats the dumbest thing i have ever heard.... your either GAY< STRAIGHT OR BISEXUAL... PERIOD.... who makes this shit up??? lmao


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Posted

i agree with tawnya about the kinsey scale. i never went by it myself but i have read it and found it to be complete bs. people r gonna like others based on attraction and what not. this guy i know from hs knows im bi he said lgbt relationships never last and hes against it yet he wants a 3sum with 2 girls. he even wanted to do a 3sum with me in the past!! i said if ur against it, dont have a 3sum with 2 bi girls.

ppl should be able to like who they like end of story. i met bi/les who didnt even like girls but found out they were doin it for attention and show. those r the ones u need to stay away from them the ones who r attention sluts!!

i agree its the kind of people u r hanging around with as well.


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Posted

well said Marquis... this is craziness. a scale of bisexuality?? LMFAO!!! no wonder this world is so freakin messed up... . STOP BUYING IN TO ALL THE BULLSHIT.... just be you.. end of story.


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Posted

i saw in a les group one time on myspace about these lesbians agreeing with the kinsey scale. i told the group did u know that is made by a str8 guy? do u have any clue out there that ppl dont believe in lesbians either? omg they got so mad i told them so why r u buying into a bunch of bs?

like tawney said its about who they r on the inside not the outside - thats how it should be. i met a bi girl like who said that and the funny thing she was judgmental but states i like ppl for who they r. i told her u sound like a hypocrite she wouldnt date if u didnt match what she wanted. im not sayin that tawney is fake about her statement, im just sayin i met girls who say one thing and change it.

i always say its about the inside that counts doesnt matter if shes bi or les, but if she fucks up then shes out the door like i told my ex gf.


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