Jump to content
David_Vila

He's Having Trouble... - Gay Guys! <3

Recommended Posts

Posted

So here is a situation of a lady friend of mine. She started seeing this guy. When she brought him home, he didn't want to have sex with her. THey just cuddled in bed; but she felt that he was hard.

The second time he slet over her place they both wanted to have sex. He could not get hard though and blamed it on alcohol. That morning they tried it again. He still could not get hard; regardless what she tried to help him out.

The third time he went home with her. Same thing! She really likes him. He is a nice guy but now this is getting to much for her now. Has anybody ever heard of this before with a heterosexual guy?


Share this post


Link to post
Posted

Impotence can be caused by lots of things, from diabetes and low blood pressure to simple "performance anxiety". Given that he was hard when they first cuddled, I would suspect something more mental or emotional than physical. It may just be that the guy is so scared of screwing up the relationship that he's putting himself under too much stress.

My advice would be to GENTLY try to broach the subject and talk about it. A bit of communication and reassurance might be all that's needed.


Share this post


Link to post
A.T_Kiani
Posted

no,I dont think so


Share this post


Link to post
Jim_Bond
Posted

Two things come to mind:- Firstly, Are you 100% sure he is Hetrosexual? Secondly, perhaps SHE is the cause - body odour, hair or lack of hair in the right places, age difference, etc.


Share this post


Link to post
Posted

I knew someone would bring up that hoary old chestnut! If he wasn't heterosexual (or at least "heterocurious"), why would he be going to bed with a girl in the first place? I know there are cases where gay guys from homophobic environments try to "straighten themselves out" by forcing themselves to go out with women, but as society becomes more tolerant those cases are becoming more and more rare. Mind you, if this guy is local to you, David, we are talking Tennessee, so I guess anything is possible! ;-)


Share this post


Link to post
Posted

Hey Ian stop picking on Tennesseeans---I know from 10 years living there that many hunks are working it behinh closed doors!

David I think Ian's advice up on top is right on the mark--many reasons for failure in the bedroom--not that I would know personally LOL


Share this post


Link to post
Posted

It's the "closed doors" that are the problem in the Southern States... "WASP's" so far in the back of the closet they're finding Christmas Presents, African Americans "on the down-low", and everyone else using their "lack of visibility" to justify their homophobic attitudes. I'm glad there are at least guys like you down there who are out and open about your sexuality, and happy to show a positive image to your local community.


Share this post


Link to post
Posted

Ian, I disagree with you--when I first moved from NYC to Memphis I thought "There goes my sex life"--well my diaries prove taht idea wrong--this was in the 1970s and sex was everywhere--Overton Park, J-Wag's, The Reade House, 3 X movie places, etc. Half of the Bellvue Baptist church came over to my place on Saturdays for orgies--they have Bear clubs, motorcycle clubs, etc.
Yes most are married--that is still prevalant in the South--and most are bottoms but that's the South!


Share this post


Link to post
Posted

I think, in Memphis, it's a bit more "metropolitan" because it's a major city. I'm guessing things would be a bit more difficult in the less urban areas.


Share this post


Link to post
Posted

Actually I learned right away--as I traveled by car through Tennessee, Alabama, Georgia, Arkansas, etc., just go to any small town city hall and you'll see the guys cruising--or the Holiday Inn off the Interstate!!! Again that was back in the 70s--with the Internet I guess people don't have to go anywhere anymore!!! LOL


Share this post


Link to post
Posted

The late 70's and early 80's, in many ways, were kind of the "heyday" of the gay scene. Loads of stars had just come out, bisexuality was "in fashion", and it looked like things were "turning the corner" for us. Then, in 1982, HIV reared it's ugly head, and throughout the whole Western World, you couldn't hear yourself think for the sound of closet doors banging shut again! We're only just getting back now to the point we were at in '79!


Share this post


Link to post
Posted

I hate to say it but I had a GREAT time in NYC in the late 40s and early 50s--bars, baths, secret clothes signals, a wild tearoon scene all over the subways, private orgy dinners, a 'secret' society where we coud talk in public and people didn't know what we were talking about--okay so there were raids, teachers lost jobs, people were bashed, etc. WAIT--that is all still happening!!
I remember with fondess the line at the 8th floor tearoon at the NBC building and the garage across the street downstairs and the Everard Baths and the 'bird' bars, Juilius's Bar in tehVillage, Washington Square, teh Rambles (Vasaline Alley) in Central park---oh I could go on for days.
Yes AIDS changed the gay world.


Share this post


Link to post
Richard_Edwards
Posted

She wants to "solve" this, but what does he want?. She needs to bring up the subject and if he says he needs help, first he should be checked by a doctor to see if there are any physical causes. If no physical causes, he should see a counselor/therapist.


Share this post


Link to post

×