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Savanna_Simmons

how to tell if she is really into u or not? - Bi Bi Bi Women

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Posted

Ok i want to see what everyones ideas are on what kinds of signs u need to look to find if a girls out for u. I want to see how many girls can actually see the signs and who falls flat on there face...


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Posted

This is always a hard one. Typically the touchier a girl is the more I think she's into me. The average straight girl might give you a hug when greeting and leaving...but playing with your hair, grabbing your arm to tell you something, and things like that send up flags for me.

The less you know the person and their usual behavior the harder it is to tell when it comes to looks, comments, and body language. I'm a blunt and sexual person so if I were to comment on someone's figure doesn't mean I really want to take them home.


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Windi_McDaniel
Posted

yeah, this is a tough one, but in my experience...when a woman has wanted me i could tell by what and how she said things. think about yourself, if you liked someone and there was a possibility they could like you, but your not sure, wouldn't you maybe talk a little differently to them? then say, someone you weren't attracted to? of course you would, you wouldn't be able to help it, it's human nature. (unless you are one of those people that are super in control of your feelings, and that is pretty rare in the real world). i also agree with you christina, if a girl is really touchy, then it becomes more obvious. a girl who likes you won't touch you in a "friend" way, even if it is innocent.


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Jade_Pang
Posted

i am really blunt, i can never feel that whether she is really into me or not, until i started to feel really strange on our friendship, by then i will ask, or until she says it out... is that a bit weird? but i agree about the touchy idea, they always love to touch you but not the way a normal friend will do.... thats the time i feel strange on the friendship... it is always a bad to guess whether she is really into you or not... i hate that feeling...


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Posted

I know what you mean i ve had girls get exasperated enough just to say when you gonna kiss me that about when i figure it out .smilin alot touching looking at your lips are all cues


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Buffy_Ballard
Posted

i straight out ask if they are or are not bi or lesbian if i can't tell. im blunt and could care less if i make an a** out of myself! if they are a friend they will love yoiu for who you re not judge you and those who judge are scared of what they dont know! the worst that can happen is an awkward move in to kiss and they pull away! YEs awkward but if you laugh first about it most of the time they'll laugh too, hugs given (sometimes) and then you mmove onto another subject and usually its not brought up again! if they are phobic you can always tell by how far away they sit from you too! i am open and proud of who i am i dont hide the fact i love the womans touch! everyone i know, knows i love to be around fun women and will stand up if someone bashes on a glbt. i will stick up for us all! someone has to!


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Bethany_Grigg
Posted

i have the hardest time telling if girls are bi or not! i have no idea why. for example, my friend had a huge crush on me for like a year and I didn't find out until a week ago when she flat out told me.... am I completely naive or does anyone else have that problem?


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Buffy_Ballard
Posted

be proud of how you are stop hiding it! just ask them or tell them! it shouldnt be hard! the worst thing that could happen is you find out they like you in that way or not. if they are a friend they will accept you no matter what! if they are not accepting of who you are they are not real friends!


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Windi_McDaniel
Posted

woho buffy, come down to earth, its the real world down here!
i admire the fact that you are straight forward and proud of who you are, but come on; an awkward situation is an awkward situation, and i would say most of us DO care about how others perceive us (and i don't mean in a superficial way). if you CARE about your friends' feelings and respect the fact that they may not share your feelings of sexuality, you wouldn't risk disrespecting them in that way.
if there is a question whether or not someone is bi or gay, or whatever, it doesn't hurt to ask (even though that is harder for some than others, and that is OK too! not everyone can be an extrovert ), but to totally disregard whether they are or not, is completely immature and lacks class. I, too am a blunt, "this is the way i am", kind of person. but there are "friends" that won't understand. you may find yourself losing a good friend because you haven't given any real (or respectful) thought to your actions.
So Bethany, it's ok to ask, and i don't feel it means that you are not proud of who you are, or hiding anything! and yes, not knowing happens alot i think, especially where bi woman are concerned. in some cases it is easy to spot a lesbian or gay person, but not everyone wears their sexuality on their sleeve, and therefore it is perfectly acceptable, i believe, to ask (given the situation is right, and the person is not a stranger to you, and even then it depends on the situation).
So Buffy, i'm going to assume that you are too young of mind and don't know any better, but i can see that you really don't care when you have made a fool out of yourself. what happens when you go to kiss someone and they pull away? you start to laugh?, well what if they are offended that you assumed and didn't ask, and they don't laugh? are you going to judge them? are you going to say they weren't a true friend because of it, and they are just scared of themselves, or homophobes because you saw fit to disrespect them. grow up girlfriend, look a little deeper with in yourself, if there is any depth there...i don't need someone as callous as you sticking up for me, i can do that very well myself, thank you very much. I get the feeling that you are just one of those wannabes that fight because they think it makes them seem more of what they are not. I'm not saying you are not bi or gay, or whatever the fuck it is you are, but that you are one of those people who think they are riotous in taking up a cause that isn't theirs to take. you not only lack the ability to see life as it really is (in other words, you are naive), you think it is ok to come out at everyone screaming your ideas, without any clue of what tact is. there is a time and place for everything. if you are going to give advice to someone, perhaps you should read what they wrote first.


