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Do u think being molested as a child has a role in one's sexuality as an adult? - Love and Romance

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Posted

I started getting molested from 10-15y/o by a neighbor. I won't go into details just yet but, to answer that question.... I knew I was "gay" when I was 6y/o but, didn't know what to call it. I remember telling my mother I felt funny around girls but, boys never made feel funny... My mother told me it was okay that that was normal. Well, then I brought it up again when I was 10y/o, this time she told I was just going through a phase that it'll pass.... Well, as u all can tell it wasn't a phase for me & it never passed... Well, when I turned 18y/o Oh! Boy, did shit hit the fan.... Her mood changed and she went ballistic. She told me that if I was going to be "that way" that she was going to send me to counseling. That totally back fired on her... Her method didn't work, then come to find out she & my dad went to counseling over this... I remember telling my mother that I didn't like boys that they do NOTHING for me. She said if I was to continue seeing "Judy" that she was going to kick me out... I told; "I dare you to kick me out" & she did just that rt on the spot. So, I said, goodbye! I left w/my gf. I NEVER lived with my parents again... We didn't talk for several months after that incident but, eventually my parents came around (only after going to counseling) did they realize that they could lose me as a daughter or I could distance myself, if they didn't try to understand or accept me for who I am. Thank "God" for their counseling. I guess the counselor made them realize it wasn't their "fault" that I'm gay. I think we all know that most parents think that! As I got older they came to terms that I was going to be gay that they wanted me to be happy with myself. I think it's very important for everyone to be educated on being LGBT!!! Does what I just wrote make any sense to any of you out there????


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Margarita_Carpenter
Posted

wow that was very intresting and touching


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Posted

Awwe! Thank u Margarita.


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Julian_Nelson
Posted

Could be. I think a lot of things can change who a person is, but I believe more than any other theory that it's possible to be born gay and that it's in your genetics, because from the time that I could talk I hated anything girly, my mum had to force me into dresses, (I understand that there are lesbians who like girly stuff, but anyway) I also had crushes on older girls cause I just liked their boobs hah and you get the point, I've been masculine and girl-loving from the start.


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Kahlan_Gunn
Posted

I can confirm...both from experience and too many therapists...that it does. I also would prefer not to go into details. But yes, it has a number of different effects on a person......


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Posted

I know a lot of lesbians who have been molested and or raped. Does that mean that that caused them to be gay? I don't know. I do not think that it really matters either way. Does the fact that them being abused made them a lesbian, make their lesbianism any less? No. I believe that you can be born gay but I also believe that people have the choice as well. I have known plenty of people who said they just got tired of men and decided to jump the fence. It may play a part and it may not. Who really knows huh?


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Posted

Yeah! Carla, who really knows? I believe I was born gay myself. I knew at a VERY early age I liked girls. There's nothing better then the touch, smell, feel, taste of a woman...


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Kahlan_Gunn
Posted

I think my statement may have not been taken the way I intended it....


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Posted

well i'm not mentioning any names but if there are two girls, the same age that have cuddled and have done something intimate are they both in trouble, or is one of them who is a lil bit older (not in age, but yr) is that one person in trouble? x


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Posted

in answer to the question i don't think so, especially if the child was forced to do something, i think i wonder if thats one of the reason why people hate gay are hated because maybe someone molested them when they were a kid

but this is just one opinion from me x


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Tina_Lyn
Posted

Im a therapist and I think it can have a bearing on it however there are many many people out there who have been abused and molested who dont turn out gay. Most humans have had some form of abuse, neglect, molestation, ect happen to them and we all arent gay. So No I dont think it "makes someone gay". However I do believe it can be a factor...depending. So, Im not going to get into my childhood however I do remember as well being a small child...ages 9 and 10 and up, and kissing the girl across the street and how th at made me feel. Im gay. Whether I was born that way or not is irrelevant to me now. I am me and like I always say, "Im not perfect, but Im perfectly me!"


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Posted

Awwe! Tina, I like that, "I'm not perfect but, I'm perfectly me". That's how I view myself... "I'm Just Me". Nobody Hot, Nobody Special, Nobody Important... Just Me! Ladies & Germs please don't take that out of context. Don't get me wrong I'm learning to like myself, love myself, appreciate myself & tolerate myself, hahaha... I know, I'm just blabbing away... blah blah blah blah blah blah blah....


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Tina_Lyn
Posted

Blab away hon, im a good listener


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Posted

Ok! Tina, let me come up with another topic to talk about... Hmm.... Hmm...


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Posted

Tina, did u read my "My most hottest fantasy? I'll think of another story to write...


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Kahlan_Gunn
Posted

"So No I dont think it "makes someone gay". However I do believe it can be a factor...depending."


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Tina_Lyn
Posted

No Tiff I didnt read it where is it? I wanna read it!!! Now you got me excited!


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Posted

Go to Love & Romance. the topic is "My Hottest Fantasy". Do these disappear after a while? Let me see if I can find it.


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