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Deja_Low

Feel So Alone... :( - Love and Romance

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Deja_Low
Posted

I have been with my girlfriend for almost 2 years now, and is 7 months pregnant with our baby girl. Too me it feels like everything is just sooo messed up. We have been having problems lately, well to me only, she dont think we have problems. Which could be true, im sooo emotional due to my hormones, one moment I feel this way, the next I feel the complete opposite. I stay home all day, and my girlfriend works 3rd shift from 4 to 4, so we dont see each other much until her days off, we are in the middle of apartment/house hunting, while planning a baby shower, paying for extra expenses, and getting ready for baby girl arrival. Its soo much stress, and I know it stresses her out as much as it does me, her more because she's the provider, she works all evening and night then sleep all morning and the same thing over and over. So she feels like she wants to just go out drink and party, and I understand, but I feel like its not fair if she goes because I cant, and she tells me she wants me to go with her, but I know if I do go I will get moody and we will argue. I just dont know, I dont know how I should feel. I feel bad for not letting her go, but I feel like we both decided to take this step, and she should take it with me completely because I didnt do it alone. I feel like she dont understand me, like noone does. I know she gets so stressed taking care of everything all the time, but I feel like she dont understand what I go through. I cant just go and leave for awhile, escape my emotional roller coaster, take a break from being pregnant, the aches and the pains. I home all the time, noone to talk to, noone to lean on, she goes to work and has all her friends, talk to them about her problems, and I dont have that. And everyone she talks to says I shouldnt be like that, that i should understand, but thats how I feel about everyone else. Everyone might think I have the life, I dont work, just stay home relax, and clean, but being home all day is the most stressful thing ever to me. Everyday she leaves I lay in bed and cry, I cry because Im alone again, I cry because I dont understand myself, I cry because I feel like I have noone. People say its just my hormones, that its normal, but I dont feel like it is, and they say thats also normal. I dont want to make my girl sound bad, because she's not, she treats me like a queen, anything I want, she gives, she spoils me rotten, and thats why I feel so horrible for feeling the way I do. She wants to help, she ask me all the time what she can do to make it better, but how am I suppose to answer that when I dont know?

I dont even know why I just wrote all of this, I guess because I have noone to say it to.


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Juanis_San
Posted

hey, i don't completely understand...
never been pregnant...
but i understands the part of being home.....
give me a call?
if u feel like randomly chatting...


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Deja_Low
Posted

yea, I think thats the worst part, being stuck at home. Il inbox you my #.


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Posted

Hey i can't imagine what you are going through. i think if you haven't said all this to your girl you need to. try spending a day together not worrying about anything and i do mean anything just have fun to relieve some of the stress. i think a lot of couples loose themselves in a family because they stress out about everything. thats how you grow apart. if you 2 are not talking to each other start you are not helping the other by keeping your feelings inside. don't forget about your girl i know what its like to be the provider it does get scary at times maybe you'll realize that your aren't that much different from each other. Good luck and congratulations if you want to talk just message me and i'll give you my number


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Posted

ok, I have been pregnant and you don't have to stay at home. Why should you? you can do what you need to do and get out ot the house. Take a course on how to make some different kind of food. I took a cake decorating class. Some people go to school and make some friends of your own with some new opinionsthat can give you some support. New mommy programs to help you know what you are getting into. Your hormones are going to go all over. Are you taking your pre-natal vitamins and eating right? Be good to yourself and know the two of you are bringing in a new life and will be parents soon, so talk to each other and work out these problems and be supportive in this process. Find other people in the same situation and make friends with them. It will help stabilize your relationship and show you how they handle things. you may look for them through a therapist or counseler but find support for what you are doing so you have another couple to do some of this stuff with as couples. You don't have to stay at home anymore and be pregnant. Get out and learn things to help your family be better and you be better with them. Its wonderful what the two of you are doing. Good luck and hugs.


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Deja_Low
Posted

Thanks everyone, yes we do talk, we talk ALOT, but never really accomplish much by it, mostly my fault because I dont know what I want at the end. I guess thats the real problem, I need to figure out want/need first.

Teri, my girlfriend just said that exact thing to me yesterday. So im looking into it now, but its hard to do when I dont know this place, but I guess the best thing for me to do is just go out there and learn it. Thanks for the advice, my family means everything to me, and I know that after these couple of months when my hormones go back to normal,and I go back to working everything will be better, Im just not use to being home and not helping provide. Just really hard waiting for the time to go pass.

Hugs to EVERYONE


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Posted

Yes Teri had some good thoughts there Deja. I have had 2 children and you will realize your friends will change after you have a baby. Take a baby class of some sort. The hospitals usually have a free one or you pay a small amount. Now this may have changed but look into local expectant mothers programs in your area and make new friends and find out what is bugging you deep down. It sounds like your loneliness is caused by boredom, LIke Teri said get involved in the activities of the city your in. Many of them don't cost anything.
If you want to be an hands on parent and not work after your baby is born
there are great child development classes out there I am sure. Ask your local librarian if you don't know where to start. They can give you great ideas or show you the places that could help you. But most of all be happy. You are very fortunate because you are loved.


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don't be to hard on yourself. Jeanie and I are a little older and we can see what you might be missing. Just relax and and give your family some time to be a new kind of family, one in which you get to make a new role for yourself. Life is about change. You might discover you like this new change. Good luck to you in finding this new place to be happy with so much love around you. I envy you to be so loved. Hugs and let us know how it goes.


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