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Ross_Edwards

what should I do ? - Gay Guys! <3

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What should I do ? Me and my bf have been with each other for 3 and a bit years. but have been on & off with each other since the start off the year. but 2 months ago we both decide it would be best 2 split up but stay pals which we did. But in the in the last month i have hit some real bad times and needed help. now as we both still care for each other and we would do anything 2 help each other when needed he offer 2 help me. now this involved me staying at his flat for a while till i got myself back on my feet. but within this time there was a few nights we did the wrong thing and slept together to which we both said should not have happened. but i have came 2 realise how much i still love him and want him back. so 1 night i told him how i felt and he said he does still love me and wants us 2 get back together but first i need 2 sort out everything in my life and get things back on track before he would think of getting back with me. which i said yes i understand. but the other thing is since we split up he has kind of been seeing this other guy that he used 2 see every now and then before he meant me but that guy already had a bf at the time. but now the guy is free and i feel that my ex is just waiting 2 see what happens with the other guy before making up his mind about me. i just feel like i am 2nd best right now and i don't really know what i should do. i really love this guy 2 bits.

plz someone help me.


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Posted

My suggestion is to sort things out for urself first,let ur previous bf sort things out too between him and that other bf, and when things have settled down,. and things been sorted out, start thinking(!) about getting back together........
Stay at his home as place from were to sort things out, get used to each other again, and don't loose trust in each other!

Mind u... just a suggestion...................


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SFcityman
Posted

I really think that you ought to think about yourself first in this instance and get your feet back on the ground first and foremost before you start getting involved with your former bf. I hate to say this but they way you put it he is thinking of himself first and you second. He won't treat you as an equal as long as you need help. And that is a shame for him and for you, both.


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Posted

You may not like what I have to stay but you asked--IMO I feel it is time for you to move on--it is over--get back on your feet without using him--yes it will hurt for awhile and you might be lonely but working on yourself will bring rewards you don't see now.
Why should you be second choice for anyone? You are better than that!


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Posted

I reckon first you need to find out for a fact if it is the case that he is waiting to see how things go with this other guy before he decides whether or not to get back together with yourself, if that is the case then he is saying if things go well with this other guy then he will go with this other guy and leave you but if things do not go well with this other guy then he will maybe get back together with you, if he truly has good and strong feelings for yourself he would never do that sort of thing to decide on whether or not to get back with you. If things do not go well for him with this other guy and he comes back to you then he is taking you as second best, if he does that then I feel you truly need to decide whether or not he really has anywhere near the same level of feelings for you that you have for him, if he does not then how are things going to work out for you both. I would suggest you sit down and talk to him and make it clear to him that you still love him, if he truly still loves you then I see no reason for him not to make that clear to you, if he does get back with you then it needs to be due to him loving you as much as you love him and if that is the case then no other guy should come in to his decision making, if he does not feel the same level of love for you as you do for him then at some point you will get hurt, sit down and talk with him and find out for sure how he feels about you then you can truly determine what you wish to do, good luck.


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Posted

thanks u guys u have been a big help. most of u r saying what ive been thinking. in a way i just wish i did not feel the way i do for him as it would make my choice so easy. but i do love him and thats what makes it so hard 2 decide what do. but i do think u r all right that i need 2 look after myself first and they see what happens with us then. i am not going 2 lie it will hurt so much not being with him but at the same time i can't keep going on like this as its not helping me any. and thanks again u guys for all ur help.


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Posted

" i can't keep going on like this"--there is your answer so start anew NOW! :O)


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A.T_Kiani
Posted

I think u should tell him hom much u love him!


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Keith_Imeson
Posted

you have to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with someone else


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Posted

This is good timing. A g uy that was staying with me ,moved away on June 1 2013. he insists on texting me I have blacklisted his # but he persists. On occasion I do read his messages. He said "He paid someone 10,000 to kill me". I pesonally don't believe just want him to move on. I am told continually to change my number . Why ? when I do he wins right?


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Posted

"This is good timing" ??????? What do you mean by that???
No he doesn't win--you just stop being bothered by him--cut ALL communications with him!


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