me and my gf r haveing problems =( - Love and Romance

[Alexandria_Vitelli]

so me and my gf of 4yrs r having problems, i geuss im lookin for advice or maybe just someone to talk to bout it. anyway we've been together for 4 years and 4 months wich is the longest relationship either of us have been in. so i still live with my parents and work for my dad, she was living with her parents but bout 5 months ago she got in to an argument with her mom and like a good gf i talked my parents in to letting her move in free of rent, and everything was grate or so i thought, then 2 months ago on my birthday mind u she starts cryin sayin that she want to move out and that she dosnt think im emotionly ready to take care of her, and said "i love you but how can you love someone and no want to be with them" then she had a panic attack. now shes gotten a place with her friend and over the past 2 months we've talked and ive found out that shes "tired of it being a one way thing" and that in 4 yrs shes got her lisends, had 2 jobs, and got i car. and me i havent done anything and it pisses her off that shes been tryin to build a futaure for us and i havent been. shes also pissed that in 4 yrs i still cant tell her how i feel, im not good at exspressing myself. but anyway ive told her that im sorry and that i will work on those things bc i honestly hate liveing with my parents, and i do love her, but she acts like she dosnt beleave me =( i geuss bc ive said that b4, idk what to do she says she wants to work things out and that in the end she wants to be with me... but idk she took off her engagment ring and said it was bc she dosnt beleave it stands for what it should right now... she also said she thinks she loves me to much... idk any advice would be nice =/ sorry im not better at writting these.

[Betsy_Lipe]

wow... so tell her to give you a few months see how it progresses. You try to be a little more attentive to her needs and get a car or whatever. Sounds like she wants you two to have a private place. To live alone together.. Work towards that. It is hard living with parents and trying to have a relationship.. She is moving forward, and you need to do the same. Set a goal and go for it.

[Nebelpfade]

Could be a nice thing to move with her, plus be more independent have your own place with her and all. If it doesn't work, who says you can't go back to your parents anyway ? And yeah, Betsy is right, tell her to give you some time to work this out.

[Alexandria_Vitelli]

im just afraid she not gonna give me time, bc we've had the conversation bout my lisends b4 so i dont think she trust me, she did say somthing bout us getting a place together when her 12 month lese is up, but since then when i text her all i get r shity responces and she post shit on facebook like "im tired of being ur glue...maybe i need someone to lean on" and most recently "im tired of taking care of everyone... i want someone to take care of me" i just idk =(

[Alexandria_Vitelli]

she acts like she cant reley on me but i gave her and her 5 animals including a horse a place to live free of rent, that should count for something...

[Jodie_Hendricks]

She doesn't want a partner she wants a sugar mama lesbian and those are very rare.

[Alexandria_Vitelli]

thanks guys u know all ive ever wanted to do was take care of her i just got tied up doin other shit and just being happy to be around her =(

[Alexandria_Vitelli]

well now ive kinda messed things up even more..... the other night i periced my stomach i asked her if it was ok she said it was and this is the text i got from her "the other day when i was upset u kinda seemed concerned but then u went on mutilating urself and i didnt tell u to stop cuz i knew u wouldnt listen cuz u didnt when i told u not to do ur ear. im not in a good way right now and u dont even know, nick knows more then u when it comes to know when theres something wrong with me...im just so sick of taking care of everyone... i know u dont do much but thats it... sorry this is just how i feel ok... im going to work now" so once again i fucked up i cant even say im sorry bc i say it so much........... in a really messed up way i thought that if i did it ,bc ive been sayin i was gonna do it for like a yr, that shed be proud of me..... idk it was stupid i know.....

[Deleted-User]

You should sit down and talk to her, or even listen to her when she talks to you. There seems to be a lot of miscommunication, she doesn't seem to think that you understand her by the sounds of this text. She also seems quite low, and this is never a nice time for anyone. I live with bipolar disorder myself and being low is a very lonely place, especially when I am such an outgoing and empathetic person :-( It sometimes seems that I am there for others more than they can be for me... this is mainly because when it comes to depression most people shy away, or are scared. Let her know you do love her, and her happiness is important to you... more than anything, and that she must voice her concerns, as if things upset her, they upset you in return.

I hope that you can both have a loving christmas. All the best.

xx

[Alexandria_Vitelli]

thank you =/ things just keep getting more messed up. now she barly textin me and she wont say i love you =( i text her the other night and she text back and said "i just cryed myself to sleep sry im goin back to bed" i tryed to call her but she ignored my call she finally text me and said "im just tryin to get my head together" i told her it was ok she said "im just scared" i asked her y she said " im scared.....i dont....feel like i used to...." i told her that i loved her and i was there for her when she wanted to talk.... she text back and asked y i loved her, i gave her a 3 page text reason and apoligized.... she still barly talkin to me =(

[Alexandria_Vitelli]

im afraid shes gonna tell me she dosent love me anymore............

[Deleted-User]

You have a sit down with her and try to hear her out for everything she has to say. Relationships are hard. Down the road people say it gets easy, but it gets harder because you are getting close to that one person knowing their every move becoming as one. Try finding a good paying job, get back into school if you have to, and try doing little things that may come a long way. It's always hard for some people to express themself esp in arguments or discussions. When that happens try finding ways around it. Write her a little of how you feel if you think that would be better for you. In most cases it is because you are able to get all your thoughts out and then after you can either give it to her or even read it to her. Show her that you are trying because words esp when they are repeated words doesn't count as much. Take her out for late night walks or even just to watch a movie together to let her know that you love her and want to spend time with her. Do things to let her know you are thinking about her, prove to her you both will have a future together. Your best bet is to find a good paying job or even working two so you can get a place of your own. Then you both can move into once place and start your future.

[Alexandria_Vitelli]

well she broke up with me january 11th said she needs me to grow up on my own a little..... ive been working on getting my lisends she dosent text me much but she works night shift but easter she text me outta no where and asked if i wanated to chill with her so we hung out all day i drove us to walmart and took her out to eat when we got back to my house, we got in my room and she kissed me wich lead to make out wich lead to being pushed down on the bed and sex for me -_- after i walked her to her car and she made me sit on her lap and listen to a song that was really cute she said it made her think of me and she said she loved me..... i wasnt really sure what all of this means, ppl keep sayin she just messing with me but ive known her for a very long time and shes not that kinda person.... tho i still worry cuz this is all shifting my emotions in to a frenzy

[Erin_M_Ballantine]

I am not sure....but when you say lisends....do you mean license? Like driver''s license? It doesn't sound like she's fucking with you. It sounds like she gave you space to grow a little and you did. Maybe being able to drive her to walmart and take her to dinner was really all she wanted. It gets tiring sometimes being the "responsible" one who drives everywhere. Maybe she just saw that you are making changes to be more responsible and help support a relationship between you and that turned her on.