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(For those who may find this familiar it is a repeat of one of the first blogs I wrote when I started blogging in 2004/05. It seems every once in awhile people have to be reminded that living alone does not mean being lonely and that it can be a choice unlike other things. A young man expressed the fear of never finding his soul mate and living alone--I am posting this for him.)

It took me 50 years, 4 exes, innumerable mini-affairs to realize that I prefer, enjoy, need to live alone.

I make/am a great friend, adviser, listener but as a life partner a dud. It could be I am too selfish, unwilling to compromise when it comes to ME, unable to sustain a physical relationship with one person or a million other reasons. And it's NOT that I haven't found the right person--I did in 1981 but it couldn't/didn't last.

Why do I like living alone and don't feel lonely? Let me tackle the latter first.

If I want to go out to a movie or play, attend an event, spend time at the beach, share a joyful time, cry on someones shoulder or just talk friends are available. If I want to have a physical encounter I have a group of people to call upon.

Now as to not being/feeling lonely: I have many interests such as reading, writing, Mother Nature, theatre, movies, blogging, writing what I feel will be my last book, that take up a lot of my time and there are only 2 things I don't/won't do alone--have sex and eat out in a fine restaurant.

Advantages of living alone:
1) I can come home and not have to worry about how the person I live with is feeling, what kind of mood they are in.
2) If I don't want the TV on it stays off.
3) I can watch what programs I want nor do I have to buy another TV to solve 'arguments'.
4) I have the whole bed to myself.
5) I do what I want when I want
6) I can eat, read or do anything else I want in bed without having to worry about annoying/disturbing someone.
7) I can eat what I want when I want.
8) I can get up or go to sleep when I want.
9) I can smoke, fart, pick my nose, scratch my butt (Oh, I know YOU don't do any of these things) use my fingers to eat (Oops! Maybe I should have listed this separately after the other things mentioned )) without any comments or put downs or silly laughs
10) I don't have to hide anything, including what I watch or put on the Internet.
11) Not having a person talk when I am watching and/or doing something when I prefer quiet.
12) I like to vacation, take trips alone, and stop/see where/what I want for as long as I want.
13) I can be sloppy or neat, clean after myself or not without 'nagging'.
14) I can be responsible for myself only and not for someone else.
15) I can have the a/c on or off--depending how I feel.
16) I can say and/or think "I" as much as I want.
17) I won't/don't do anything I don't want to do.
18) I can eat the whole cake, box of chocolates or cookies, bag of potato chips, etc. myself. (I told you I was selfish!)
19) If I run out of something it's my fault. 20) I don't have to lie--not even a 'white' lie 21) I can shave---or not!

And the list can goes on.

The only advantage I can see to having a live in partner is that when you get old and/or sick someone can take care of you.
Besides all I have seen or read about partners are the problems they had or are having.
Plus I don't have to go through the heartache of a breakup )

The longer a person lives alone the more they will protect their space from being invaded!


Thanx for reminding me that being alone doesn't have to mean being lonely!


mmm..very good reading,didnt realise you are at the age you are,so i guess i can say well done and im sure someone can benefit from your life experiences and hopefully be of some help to someone who is seeking guidance.


"...didnt realise you are at the age you are,so i guess i can say well done" Thanks Hayden but I ain't done yet--too many things to do and too many men to make!!! And at 78 haven't used a blue pill yet!! LOL


In your case you are probably better off living alone, with your way of thinking I would prefer to live alone also than to live with someone like you. I have had a few relationships in my life some better than others. I still beleive in love and sharing my life with the one I love. When your with the right partener the advantages usualy outweigh the disadvantages and who ate the last few chips in the bag is not important

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