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Chud

Suspicions... - Gay Guys! <3

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Posted

As you guys know I got a boyfriend but what you didn't know was the relationship broke down about 6 days later - I'd rather not get into details about that, it's quite a sensitive matter - so anyway on my usual day on Facebook this guy I've been talking to via inbox messages suddenly accepts my friend request that I sent him several months earlier, that then enabled us to talk using Facebook chat.
We got on great and really early into the conversation we started talking about getting to know eachother a bit better and going on a date, so I was over the moon, however, now things seem to be getting a bit strange.
We've sent eachother pictures... of the nude kind and whenever we try to set up a time to see eachother he has to cancel for some reason, this is the 3rd time he's cancelled on me at the last minute.
I trust him but now these suspicions are popping up, he says he lives in Swansea and he's 18, he's told me one more than one occasion that he wants me to be his boyfriend.

Also I have something else to add into this, apparently one my friends knew him about a year ago and this boy was a bit of a player and would have sex with anyone he could get it from regardless of if he was in a relationship or not.
Now that was a year ago and I know from experience that people can change really quickly, it happened to me, and sometimes people find someone who makes them change, like a player could find someone who they genuinely love and therefore don't go looking for anyone else.

These are my suspicions:
He's not who says he is
He's not 18
He doesn't live in Swansea
His pictures are all fake and he looks completely different

I am really at the end of my tether her, I feel like a mug but I'm in too deep, I've fallen for his charm and I don't want to let him go, I feel if I hold on then he eventually we will see eachother, but for some reason that just seems so far away...


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Dave_Mack
Posted

Chud this does NOT meet what I call the SMELL test. Flatly it stinks. If he was serious he would make it happen. Follow your first instinct. He is a user. He is most likely NOT who and what he says he is. I'd get tough with an ultimatum. Either MEET or forget it. Insist on CAM to CAM. if he claims NO CAM thats it. Drop him. Don't give him the satisfaction of using you. You are way too good a person to allow that.


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Jim_Bond
Posted

Drop him like a hot brick! He has been lying to you and it won't change. If HE HAD really changed, he wouldn't be playing with you & your sentiments.
Find someone who will be truthful with you. Obviously he isn't.


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Posted

Richard, I agree with Dave and Jim, drop him! He's not worth your trouble and you deserve better. He's not going to change and he'll keep playing the field. Find someone who is genuine.


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Posted

Unless you are a masochist let it go--first of all NO ONE gets a chance to stand me up 3 times--second you went right into a 'relationship' after getting out of one-- you say you trust him BUT there are suspicons--too many red flags--get on with your life and don't 'fall' for anyone/everyone who shows you any attention.

Dave, not everyone has a cam--I don't :O)


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Posted

I'm not in a relationship with him...
Where on there does it say I'm in a relationship with him!?


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Posted

There are all kinds of relationships: friends, sex, lovers, cyber buddies--what we are saying (and you obviuosly don't want to hear) is stop any kind of relationship with him as he sounds toxic.


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Jim_Bond
Posted

Richard:- YOU are the one who came to us, telling us " I've fallen for his charm and I don't want to let him go".
If you don't want our advice as to handle the situation, then don't bother telling us the details.
We are trying to help you but you don't seem to want to listen.


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Homer_Bozarth
Posted

something tells me that there is something wrong with the picture you described to this group. watch you back babe. do not get into something that might get you into trouble babe


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Posted

I have to agree with what every one is saying here this guy is not what he seems to be I know from you have said that you have fallen for him and sometimes love is blind but my friend love should never be stupid! get this guy out of your life then morn the feelings you for him it;s gonna hurt like hell but at least he won't be able to hurt you any more, and you can rest in the knowledge that it was you decision to walk away. Good luck 8-)


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Posted

Yes, I came to you asking for advice and yes I am listening but Martin said AND I QUOTE "second you went right into a 'relationship' after getting out of one"
So don't you say that I don't want to listen cause I'm listening and I'm taking it in but what is the point of having advice is you guys are NOT reading the discussion properly, so Jim don't start with me, you don't want to go there, K?


