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Matthew_Craven

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Matthew_Craven
Posted

Im here because I am new to the lifestyle so to speak. Looking to make friends.


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Tiggerdean
Posted

Welcome dammit


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Posted

Welcome Matthew.
I am still trying to find out what the gay lifestyle is or if it even exists--except for the man with man sex we are no different--we pay bills, we work, we look for people to share our bed and/or our life--actually whatever you did before you can do again (only as an example instead of going into a nongay bar you go to a gay bar) but by the sme token if you have any questions the best way to learn is to ask questions! LOL


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A.T_Kiani
Posted

Hey matt
welcome to here


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Matthew_Craven
Posted

Thanx guys. Yeah, kinda insensitive to say "lifestyle" by me. And you are right, just the same as anybody else. I guess my mind is easier to wrap around this is the growing trend of acceptance this day is age. I am military and we are catching up but there is some growth needed at the lower levels, down with the troops on line. I look forward to a brighter future. Glad to be here.


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Posted

Sometimes I think that what some people call the gay life style is dissapearing very fast.
Discovering what it is or was like may become equal to discovering another tribe in the Amazone jungle. Of course everybody is different, but some people are (or were) more different than others. When I started to come out, the gay life stile ment that your life would be very much different from that of your family and most of your (school) friends or co-workers. It meant accepting free, or non-commital sex. Relationships only lasting as long as you wanted too, because there was no marriage, so the end of a relationship just ment going your own separate way. Hiding a part of your life because other people might use it against you.

Of course there is (or was) also the more visible aspects of life styles, like the way you dress.There would be (and stil is) drag or leather or any thing you wanted to look different from the straight part of society.


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Posted

As I ask anyone who uses it ---how does a gay lifestyle differ from a nongay lifestyle except how we have sex--everything you say above can apply to the nongay 'lifestyle'--that's why there were/are 'swinigning bars' for singles, free drinks for women, most relationships ending in divorce "relationships lasting as long as you wanted to'--nongyas hide their infedilities--nongays have their leather dress,--after 78 years I still don't understand what 'the gay lifestyle' is except how I have sex.
Klass, not picking on you but this is truly how I feel--I went to work, paid bills, went to school, paid taxes, drove cars, ate breakfast, etc. EVERYTHING that all do---basically the ONLY difference is I have sex with a person who has a penis.


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Posted

My earlier comment was written based upon my own coming out in the seventies and eigthies, before AIDS, to mention only one major issue. I did not mean to give something absolute, just a bit of history as I experienced it myself.


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Posted

I understand that--I've been out since 1948 when I was 12---it wasn't until AIDS, I believe, that the expression "gay lifestyle" started to be used and I still don't understand what is meant by it--I keep on asking!!! LOL


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Posted

I think we better give you some homework: Try to find a copy of the book How to have a lifestyle, by Quentin Crisp


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Posted

I read it--and I met Crisp a couple of times--if that is a lifestyle no thank you--he was a VERY bitter person!


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Posted

Maybe, but he could be very funny about it. you don have to follow it to the letter. It gives an idea. And you can learn from bitternes too


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Posted

No argument--I don't find bitter people funny and he wasn't funny to my sense of humor with his constant putting down gay people his thinking it was funny.


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