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Posted

I think that if it works for her, then it works for her. This is a site to offer all sides of the story. The way that VARIOUS people handle with homosexual issues in a heterosexual world. There is a line between being blunt, hurtful, and self centered, or being touchie feelie, empathetic, and introverted. But who the hell are YOU to tell someone who they should or should not be?

I may not agree with being SO forward.. i may voice my opinion about my disagreement.... but this is a site for a welcoming exchange of ideas and life experiences. So if you can't play nice Windi....keep it to yourself.

"i'm going to assume that you are too young of mind and don't know any better"

"look a little deeper with in yourself, if there is any depth there"

"i don't need someone as callous as you sticking up for me, i can do that very well myself, thank you very much."

"I get the feeling that you are just one of those wannabes"

"whatever the fuck it is you are"

What's going to happen when some suicidal preteen reads your close minded comments and panics? Thinking, oh man...here's another place where i'm going to be degraded in public forum. Proud of yourself? you acted the same way THEY do.


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Windi_McDaniel
Posted

well i'm sorry you see it that way Christina (to some extent), but here is what i have done with your thoughts. i have considered them, and weighed out what i can learn from them. that's what i do.
you ARE right about some things. this is a place to exchange ideas, meet people, things of that nature, and you are also right, i may have over stepped my rights some. Iam big enough to admit that. (I did mention, didn't i, that i am blunt, and not afraid to speak my mind?).
i do apologize to Buffy for being bitchy about it. i could have used a little more tact myself; got my point across without being catty. and i suppose in a small way i WAS acting like her (although i feel for completely different reasons).
my views, however, are still the same in regard to what she wrote. i come on here to talk, exchange ideas, meet people etc. too. even though, i know i can't control who comments anymore than she does.
i don't want to hear bullshit. how do you think Bethany felt when she read Buffys comment (maybe she is shy)? your scenario about the suicidal preteen(sorry Bethany, just hypothetical): what if she got that for an answer? same thing i suppose huh?
anyway, i made MY comments because her attitude about Bethanys comments pissed me off. i have been very stressed out and i probably transferred some of that onto her. i think she did deserve some of it, but that is my opinion. i realize i don't KNOW her, (nor will i ever)and in a way, i have judged her and for that i am sorry too. I try not to judge, because i wouldn't want to be judged myself.
so that is what i have learned. i can't say that i will never tell someone to fuck off again, but i will probably check myself, before i do so.


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Posted

Thank you : )

*Hugs* Sorry I had to slammed you off your high horse there, we all get carried away. So what has you so stressed out? Life in general? None of my business? :P


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Posted

*sighs* I made a new group for all sees and orientations for share life experiences and what not, if anoyone cares....Windi love I hope you joiin....I know its not really for everyone, but I thought it might help other people figure things out or to know they are not alone struggling with something....esp. you Windi you helped me with understanding that I am not the only one struggling with having no medical diagnosis for what I am currently going through...


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Windi_McDaniel
Posted

Awww shucks Hollie (blushing), that's sweet ;O) thanks for the invite.i will join, for you, and i think it looks like a good place to talk. I finished my last midterm (it's after midnight, blah) so, even tho it's late, i thought i'd check if you were on per chance...no such luck. :O( hopefully you are snug in your bed and sleeping soundly again. (my fingers are crossed) ...and of course i had to check my comment fight, lol.
Christina, although i don't like the reference made "slammed [me] off my high horse" i was up there, but maybe a pony i don't think my rant was COMPLETELY unfounded. hehehe. i will accept your hug though, friends? As for the stress, well, i am stressed for a multitude of reasons. i'm in school, i have a teenager and a seven year old that seem to be on the same level playing field. (hmm, although, it is a source of entertainment from time to time) and a few other things i probably won't mention on here.


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