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Why dont they say anything???????? - Love and Romance

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Posted

i think my mom knows im gay. see, i haven't come out yet to my family, its just my friends who know... and im not ready to be out and proud to my family either... but anyway back to the topic.

i think my mom and several family(cousins/siblings) members are aware that i might be gay or "something" . and the thing that annoys me most is the fact that no one has said anything. even after i had left my p.c open with weird gay staff... she didn't ask or even acknowledge it. even when i dress like a boy, most of the time... my mom just shrugs or gimme an eyes but never utters out her thoughts... its frustrating... i know i am never going to mouth it out... so its either they ask and know or pretend to be ignorant and just live in this invisible blob of lies.

i just want them to save me from having to say it.. because im definitely sure that i am never going to say it.


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Posted

Firstly, pls disregard that accidental wink. I was trying to click on your profile to see where you're from and get an idea of your age. This stupid new change that this site has made is ridiculous!
Be grateful your parents and your family is giving you the respect of privacy and CHOICE. Leaving things out 'accidentally' for someone to find is so silly, honey. Just sit down with your mom. It appears to me she is willing to listen, if anything. Give HER that respect. The look she (and others) are giving you is definitely one of curiosity but again, they are waiting for YOU to tell them. Today's young people are coming out more and more but also a lot of you are also taking your lives because of your frustration and it seems they are trying to be delicate by not saying anything.
It sounds as though they are ready to hear it.


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Posted

I agree, you just need to be completely open and just put it out there, let them know for sure that you are what you are and and if they are not happy, tough. At least you were honest and up front.


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Posted

Marukah ... i ddint leave it on purpose.... i was just reading and the book happens to be about lesbians... she told me she read it a lilttle. and that was it... but she didnt ask. anyway... yeah i dont have the guts to come out... dont think i ever will. so yup, if they dont ask then i wont say... simples

p.s lol disregard my friend request for i though you were interested in being friends.


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Posted

My opinion: I think you should sit down with her. Not every young person has that privilege. You obviously do because she hasn't put you out of your home. I tried to tell my best friend that her son was exhibiting homosexual tendencies since he was 3 years old and she kept saying 'no no no' and the only reason she finally accepted it was because at age 12 he went online and made a date with some random dude and his sister found it. Who knows what would have happened but this was his way of meeting someone like him that he felt he could be free with. Scares me to think about that time. I approached her with him and she finally accepted him. He is now 22; open, we all love him for who he is but he still wishes he could have been able to tell her earlier.
You have that option. You should take it. You'd be surprised how close you'll both be since she already knows and is waiting for you to confide in her.


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Posted

Also - I don't know how 'safe' it is where you live, but if it is acceptable, then I say do it.
I suppose it's all due to your environment.


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Posted

I think you should tell them as you have told your friends and its quite clear that they suspect something. they might be waiting for you to confirm their suspicion and i can only imagine that you are weary of saying something because of your culture and the fact that the zimbabwe attitude towards gays is very negative. My mother knew i was gay but she didnt say anything because she might have been wrong also i guess she kinda hoped i was'nt and also because it's quite an embarrising thing to talk about. Thats why people dont say anything..and more to the point, say they did bring it up what would you say:??? afterall you have just said you could not say you were gay to them so what would be the point of you wanting them to ask?


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Jessica_Knight
Posted

I agree with what the others said the best policy is honesty. I say this because i hid my sexuality from my grandpa when he would have been ok with if i had just told him and then all of a sudden my mom told him and now he refuses to talk to me. that is way worse than not telling someone trust me i know it is really hard to tell someone you care about and respect but sometimes its best to sit down and let them know if its safe of course if you think that they will kick you out or some how scorn you or punish you then its just best to stay in the closest


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Posted

yes everyone make a good point. Maybe ask your Mom" Mom, how would you feel if someone in the family was gay?" Would you love them any less? Just a thought.


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