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Rick_A._Shea_Thompson

opinions?? - Poetry Group

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Rick_A._Shea_Thompson
Posted

Me

With the face that i show
For the world to see
You would never know
How great i just might be
From the faces of man i hide
So the world will never see
How different i just might be
Until the day i run across
A person as different as me....


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Posted

I really like this. how it talks about how we hide who we are from ppl out of fear of rejection. and how we're just looking for someone to love us for who we are not who we pretend to be


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Lee_Bauer
Posted

Hmmm not sure if you meant for there to be a Rhyming scheme for this or not... it seems to be a bit of a ABABCBBDB sort of thing.... which throws me off a little. I almost want to read the 5th line as "From the faces of man, I hide". It just doesn't seem to flow all that well. But over all, other than structure it's pretty good with the overall message.


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Rick_A._Shea_Thompson
Posted

okay what do u mean by ABABCBBDB i dont wanna say im new at this i've been writing for yrs just never let anyone read anything. im lookin for help on how to better my stuff...


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Lee_Bauer
Posted

It refers to how the sentences rhyme. Like most of mine are ABABC, while other poets may have a rhyming scheme of AABB, or ABAB


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Rick_A._Shea_Thompson
Posted

okay thanks


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Posted

I don't get it.. but i feel poems don't have to rhym they just need to flow and be straight from the heart. you can't force art it's a fact


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Lee_Bauer
Posted

Well, they don't have to rhyme. That's why there's also free verse. One of my newer poems, "Lost" didn't rhyme near the end. I broke some rules that way by starting it off as a rhyming poem but it was done with reason. Poems tend to either just flow off or they can be well thought through.


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