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I want her so bad but i cant what do i do? - Love and Romance

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Posted

i have had this crush on a girl that has lately developed into a uncontrollable love for her, she has no idea of course and this inst going to go anywhere because am pretty sure shes straight and i think a homophobic , plus shes one of best mates ,but i just cant stop ...loving her. What do i do ?


Clare_Richards
Posted

You had best just walk away from her cos yu are going to get so hurt!


Posted

I agree with Clare if you know she's straight the only thing is going to happend is you getting hurt


Posted

there's a problem with that though , i have only come out of this complicated relationship that's lasted for 3yrs now (again another straight girl but it nearly be came a relationship) and shes helped me with it , and am only putting that one right now. plus my year is pretty small and me walking away will spread like wild fire , i think i should scratch the idea of telling her am bio and certainly not that i have strong feelings for her , do you think that's the right kind of thing?


Kamilla_Maple_59727
Posted

i agree with Clare- run away and do not look back. She is from other team and sooner or later she will hurt much. With all your love for you it is easier to survive if nothing happens between both of you. If she would be just straight the worse scenario - your heart would be broken and it is matter of time when it will be healed. But if besides she is homofobic- it would be very hard to recover...but if you think that you are strong enough for tornado in your life and she is worth of it- don't think and go ahead with her.


Erin_M_Ballantine
Posted

If you're asking what to do about your crush on your straight friend, then I am with everyone else on this thread, ignore it. It will most likely pass. There are a lot of types of love, and sometimes we confuse them. She is your best mate, and it sounds like she has been helping you through some tough times. It's pretty natural that you would develop a crush on her, but if she's not gay then the feeling is not going to be returned.

If the question is whether you should come out to her in general, then I think the answer is yes (dependent on your circumstances). If she really is homophobic and you risk her causing a lot of problems for you at school by telling her you're bi, then maybe discretion is better for you. On the other hand, maybe if given the chance she might prove you wrong about how homophobic she is. Coming out does open the door for discussion and education, which almost always leads to a more open mind (be warned, though, it can take some people years to open their mind).

There are ways to feel people out to try to gauge what their response will be. Bringing up glbt topics in conversation, or people that are known to be gay (personal friends or celebrities) can help you see what reactions she has to things.

The most important thing: If she is homophobic, the best thing for you to do is find a new group of people or a good mate that is going to accept you no matter your sexual orientation. Whether you end up telling her or not, you should not waste your time with the negative energy that comes from people filled with fear and hate.


Posted

Try alcohol lmao jkjk well sometimes it works by accident for me and then they're usually the ones to attack. Most homophobic girls do I've noticed. Some are just closet monsters. But as I believe a drunken mind speaks a sober heart.


Posted

i think i might take the advise from Erin , i have actually had a conversation with her about gay people and stuff, she didn't react in any negative way, it may of been a one off thing and its stuck with me and it made me fear my worst nightmare.

But the fact that i can't hold a conversation with her sometimes because of being lost in her eyes, i fear that sometime, somewhere am going to slip up my act and she will become distant or something , so i'd rather tell her at some point or not and do as you said Erin ignore it , the only thing is i don't feel completely true to her.
Also i don't think she would hurt me that bad, because in the conversation we had (ages ago) about a mate who was apparently bi or something i remember saying - all the other gay people will probably hide now because of what happened to her- she agreed so i don't really know what will happen ,i just don't want anything horrid to happen.

Alcohol ahaha something i'll probz resort to if everything goes through the roof


Posted

alls i can say is best to be you and if they don't like it? then they can go an fuck themselves..plenty more where they came from! maybe even better!! Good Luck sweetness!


Morgan_Ashlea_Baldwin
Posted

I think that maybe what you should do is bring up another conversation on gay people and see how she reacts. If she has no negative reactions then ask her what if one of ur friends is gay or bi and see how she reacts. But if her reaction is bad I wouldn't push and instead just walk away cuz you could get hurt.


Posted

I have taken all the advise you guys have given me , and am so glad i found this site otherwise this would bother me so much more.
And i have TOLD HER! just the other day, she took it fine , surprisingly she was a little shocked as well , and she treated me the same the next day, too although i don't know if she'll remember , sounds stupid but at least i told her, although i doubt i'll tell her that i like her to be honest. because i don't want to drive her away. But other hand, all i want say is a big thank you to all of you for letting me get over this obstacle. I Wont forget it xxxxxx


Morgan_Ashlea_Baldwin
Posted

You are welcome girlie and I wish you the best of luck.



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