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Thinking out loud... - Bi Bi Bi Women

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Posted

I've been reading some of the discussions on here...some of which bother me but whatever. I am a 24 yr old female in saskatoon, sk, canada. I've been really sick lately and having sex with my husband is insanely painful. I am lucky to have an understanding husband who doesn;t mind my beiing bu at all. Like other guys he doesnt think with his dick. I've told him that he can go out and find a gf if he wants because sex is just...well yeah, I haven't had sex with a girl in a LONG time and have no clue if it would be less painful and hard on my body and cause less pain. I'm not saying I am just looking for casual sex, I am looking for someone as understanding as my husband is. I am extremely ill, to put it bluntly the only doctor that could give me a bit of a diagnosis is my body is acting as if I have cancer already but all of my tests are showing up negative. At this point in time I am no longer able to care for my son while my husband is at work so we have to put him in day care!!
ugh...like I said just thinking out loud...


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Windi_McDaniel
Posted

I am very sorry that you are sick, it must be really frustrating being in your situation. Believe it or not i do understand that what i wrote doesn't apply to everyone, and i don't think it applies to you. They way i see some "Bi" posts are written, have struck me the wrong way. I don't have any problems with "casual sex" as it is sometimes needed. But i don't feel that there is any respect going on in some of those situations here and it made me mad. I am a Bi woman in a relationship with a woman. I am still attracted to men. I am a little older than most on here and perhaps i have just seen more in life. What i wrote was good advice, i've seen it happen many times. I was once in a relationship with a married couple myself. I loved the man and the woman, but i realize that it was a unique situation. I am sorry to you, if i have offended you. I wish you good luck, and hope that you get better. I am sick myself, and i know how awful it is to not be able to do things, especially for your children.


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Posted

Esp. When your child is 3 and begging you to play with him and you can't even get out of bed. We have to put him in day care because its cheaper than having my husband come home 2-3 times a week or more to look after our son and me because I just can't do it. (I'm asorry iif my words get mixed up or doesn't always make sense my hands often shake or samsim and its extremely frustrating. I often feel like a hillbilly because of it). I know I might seem young to some people because I am only 24 I'll be 25 next monbth but I've been through a LOT of shit in my life and I often feel as if I've aged way beyond my years, I feel much oldeer than what I am. WHen I look at my husband lately I can see the toll its taking on him. He signed up for the long haul. I told him before we even officially started dating all of the health issues I would have and he still said he didnt care, he still married me. The worst part is he's not going to just have to watch me go through this but our son as well. There's no one to turn to no one to talk to. Its all so frustrating and Life .... life really sucks all the fucking time!!


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Windi_McDaniel
Posted

I'm so sorry, probably more so than others. I'm not sure what your ailment is, but I completely understand not being able to get out of bed. My son is 7, and he is autistic, and has some major sensory issues as well. He needs extra time,and i can't always give it to him. My partner is really supportive and i am grateful for her because she picks up where i am unable to do it myself. My son loves her, but i can see that he wishes it was me sometimes. I hate being sick, I have no control, and i hate that more. Today I went to physical medicine and they increased my meds. I will be a zombie soon i think, lol. I just try my best to keep going. I get advice all the time and it sucks because people don't really understand chronic pain, chronic illness, etc. You can't explain that to them. I have been able to go to school (online), I only have to commit to labs every other Sunday, it works. I had to give up doing what i planned and worked so hard for though, and that was heartbreaking. I had hoped finding friendship outside of my realm would help me a little, (as i hope it helps you). I really didn't expect to meet someone with this particular thing in common. It's nice to meet you Hollie.


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Windi_McDaniel
Posted

by the way, do you read? I joined the group, oh i dont remember the name, about books anyway. I was thrilled to see there was something like that on here. I love books/reading.


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Posted

I used to read, but its becoming more difficult to concentrate. My son is going to day care on monday and already he is acting out and trying to get more attention. I was such a zombie this morning from my meds it was rediculous. Than I got the brilliant idea we should go scheck out the walmart super center (so not a good idea), than Patrick totally pissed me off, cause we got home and even though I was feeling like shit I made super, I put dishes away, I loaded the dishwasher, started laundry and all I got was a thanks for supper. ANd now hes not even talking to me. I tried to sit with him while he played guitar and he put the guitar down threw his pic and walked away from me....I tell him every fucking day I LOVe YOU! I APPRECIATE WHAT YOU DO FOR ME!! and i get squat in return when I bare through the fucking pain to help out. ugh....I am really trying not to be bitchy here but I think I need a gf or something....


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Windi_McDaniel
Posted

I have noticed something in my relationship. I am blessed. she does a lot for me (and sometimes too much), but there is a line she doesn't cross. Especially when i need her to. She can only be patient so long for what she doesn't understand. She doesn't feel the pain i feel, the frustration i feel, the utter helplessness i feel. So there comes a time when she gets angry. We have separate rooms so she will hide, and well, i do too. But eventually she relents and comes to help me again. I think your situation is one that is hard on both sides. I'm not making excuses for him, as you said you were fully honest about your health, eh? But being a partner to someone that needs so much can be overwhelming. You said yourself that it is taking a toll on him and your son. I can only give advise from another in a like situation as you, but i've been sick for a long time. People have come and gone from my life because they don't understand that i cannot go drinking at the clubs, i cannot tolerate all that. I cannot do as they do, so they leave. what ever, i deal with it because i ask myself, "what kind of a friend were they really?". But she is my partner. She is young and healthy, and keeps me going more times than not. She drives where i need to go, she sits and waits with me through doctor appointments, surgery, the consequences of the drugs i take. I understand she is one in a million. Give your guy a chance to adjust, if he has stuck by you, he deserves a little leeway. Finding a girlfriend may or may not be wise. Is he worth risking, because he may be the price you pay. Today is not such a great day for me so i am going to stop here. i hope that helps a little.


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Posted

Its not a gf to get away from him...ugh I dont know how to say....*rubs her forehead* FUck I hate being medicated, I'm not looking to replace him and I know its hard for him, I don't always tell him just how bad things are....and... I've been sick a LONG time too it just usually doesn't hang around like this, cause its fixed for a time by surgery, not this time... ugh...there is surgery but the one my specialist and surgeon want is not one I am willing to do, and my surgeon won't do what I want done...I'm sorry if this makes no sense my head is messed and I am way depressed today and drained...


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