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Joe_Jaggers

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Joe_Jaggers
Posted

How is everyone? After a very complicated and trying summer I have returned to hopefully get to know you fine gentlemen a bit better.

Finally, after years of work things seem to be heading in the right direction, but one thing is missing. I am really in need of a special someone in my life. Why is this such a difficult thing to achieve? It is ironic to point out that I am an ace at giving my friends advice about their relationships and helping them out, but when I look at my own life it is a veritable desert, in the relationship department and I don't know what to do about that.


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Posted

I know EXACTLY how you feel. I seem to spend all my time helping other guys find love and hang onto it, or even just "find themselves" enough to go looking for love, whilst tumbleweed blows across my own so-called "love-life".

Welcome back, by the way!


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Adam_Closs
Posted

Welcome back. I do understand how you feel also. But all we can do is just keep trying!


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Joe_Jaggers
Posted

Thanks. From what I know of myself, I have few major problems. The first is that I'm painfully shy in person and around the beginning of getting to know people, so I really have a difficult time "getting out there". The second is that I'm not into the bar scene or hooking up online. It takes me quite awhile before I feel comfortable enough with a person to become intimate with them. The third is that I am mostly physically attracted to younger twinkish guys, but emotionally attracted to highly intelligent emotionally mature guys. This is complicated by the fact that most of the guys around here that are physically attractive to me want guys that are like them, and my physicality is closer to bearlike. The few guys that are attracted to me, are usually much older than me and my physical attraction to them tends to be marginal, though I like and respect them greatly. To top it all off, most guys around here just seem to want to only get their rocks off. :-(


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Posted

"I am really in need of a special someone in my life" WHY? .And I am not being sarcastic--you say you have friends--aren't they special? I don't have a 'certain someone in y life'--don't need/want one--I have 5 friends who are there for me when I need them just as I am there for them.
BUT you say you have problems--only you can fix them--not into the bar scene or on line--why not? Many here will tell you they met their partners in a bar or on line--where cane you be more relaxed? Get to know someone?
I raelly have no reply to your being attracted to the 'twinkish type' etc. I never had a type so that hasn't been a problem.
By the way, here in Fort Lauderdale many 'twinks' go for the 'bears' and no it doesn't invove money. :O)
Last but not least "most guys around here just seem to want to only get their rocks off." That's everywhere and anywhere--it is part of a man's makeup. :O)
Good luck but I would suggest you forget a 'type'--give everyone a chance and you might find yourself being in love with and partnering with a 'bear cub'!


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Joe_Jaggers
Posted

Oh believe me, I am open to all kinds of people but I have noticed patterns within myself, and that is what I am talking about when I say a type- it's shorthand, nothing more, nothing less. Of course my friends are special, but not special in a way I want to wake up to everyday and go to bed with every night. Also, most of my friends are women. I think you know I mean a partner, and the reason for wanting that is obvious. I also don't need anyone to tell me I am responsible for my own problems.

If only I lived in Ft. Lauderdale, eh? Only wanting to get your rocks off, is not part of my makeup so I guess I'm not a man. Sure sex is great, a lot of sex is better, but for me it isn't all there is to life and especially relationships. I want someone for the long haul, not one night of frantic desperation that leaves you feeling empty in the morning.

I don't like bars because I'm introverted, for one. The noise gets to me and I inevitably get pawed by some drunk after a night of being ignored, and even then it's last resort for the drunk. Worse is the kind of guys who hit on me in dating sites. The few (and I mean FEW) encounters I've had have been disappointing at best and injurious at worst. Other than that it is endless clicking through pages of people saying they want everything I am not. After awhile I realize I'm wasting my time.

But it also isn't like I'm desperate to find someone as if my life will cave in on me if I don't find someone even in the next year. It's just the one thing that is missing and has been missing for quite some time.


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Posted

Joe I was just telling you my thoughts--I am 'different' from many guys in that I don't want a 'partner'--I want the bed to myself when I sleep--I made a decision to live alone and have never regretted it--I am alone but not lonely.

I have 4 exes--I met one at work, another in a bar the third on teh street (no not as 'bad' as it sounds--it was a blizzrd and we knocked each other on to the street turnigna corner) and the last--the love of my life--through a newspaper ad--that was before online meeting--it's not taht I haven't been there.
Also as type--again I was referring to me--my criterion was simple--gay and breathing--sounds trashy, tacky, slutty however you want to label it but it wasn't any of those things--I truly did not judge a book by its cover--and I met many a fantastic guy that way--in and out of bed.

I hope you find what you are looking for--I wsa trying to answer the question YOU asked and, obviously, you were offended--sorry.


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Joe_Jaggers
Posted

I wasn't offended (a little aggravated, after all the tone of your post was a bit condescending) and the only question I asked was "How is everyone?" I was responding to your questions for the most part.

I don't judge a book by it's cover, but if the cover isn't pretty the story needs to be damn good, and that's the trouble- most of the guys I've met don't author their lives well. And I won't even go into the surprising lack of skill in matters of love and lust. A respectable personality, romantic sensibility, and sharp mind will trump a hot body any day, but I'm getting neither. It all boils down to the fact that I can't pretend to be attracted to someone I'm just not attracted to- it's unfair to both of us.


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Posted

Joe after 3 years I was wondering if your status is the same or has changed? :O)

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