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Polyamory <3 (Not polygamy... mind you) you kn - Bi Bi Bi Women

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Posted

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polyamory

Hey
I don't know how everyone will feel about this subject, & I am definitely not saying it is for Everyone...
I love my sexuality but that's only one part of me. I am definitely attracted to females. My life is pretty much perfect right now. & I plan to continue taking the effort to make it that way. How I grew up was not perfect, but not so bad...However that's a different story for later haha... What I would like to discuss today is Polyamory. & No we are not talking about Big Love here -lol.

So, I had a good, sweet boyfriend for 5 &1/2 years (Joe*). We were both really good to each other. I broke up with him because I found something I was missing in another man (my current boyfriend, Nathan*). I failed to realize that both of them had characteristics that I valued.

After 9 months I eventually happened to find someone that would fill the void that I had in mine & Nathans* relationship because of the things I had lost with Joe*. His name is Jacob*.

I made a decision. Should I go through my life switching from guy to guy because I was only half happy?- no. I told Nathan* about Jacob*. And surprisingly Nathan said that since I had been honest & he felt it was a genuine need, that he would consider having an open relationship of sorts. (Neither of them are gay by the way)

I was astonished, I had half expected a breakup. I had never really thought of trying to make two relationships work. How much effort that would take!! But really, when you think of it, sex is just an activity you do with people you love. And jealousy is just a fear of not being loved for who you are by the person you love & that they will leave you for another. Yes, I plan on having safe sex, this is not like some sort of huge orgy going on. This is very personal, but I would appreciate your thoughts, questions, experiences, and any suggestions as the three of us are still in the first stages of this tri relationship.

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Posted

Hi Agnes, I am new to the whole bi exp, still haven't found a lady to be with per say, but know exactly what you mean. How you might ask. Well I have discovered that my hubby meets most of my needs, but lacks something that women have. What that is, I have yet to figure out, but hope to soon.

I started talking to this one lady, and got to know her really well. To be honest, I started falling for her....hard. While I was talking to her my hubby said he noticed a big difference in me. Like I was happier, and more out going. I think some people just need more than what one person can give them.

So you see I am in the same situation. Hopefully one day I can find a lady to be by my side. I hope your tri- relationship going good.
The only suggestion that I would make to you or anyone in a relationship is to be honest with yourself and truthful with the others.

I would really like to know how it is going for you all.


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Thank you Rachel & Ceri!... So far, everything is going okay. The guys are actually cool with each other. (all roommates) They play poker, and chess & video games together LOL. This just makes me feel like my life is like a perfect princess puzzle. I don't know if I mentioned earlier how emotional this whole experience has been, but also how introspective it causes you to be. Valentines Day was a little weird because one of the Nathans friends came over but we all had to act like nothing was going on, that was kinda annoying. But we have discussed many things, & for the most part we want to keep it a personal thing.


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I guess i'm on the early stages of a multiway relationship. I have a need to be with intelligent men, its a security thing I guess....and i'd stab a stupid partner :P

My first real love was a 4 yr relationship with an aerospace engineer named chris during college. Being long distance we had a semi open relationship. When together we were monogamous and when seperated and breaking from the stress we would reach out to others. He started lying and wanted to bring a fuck buddy home to MY new years party... we fell apart shortly after.

My current love is a Law student named Adam. We had a strong relationship for 2 yrs flirting with 3way fun but never able to accomplish it. He had a commitment freak out and I was yearning for women and we broke up. He went away to ireland for a month so during our seperation we reached out to others. After the first week apart we "got back together" though we had the atlantic ocean between us. The reuniting was sweet, and our love solid once we ironed out one thing. We need to have fun once and a while outside of each other. I gave up my arguement to play with other men (which made him jealous/nervous) in exchange for say in WHO he picks and how long it lasts.

As long as we both feel safe and secure in our relationship, outside fun is limited but a part of our dynamic. It works for us. I get to have my need for a woman in my life when it's been too long. He gets to feel free to experience life situations, and feel safe yet unleashed by our commitment. Not quite Polyamorous... but how awesome would it be if we could find a woman we agree on! lol


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Windi_McDaniel
Posted

Reading these comments makes me want to point out that the majority of PLANET EARTH have Poly type "marriages". It is the western world that frowns upon it (mostly).
HOWEVER...i have had several myself, and when comparing my "experiences" to what i learned in anthropology... leaves me scratching my head.
All of the relationships worked for a while, and most were good and healthy too. But...All of them ended because emotions got too uneven(and not by me).
There were a lot of great advantages to it, and not so many drawbacks, but the drawbacks were bigger.
I guess what i'm saying is good luck, be careful, and try to remember that there are millions of fish in the sea. You can love someone and know, at the same time, that they are not the one for you. Stay happy! Don't compromise it for someone else, because it is human nature to keep on living, to find another, and love again.
If i were to find myself in a three way relationship again, i suppose i would try it, if i thought i would be happy...


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