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Mark_Card

Love? - Gay Guys! <3

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Mark_Card
Posted

Why is it so hard for guys to say what they feel and show emotion?


Kris_Yang
Posted

That's also what I want to ask .


Posted

It depends. You just need to look.


Posted

Easy for me--my heart and emotions are on my sleeve, show on my face and I tell people that I love--everyday!


Raymond_Kenneth_Pascua
Posted

Most of guys are afraid to be rejected that's why it's hard. "Actions speak louder that words".


Tristram_Goncalves
Posted

This will upset Martin but here goes, most American men are raised to be heterosexual; big, tough, silent, strong. Some ethnicities are better in male-male bonding can be warmer. I come from a family of huggers, very affectionate; Italian, Portuguese, French, Native American. I do not say love easily or quickly cuz so many men have abused that word to me over the years. I can tell you how I feel but I resist hearing the word love or using it until I feel we know each other enough to say it with confidence.


Joshua_Florence
Posted

i think it is because they have been hurt. A lot, and right from the get go as small children. The more love a person gets, be it male or female, the more they are likely to give it. And guys typically get the short end of the stick in terms of receiving love, throughout their lifetime, in comparison. This won't be the case for everyone, of course. Many do come from supportive families, have a solid social network (real friends, not Facebook!!), and are engaged in community and recreation. These folks do tend to be able to give and receive love. Only trouble there is finding these ppl and getting to know them!


Posted

Joshua, I had to learn how to love and I thank my friends over the years for that-- it is not an easy lesson to learn but certainly worth the effort--I have come to love 100% with an open heart and not to hurt if avoidable--it is a good way to live--and to answer Mark's question I find it very easy to show the love I feel for people in my life and those yet to enter it.


Posted

Raymond many years ago I learned that 'if you reject me you are missing out' and it is true--there is only one me and only I can offer what I have--you don't want it then it is your loss! :O)


Posted

We live in a society that is very gender specific. We begin genderization from the moment of birth, pink for little girls, blue for little boys. Emotions are allowed in little girls, but boys are supposed to be unemotional. And the United States Exports these gender roles throughout the world through our television programs.


Posted

But Chris you can change that 'tape' in your head anytime you want--I did 47 years ago--it is something you are taught and that you can unlearn--if you want to.


Posted

Martin, I recognize that you have already made up your mind, and nothing anyone says will make any difference. Since I have a different opinion than yours, and have research to back up my opinion, I will just shut up now since there is no way to have this conversation without it becoming you bashing everyone who disagrees with you.


Posted

Chris, WOW! That's harsh--I have research and personal experience having been involved with Transactional Analysis and studied with Eric Berne and Thomas Harris--I literally changed 'tapes' after listening and hearing them for 32 years. How am I 'bashing' you--how am I saying you are wrong? I would really be interested to see/hear about your research--sorry you don't seem to be open to discussions--it is not something I said you had to do or it was the only way.
Sorry you are so easily offended--I apologize for however you feel I was attacking you.


Posted

I try to fight the genderization of my kids. I can't stand the "pink is for girls and blue is for boys" nonsense. I tell my son that it's okay for men to cry. (He's not yet a year old, anyway.) I have no qualms buying a toy tractor for my daughter or a purple dragon for my son.


Posted

Jack, I thought younger generations had gotten past that 'pink and blue thinking' but obviously not--sad.


Tristram_Goncalves
Posted

@Jack, my girls were tomboys and cuz as a single man I found girls' sizes as confusing as womens' sizes, ie; no corelation to reality, I bought them boys jeans and t-shirts and sneakers. Everyone said that I was turning them into lesbians cuz I was confusing them.

Frankly they needed boys' jeans cuz they was tougher and they had whopping bigass feet like thier father (14EEE) and their grandmother (Womans' 10). They only wore girly things on holidays cuz my mother would buy them outfits. None of them have turned out lesbian, just fiercely independent, and at least they don't have fistfights any more. I was always at school cuz they had cleaned, often justifiably, someone's clock.


Posted

@ Jack and Tristram, There are people like yourselves that have bucked the genderization of marketing, but the vast majority of the worlds population just follow the marketing of genderization like sheep. If their television tells them that they need to buy this or that to be Feminine, Masculine, Beautiful, Handsome, or Sexy, they are pulling out the credit card. And if Marketing tells them that they need to buy this for their son to become a real man, and that item to make their daughter more attractive to men, you could become blinded by the flash from all the credit cards being pulled out into the light. I think that it is telling, that the island nations of Tongo and Samoa never had the problem of women having eating disorders until American Television came to their Island Nations, now they deal with Anorexia, Bulimia, and other eating disorders. We sell this notion that women should be a size 2, but it is an unhealthy and unrealistic notion. Look at most of the so called supermodels we have today, gay men and jewish grandmothers around the world are looking at them and saying "eat something gurl", "have a sandwich", or "put some meat on those bones, you'll never carry a kid to term looking like that".


Tristram_Goncalves
Posted

Since my children are Black I avoided getting them non-ethnic dolls and other toys.


Posted

My daughter used to have a black doll. I had one too until he stopped texting me a couple months ago.


Tristram_Goncalves
Posted

My girls had dolls of all racial backgrounds, including White, but I felt it was important that we had toys that broke sexual and racial stereotypes. My creche scene is Native American, as are some of the angel ornaments on the tree and the angel at the top of the tree is a Swahili angel named Imani. The elves were caucasian, hard to get a good tan in the Arctic.

As for your Black doll, sorry to hear that his voice activation stopped working.



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