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Aimee_Simpson

my parents don't even know yet :O - Bi Bi Bi Women

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Aimee_Simpson
Posted

I've known since i was 13, I've had three girlfriends and I don't exactly see the point in telling my parents about it unless I'm extremely serious about a woman


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Posted

You might shock them a bit hun....it would be better to let them know now, just to let them get used to the idea (but thats just my opinion)


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Lisa_Lausier
Posted

judging from a parents point of view they prob already know but if they do not i agree with hollie you may want to give them some time to absorb the idea so they dont freak when you are serious about a girl n make her feel bad if they already know when you meet the right girl you can concentrate on your relationship


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Posted

mmm...I know people who do not know the sexual orientation of their children *runs her fingers through her hair* some parents just know, others know and are in denial, and some are just plain blind to whats going on around them...


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Posted

Well, I currently am having abit trouble with my parents because I never tell them anything (really anything, bein sexual oreintation, school, tattoos, my rats... nothing) and I'm hoping someday they'll not evn get mad anymore when they figure things out.
The problem is, that sexual things are extremly personal. It's hard to find the right time and mood to tell them. At some point it just goes down to the guts you have.
Do you want you parents to know you orientation before or when you show them your gf? One after the other might be less a shock and easier for them to handle.
Aslong as your parents understand that orientation isn't realy a choice or evil (there are still those types around) I think it'll go just fine.


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Lisa_Lausier
Posted

i guess you are both right i try to look at it from a parents point of view but i myself am bi so for one of my children to tell me they were bi or gay i could understand but i also forget there are some real characters out there i feel bad for every young person that has to deal with those types of parents good luck if u have any questions that you think i may be some help answering let me know


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Aimee_Simpson
Posted

yeah i have three tattoo's my parents don't know about, i never tend to tell them anything as at the end of the day its my life not theirs, if they want to know something about me..they can ask and i would tell them the honest truth, i have lots of gay friends and they know about them but don't approve, well my mothers fine about it..its my dad thats the problem, i seriously don't care though, if they love me then they should accept it whenever they find out


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Buffy_Ballard
Posted

the later you wait to tell them the worse it is. you really have to know where your parents stand on being gay or bi. breaking it to them slowly is hard but often better than laying it on them saying mom dad i'm gay or bi. when i told my parents my mom accepted it. she has a lesbian sister and a gay brother. when i told my dad he was so angry. (he's homophobic) he didnt talk to me for about a month. i had to ask my mom how he was and fopund out he wasnt doing well with me decision. my dad has always been old fashion and growing up int he south adds a little to that! when i finally said if you cant accept who i am and where i am going in life then the love you showed me was always superficial and never went to the heart with you. you loved me on conditions and if that is the way its going to be then i will tell you this. i love you for who you are i will not ask you to change because i prefer woman i just wish someday you can accept. i will not appologize because that means i have done something wrong. i have done nothing wrtong. i find companionship from woman to be a deeper love than any man could evr give. this you should be happy for. i know its shocking and you deserve time to absorb. just know every second you spend angry with me is a minute of our lives waisted. after a short time of telling him this he came to terms and let it go and the love was as it was before i told them. telling them was very hard! i told my dad everything very open and yet he was the hardest one to tell! after i told them it was heart breaking to see my dad do what he had done but i also understood the anger and fear he was going through. to an extent. but when he came to esnses it was such a relief! telling them is better than not! you'll find the right time to tell them! be brave and remember who you are


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Windi_McDaniel
Posted

not everyone lives a fairy tale life with fairy tale parents...but back to the discussion. ehem.
some people may find it harder to tell their parents than others. because they're our parents we expect them to accept our choices, but that isn't always the case. my father is so in denial, on the rare occasions i talk to him, he calls my wife, a him, like i married a man. and when i say "she dad, samantha is a she," he says he or him again. it's frustrating. i don't talk to him anymore.
my mother on the other hand, with all her southern charm and prejudice, tells me every time i talk to her, she loves me and even though she doesn't understand it, she wants me to be happy, so if sam makes me happy, she loves her too.
Amie, my opinion is that being honest should always be the first choice, but only you can say whether or not that is a good idea (meaning, we don't know your parents). if you fully plan to gather up a girlfriend and bring her home for your parents to meet, i think it is only fair to include them into the loop before you do so. i mean it's like informing your husband you are pregnant in your ninth month of pregnancy! lol if it didn't show of course!


