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Do u think being molested as a child has a role in one's sexuality as an adult? - Love and Romance

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Posted

I started getting molested from 10-15y/o by a neighbor. I won't go into details just yet but, to answer that question.... I knew I was "gay" when I was 6y/o but, didn't know what to call it. I remember telling my mother I felt funny around girls but, boys never made feel funny... My mother told me it was okay that that was normal. Well, then I brought it up again when I was 10y/o, this time she told I was just going through a phase that it'll pass.... Well, as u all can tell it wasn't a phase for me & it never passed... Well, when I turned 18y/o Oh! Boy, did shit hit the fan.... Her mood changed and she went ballistic. She told me that if I was going to be "that way" that she was going to send me to counseling. That totally back fired on her... Her method didn't work, then come to find out she & my dad went to counseling over this... I remember telling my mother that I didn't like boys that they do NOTHING for me. She said if I was to continue seeing "Judy" that she was going to kick me out... I told; "I dare you to kick me out" & she did just that rt on the spot. So, I said, goodbye! I left w/my gf. I NEVER lived with my parents again... We didn't talk for several months after that incident but, eventually my parents came around (only after going to counseling) did they realize that they could lose me as a daughter or I could distance myself, if they didn't try to understand or accept me for who I am. Thank "God" for their counseling. I guess the counselor made them realize it wasn't their "fault" that I'm gay. I think we all know that most parents think that! As I got older they came to terms that I was going to be gay that they wanted me to be happy with myself. I think it's very important for everyone to be educated on being LGBT!!! Does what I just wrote make any sense to any of you out there????


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Posted

I guess it makes sense, but I don't see what the question is *points to the title*. Do you mean to ask if molesting could 'make' someone gay, like some people think?


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Posted

Melanie, yes! that's what I'm trying to say, thanks for clarifying that for me...


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Posted

Do people think being molested makes a person turn or want to be gay?


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Posted

I don't think it does. I'm sure getting molested makes some afraid of men in some way, it can make them want to have sex with men less. It could make them distrust men. It can also make them want to have sex a lot less. But it could never make someone have romantic, even sexual feelings towards women. It would never be real.
Myself, I call myself lucky to be gay. Don't think I could ever properly trust men again. But it's not why I'm gay.
Being molested can have various effects, but it doesn't make you gay.


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Posted

Melanie, I agree 100% with u on that one.


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Cara_Holt
Posted

....very touchy subject, but fuck it!!! I was molested by a girl who was six years older than me from four to eight years old and I liked it. Is that weird? If it is weird or wrong, then let me be wrong.


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Julian_Nelson
Posted

When I was twelve, I was very mature physically and mentally for my age, I got into a sexual relationship with a women who was 30, I'd say the first person I ever fell inlove with, I was obsessed with the idea of me and her, it really wasn't healthy even though I did enjoy it, my mum figured out, was furious of course and talked me out of it and even made me come to resent the women who I had loved. It was a very confusing time, but eventually when I tried avoiding her, she kidnapped and raped me. I supressed these memories for a long time and am now slowly remembering things and being able to deal with it.


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Posted

I don't really know the answer to that question. People tell me that all the time. That I'm this way because of my past but I don't think that's the truth. Yeah as Melanie pointed out because of what happened I do not trust any men now. I'm scared of them and I never want to be with them. But I wouldn't say that is the reason why I am the way I am.


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Diane_Aniol
Posted

In my opinion a person's sexual orientation does not have anything to with sexual molestation. Straight men in prison perpertrate acts of sexual violence on each other. It does not make them gay.

As individuals we know our true sexual orientation. We know who we are sexually attracted to, who we love, and are emotionally bonded with. We know who we choose to share our lives with.

I do think that when a person is molested they have to work out issues concerning trust, being empowered, and persoal validation. It does not change your sexuality.

In many cases the staight people that we know donot want to accept who we are. That s their problem. I know who I am. A cat is a cat. A dog is a dog they cannot change The true essence of our being cannot be changed.


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Posted

I agree with u Diane


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Rochelle_Ross
Posted

I couldnt have said it better then with Ashely N there or Diane.


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