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Jim_Bond
Posted

Jim don't start with me, you don't want to go there, K?
Richard, do you honestly believe that we are afraid of you. First of all, STOP BEING A BABY, and look up the word RELATIONSHIP in the dictionary. Here, I will even help you. RELATIONSHIP = NOUN:
the way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected.
Also, for your edification, any thesaurus will give you the following synonyms:- NOUN:- connection, relation, association, link, correlation, correspondence, parallel, alliance, bond, interrelation, interconnection.
You may also like to verify the meaning of AFFINITY:-NOUN:-
empathy for, rapport with, sympathy for, accord with, harmony with, relationship with, bond with, fellow feeling for, closeness with/to, understanding of/for; liking of/for, fondness of/for; informal chemistry with.


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David_Cloud
Posted

It makes me sad remembering how this site used to be one where we were friends, sharing the good times, the bad times and our problems with each other in a friendly, supportive way. Now there seems this sort of tension in the air. Sounds like Richard is being made to feel he's done something really dumb when surely this is a situation we could all find ourselves in. In my view its not such a big deal. Things happen, we get over them, we don't need to beat up others or beat up ourselves over them. Life is too precious. Hope it sorts itself Richard.


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Homer_Bozarth
Posted

i feel the same way David. we are here to listen to other peoples problems and help them to try to solve those problems. we are not here to tear other people down. my advice to Richard is take time off and relax. do not rush into another relationship. if you need to talk or cry on ones shoulder then you can come a door c apyo


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Posted

I didn't say you were Jim, tbh when someone says relationship - regardless of what a dictionary says - most people mean boyfriend/girlfriend (whatever floats ones boat) I haven't gone from one relationship to another, I have simply gone from a SIX day relationship to meeting someone new but NOT having a relationship, yes, I want a relationship with him and he said he wants a relationship with me, but with everything that has happened he has made me think if his intentions are true.
David is right I do feel like I have been made to feel I have done something dumb, but all in all haven't I done what life is about? Falling for someone? I like him a lot and I really wish there was some way I could be with him, but with the evidence available it just doesn't look like it's going to happen...


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Homer_Bozarth
Posted

Richard, i do worry about you. if you feel in your heart that you truely love this guy, then you need to take a chance. i will still be here with my door open for you if it does not work babe.


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Posted

I am sorry Richard--I will not give you MY advice again since you already had your mind made up--you have been VERY rude to those of us who offered a helping hand----You are lucky none of us sneered at your definition of a relationship meaning 6 days.
Hope you have a good life


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Posted

well you could sneer if you want but it'll just show how immature you are, js
My mind isn't made up I accept advice but when people don't read the discussion properly it drives me INSANE!!!


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Posted

Maybe you should have been clearer but you are playing the 'yes but' which leads to nowhere--everythign EVERYONE suggests to you is answered with 'Yes, but"-- it is NOT a productive way to live.


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Posted

Look over the posts made NOT once have I said yes but - if anyone is not being clear here it is you!


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Posted

YOU DON'T HAVETO SAY THE WORDS--YOU ARE REJECTING EVERYONE'S ADVICE--THAT'S A 'YES, BUT'--YOU ARE NOT LISTENING SO I AM SHOUTING!!!
iN ANY CASE i PROMISE i WON'T BE BACK TO THIS RIDICULOUS CONVERSATION OF YOURS!


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David_Cloud
Posted

Chill out Martin D Goodkin ! Stop acting your age!!!!


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Posted

Oh dear, Martin's having a sulk XD
Martin, how do you know I've been dismissing everyone's advice?
I've taken in the advice and I've put into action, I've given him an ultimatum - I've told him if he doesn't give me a firm time to meet and doesn't stick by it by the end of next week then I am done, I will walk away - he said he will but what one says and what one does are two different things - only time will tell - and Martin, I am quite happy that you don't come back to this discussion because quite frankly you're... well... annoying!


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Jim_Bond
Posted

Call me as annoying, also, Richard. Goodbye!
BTW this goes for any future questions you may post.


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Posted

I hope I don't turn into a cranky old guy when I get old XD


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