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Posted

*laughs* umm...has anyone ever watched I didn't know I was pregnant? its on TLC, seriously there are women who didn't know they were prego till they went into labor and even than their totally in denial....and my sister in law (Amy) knows a girl who it happened too (mind you she's a retard (the girl) anyways, she goes into labor and thinks she just has a stomachache so her husband takes her to St. Paul's (they don't deliver there at all only one hospital does and thats RUH all the way across the city) anyways she goes into the hospital tells the nurse that she peed the bed and her stomach hurts, the nurse looks at her and says how far along are you? the girl replies I'm not pregnant and the nurse laughs and says hun you are going to have a baby and we need to get you over to RUH, sure enough she delivered a healthy baby boy!!

Anyways, back on topic. My uncle (well actually my uncle and cousin are both gay) when my uncle Cal came out of the closet (which he was about 30 when he finally came out) most of my family acted okay, except fo Richard (my step grandpa) who still today thinks that us kids shouldn't drink out of Cal's cup because we might get aids (Cal doesn't have aids -at least to our knowledge, I know for sure he didn't have it at the time) anyways, so thats what Richard thinks, and his sister (my Aunty Char -who is a complete bitch) wouldn't leave her son Ray alone with him or go near him because she was afraid Ray would turn gay! My family is totally retarded! But yeah everyone reacts differently....but I think it would be better for them to know ahead of time, I mean if they disown you they disown you, but at least you wouldn't be not sharing the truth with them, even if they know your friends are gay and disapprove, you are their ddaughter and they may or may not see things in a different light...


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Shannon_Adamson
Posted

None of my family know except one of my cousins. I don't think my dad would understand. I've thought that if perhaps I brought home a girl that was hella hot he wouldn't be able to blame me and everything will just work itself out. Yeah right...I just prefer to keep it to myself. Only my close friends know the true "me".


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Buffy_Ballard
Posted

NEVER bring the girl home and break it to them that way!!! way bad idea! 1- it could tear you and your family to pieces, 2- you loose the girl because it scares her how they react and 3- you could be so embarressed it may scar your relationships from then on. its best to tell the before you bring her home in that way! just tell them you have something very important you need to tell them and if they dont except it thats their choice that you are still their daughter and you will always love them. this will make them realize how seriouse you are how much it means to you and the fact you are being honmest woith them. i told my dad i was dating the woman that litterally saved my life from an abusive man that almost took my life 3 weeks prior. he flipped out on me! trust me. being honest is always best. i had figured well she saved my life you should accept her. needless to say, the love we had (the girl and i) was torn apart because i had done this the wrong way. emotions are fragile. not every ones excepting.


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Ashley_Ducote
Posted

My step-son just told his dad and I that he is bi. I'm completely ok with it, in fact I'm happy that he came out with it, but his dad is a different story. He is trying to be ok with it, it is just freaking him out. Any suggestions on how I can help him get over it sooner?


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Posted

It depends on WHAT his issue with it is.
"My son is going to be unaccepted and an outcast" Well, no...it may be tougher around some close minded people but he will find friends and open minded people in the end.
"My son won't get a job because of it" No, it rarely comes into play, the best is to apply and not bring it up. When people get to know you, THAN let them judge.
"I must have done something wrong raising him." homosexuality is not a disease, not an illness, and not a result of bad parenting. (true some abused children may avoid relationships with the opposite gender but that's a different issue, avoidance vs attraction)
"I cant handle watching my son kiss another man, it's unnatural" Well, that's something you'll have to get over. If it makes him happy, and he's tactful and respectful about his displays of affection, let him be who he is and love him for it. Get to know his partner and make an effort to make them BOTH feel welcome in your home as sons.

So yeah... it depends on where the dad's insecurities are with it. Ask him.


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Buffy_Ballard
Posted

if the love is there the terms may be met by accepting who he is but maybe not understanding it. the love may reamin the same as it should but sometimes that changes people. just because how you like sex doesnt make you a bad person. really this is what it bboils down to. how you enjoy sex in your own private time. its not like hes having sex in front of them. i know that with some people religion has a lot to do with it oir at least they blame it on religion which i often find to be a load of bull abd used as an excuse to vcover true feelings and what not but if the love is truely there then he should come around when he feels the time is right


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